Case Study: How to achieve work-life balance that is real & sustainable
I hear time and time again that work-life balance isn’t real or possible to achieve.
And I totally get that. As a multi-passionate/dimensional human…having time for everything that’s important to us isn’t easy in the society we live in.
While I won’t get into society’s failings here, I will say that there are many things we can do as individuals to make the juggling act easier for ourselves.
In this blog post, one of my clients Talon will delve into what helped them achieve work-life balance. Hint: It’s not another hack.
Rather than temporary solutions, we explored the ratio of work, rest and play that makes them the happiest, what types of play and rest are the best, the type of work and social environments that enable them to thrive and give more, and so much more.
Together, we uncovered how to best spend their time to be well and accomplish everything they need and want as a full-time and part-time jobber, creative, partner, and cat parent.
We made work-life balance real, and sustainable.
Tell us who you are and what you do.
Talon Tuong. Property manager & accountant, fantasy writer, mixed media artist, tarot reader, and cat parent
What was your life like before time coaching with me?
I reached out to Becca at the end of October. I had hit another burnout moment because I had overfilled my calendar yet again, and one more stressor was the hay that broke this camel's back.
I was overwhelmed with too many great opportunities and friends, and feeling guilty about declining any of them. Because I should be grateful for all I have, right?
I wanted to maintain good friendships. I wanted time to grow as an artist, take care of my house and cats, go on dates, and rejuvenate in solitude.
I work full-time plus part-time. I had no idea how to do it all or how to say No. I was starting to resent friends and invitations especially living in Los Angeles where things are happening all the time.
I felt like I was reacting to everything, and things stopped feeling fun. I started trying to say No, and I felt grief over being too tired to pursue certain opportunities, and while some friends were supportive, others felt threatened that I would spend less time with them.
I knew I couldn't handle it alone, so I started looking for time management coaches because I was feeling mad and conflicted about my calendar. I felt stuffy and agitated all the time.
What did you love about working together?
I discovered my guiding values, and I was surprised to find that they applied to literally everything in my life.
I opened up to Becca about every new challenge that came up in my life, I'd do the prompts she gave me, and as she'd listen to me process my experiences, she mirrored how all my hopes and fears led back to the same core values. Even when I thought it was a new situation, new problem, new people, new area of life. It all came back to Authenticity, Ease and Sharing My Joy.
I want to stay true to my values, always. And I want things to stay easeful. I want to rest. I want to work from a place of excitement and strength. I don't want to struggle and strain. I want to share what's true to me and find those who resonate with it, and nothing less.
Becca's ability to synthesize and cut to the heart of all my rambling thoughts is her superpower! When I would get into overthinking, she helped me come home to things I already said! And through experiencing the powerful way she listened to me and mirrored me, I learned to enjoy listening to myself and others more deeply than ever.
What has happened in your life or business since we worked together?
The stars aligned because I went through it all with Becca! I had holidays, got sick, needed to help my parents, fought with friends, job creep happened. Everything that could uproot all my perfect calendar plans happened. I was especially fixated on my relationships, whether to be on social media, and my creative calling.
By the time we were done, I had strengthened my boundaries and emotional regulation toolkit for when stress hit any random day or week. I no longer feel derailed when chaos happens. I just deepen into self-care first.
I was able to shift my intention for creativity so that I express myself as an extension of whatever self-care I need that week, instead of trying to push myself to come up with things to create on top of what I'm already doing.
I improved my relationships by creating more time for myself to rest and center so that I could fully show up as my best self for people.
At first, I feared that in order to make more time for creativity, I needed more solitary time than people time and that it would be a huge shift for the people in my life. I'm a people pleaser! Horrifying! But it turns out I needed more rest. I didn't have to choose between social and solo opportunities. By choosing rest, I was able to show up more fully for both.
I finished more paintings, wrote more, joined a book club, and I did all of it from a place of easygoing joy instead of panicked juggling.
Artist block and social resentment went away because I made more space to do nothing and feel zero pressure.
By giving myself more time to do nothing, to not have any obligations, it gave me the room to approach my active moments more gratefully and energetically. I did have to do a lot less than I was doing before. I do have to see people less often. I absolutely had to find a metric of success beyond an online presence. Now, I get more things done that matter to me with greater joy because I feel rested enough to gravitate towards what gives me meaning.
I'm spending time with people who are uplifting and uplifted when we're together, instead of seeing people because they "need" me to show up x number of times to be considered a true friend.
Right now, I'm experiencing job creep, and I still feel centered because I prioritize sustainable balanced work, rest and play. I am not about nonstop productivity or nonstop emotional labor. If it's not sustainable, it's not for me, and I will forge a new path creatively like I always do.
What do you think made those things (listed above) possible?
What helped me shift most was seeing myself as a whole person. I'm not just my passion or my role at work or to my loved ones. I'm also my health, my basic needs, my home, my sense of safety, my need to experiment and make mistakes and explore, my work ethic, a cat person. All of me needs care.
If I need to cut back on one area of my life, it's not because I'm failing. It's because I'm taking care of multiple parts of me.
I figured out the ratio of work, rest and play that make me happiest.
I figured out what types of play and rest do the most for me.
I figured out the type of work and social environments that enable me to thrive and give more.
I learned to trust the practice that when I'm relaxed and rested, I have so much more effortless energy than when I'm trying too hard. It felt really counterintuitive, as I'm so used to anxiously doing the most.
To know that I can be loved and enough by doing less is my healing journey.
The people who believe in overworking and overgiving are not going to come with me into my easefully abundant future.
What would you say to someone thinking about working with Becca?
Becca completely raised the bar for me of what to expect from a coach.
There are many life coaches out there who aren't going to fit you because they are selling you their results and their methods. If you want their life, then it's perfect. But what if you don't know what you want or if your desires keep changing from where you started? What if you don't know what methods will work for your unique brain and lifestyle? What if you want to do many things, in a world that keeps telling you to pick one habit and do it for 2 minutes daily? How does that add up to being a sustainably multipassionate person!
I love that Becca isn't trying to help me manage my time to be a creative spiritual entrepreneur. She helped me take care of my whole self so I can handle my many passions and stressors in a way that's more realistic to my life and personality.
And her approach isn't some mysteriously paywalled method. She takes the time to deeply hear your heart's aim and your rhythms, and to make your calendar match your truth and your everchanging reality. I think in this hectic world, it is a radical act to take the time to truly know ourselves. She'll give you that time.