Case Study: How to achieve work-life balance that is real & sustainable
I hear time and time again that work-life balance isn’t real or possible to achieve.
And I totally get that. As a multi-passionate/dimensional human…having time for everything that’s important to us isn’t easy in the society we live in.
While I won’t get into society’s failings here, I will say that there are many things we can do as individuals to make the juggling act easier for ourselves.
In this blog post, one of my clients Talon will delve into what helped them achieve work-life balance. Hint: It’s not another hack.
Rather than temporary solutions, we explored the ratio of work, rest and play that makes them the happiest, what types of play and rest are the best, the type of work and social environments that enable them to thrive and give more, and so much more.
Together, we uncovered how to best spend their time to be well and accomplish everything they need and want as a full-time and part-time jobber, creative, partner, and cat parent.
We made work-life balance real, and sustainable.
Tell us who you are and what you do.
Talon Tuong. Property manager & accountant, fantasy writer, mixed media artist, tarot reader, and cat parent
What was your life like before time coaching with me?
I reached out to Becca at the end of October. I had hit another burnout moment because I had overfilled my calendar yet again, and one more stressor was the hay that broke this camel's back.
I was overwhelmed with too many great opportunities and friends, and feeling guilty about declining any of them. Because I should be grateful for all I have, right?
I wanted to maintain good friendships. I wanted time to grow as an artist, take care of my house and cats, go on dates, and rejuvenate in solitude.
I work full-time plus part-time. I had no idea how to do it all or how to say No. I was starting to resent friends and invitations especially living in Los Angeles where things are happening all the time.
I felt like I was reacting to everything, and things stopped feeling fun. I started trying to say No, and I felt grief over being too tired to pursue certain opportunities, and while some friends were supportive, others felt threatened that I would spend less time with them.
I knew I couldn't handle it alone, so I started looking for time management coaches because I was feeling mad and conflicted about my calendar. I felt stuffy and agitated all the time.
What did you love about working together?
I discovered my guiding values, and I was surprised to find that they applied to literally everything in my life.
I opened up to Becca about every new challenge that came up in my life, I'd do the prompts she gave me, and as she'd listen to me process my experiences, she mirrored how all my hopes and fears led back to the same core values. Even when I thought it was a new situation, new problem, new people, new area of life. It all came back to Authenticity, Ease and Sharing My Joy.
I want to stay true to my values, always. And I want things to stay easeful. I want to rest. I want to work from a place of excitement and strength. I don't want to struggle and strain. I want to share what's true to me and find those who resonate with it, and nothing less.
Becca's ability to synthesize and cut to the heart of all my rambling thoughts is her superpower! When I would get into overthinking, she helped me come home to things I already said! And through experiencing the powerful way she listened to me and mirrored me, I learned to enjoy listening to myself and others more deeply than ever.
What has happened in your life or business since we worked together?
The stars aligned because I went through it all with Becca! I had holidays, got sick, needed to help my parents, fought with friends, job creep happened. Everything that could uproot all my perfect calendar plans happened. I was especially fixated on my relationships, whether to be on social media, and my creative calling.
By the time we were done, I had strengthened my boundaries and emotional regulation toolkit for when stress hit any random day or week. I no longer feel derailed when chaos happens. I just deepen into self-care first.
I was able to shift my intention for creativity so that I express myself as an extension of whatever self-care I need that week, instead of trying to push myself to come up with things to create on top of what I'm already doing.
I improved my relationships by creating more time for myself to rest and center so that I could fully show up as my best self for people.
At first, I feared that in order to make more time for creativity, I needed more solitary time than people time and that it would be a huge shift for the people in my life. I'm a people pleaser! Horrifying! But it turns out I needed more rest. I didn't have to choose between social and solo opportunities. By choosing rest, I was able to show up more fully for both.
I finished more paintings, wrote more, joined a book club, and I did all of it from a place of easygoing joy instead of panicked juggling.
Artist block and social resentment went away because I made more space to do nothing and feel zero pressure.
By giving myself more time to do nothing, to not have any obligations, it gave me the room to approach my active moments more gratefully and energetically. I did have to do a lot less than I was doing before. I do have to see people less often. I absolutely had to find a metric of success beyond an online presence. Now, I get more things done that matter to me with greater joy because I feel rested enough to gravitate towards what gives me meaning.
I'm spending time with people who are uplifting and uplifted when we're together, instead of seeing people because they "need" me to show up x number of times to be considered a true friend.
Right now, I'm experiencing job creep, and I still feel centered because I prioritize sustainable balanced work, rest and play. I am not about nonstop productivity or nonstop emotional labor. If it's not sustainable, it's not for me, and I will forge a new path creatively like I always do.
What do you think made those things (listed above) possible?
What helped me shift most was seeing myself as a whole person. I'm not just my passion or my role at work or to my loved ones. I'm also my health, my basic needs, my home, my sense of safety, my need to experiment and make mistakes and explore, my work ethic, a cat person. All of me needs care.
If I need to cut back on one area of my life, it's not because I'm failing. It's because I'm taking care of multiple parts of me.
I figured out the ratio of work, rest and play that make me happiest.
I figured out what types of play and rest do the most for me.
I figured out the type of work and social environments that enable me to thrive and give more.
I learned to trust the practice that when I'm relaxed and rested, I have so much more effortless energy than when I'm trying too hard. It felt really counterintuitive, as I'm so used to anxiously doing the most.
To know that I can be loved and enough by doing less is my healing journey.
The people who believe in overworking and overgiving are not going to come with me into my easefully abundant future.
What would you say to someone thinking about working with Becca?
Becca completely raised the bar for me of what to expect from a coach.
There are many life coaches out there who aren't going to fit you because they are selling you their results and their methods. If you want their life, then it's perfect. But what if you don't know what you want or if your desires keep changing from where you started? What if you don't know what methods will work for your unique brain and lifestyle? What if you want to do many things, in a world that keeps telling you to pick one habit and do it for 2 minutes daily? How does that add up to being a sustainably multipassionate person!
I love that Becca isn't trying to help me manage my time to be a creative spiritual entrepreneur. She helped me take care of my whole self so I can handle my many passions and stressors in a way that's more realistic to my life and personality.
And her approach isn't some mysteriously paywalled method. She takes the time to deeply hear your heart's aim and your rhythms, and to make your calendar match your truth and your everchanging reality. I think in this hectic world, it is a radical act to take the time to truly know ourselves. She'll give you that time.
Experience and enjoy balance in your own life.
Book a complimentary 30-min exploration call here.
Partner Works Too Much? Why & What To Do About It
My partner means so much to me. We just celebrated four years (watch this short montage reel I created!) of marriage and it still feels like we’re in the honeymoon phase most days.
I credit much of the strength of our relationship to the healing and growth work I’ve done around time, worth, and success.
Why?
Simply put, time is your life. Time is your presence. And it’s how you show love.
Before I started healing my own misunderstandings around time... I spend most of it working. Not just on my “work-work”. I was always going and doing things.
Without checking everything off my to-do list and successfully achieving all my goals, I didn’t feel deserving of love or partnership.
Where did this leave me? Us?
While I cherished my relationship, it was suffering because of my inability to be with him. I rarely sat still long enough to form a real and deep connection with myself, let alone my partner.
Cue all the frustration, resentment, and guilt.
I created this blog for those of us craving more presence with our partners, our kids, our family members, or even ourselves. Keep reading for an inside look at making time for loved ones, because it is possible to have time for everything that’s important to you. And holistic time management can help get you there.
How do you know if you or your partner works too much?
These are the signs that I personally experience, and my clients’ experience, when we’re not making time for our loved ones.
Frustration, resentment, and/or guilt towards self or partner.
Feeling physically, mentally, or emotionally disconnected from your partner.
Never having time to cook and enjoy meals together.
Feeling unbalanced in domestic duties.
Struggling to not talk about work when you aren’t working.
Any successes you do have feel empty.
Think of something else I haven’t included in the list above? Feel free to share your unique experience in the comments below - who knows, others might be in the same spot.
Why is it so difficult to make time for our partners? We love them!
If your partner works too much or you find it difficult to make time for your partner... You are not alone.
As a time coach, an extremely common goal of my clients is to have more time for their loved ones. They want to know, “why is it so hard to make time for the people I love?”
Often it’s not about a lack of love. It’s because we’ve been taught to place more value on work, money (especially if we’re in survival mode), and success.
Many people label time with loved ones as rest, time off, and/or self-care. As we know, those are some of the most challenging things to actually have time for. We have to flip this inherent prioritization in order to reclaim our time.
If you’re a business owner, this feeling can compound even more. Our businesses feel like our babies in a way, taking time away from them feels impossible. Businesses that are passion-led and mission-based are deeply connected to our purpose.
Want to read more about the truth about the difficulty of taking time off? Click here.
What to do if you or your partner works too much?
The answer to this is a complex one. Because you and your relationships are unique, giving tips and advice doesn’t feel all that useful here.
The best thing I can offer are these three coaching questions:
Is making time for your loved one important to you?
If so, why? What will happen in your life if you make more time for them?
What is ONE small thing you can implement today to be more present with them? Some steps could look like:
Pause and take a deep breath (or three).
Setting clear expectations with your partner about how you spend your days.
Discover and focus on doing the things you both love to do together.
Heal any limiting beliefs around what’s preventing you from making time for them and being present.
Create time management systems to make the time actually happen. For example, a shared calendar to more openly communicate your schedules. In my Sustainable Schedule VIP Day, I’ve worked with clients to create shared calendars with their partners, for their kids, and a co-parenting schedule. Learn more here.
Adopt a practice mindset where it’s okay to mess up and fail sometimes.
Recognizing the little moments throughout the day.
Notice a trend in all these steps above? They’re all related to time management.
Why time management is so important for good relationships
Simply put, time is your life. Time is your presence. And it’s how you show love.
It’s also how you make money, pay your bills, and find fulfillment in your life.
Making time for everything that’s important and meaningful to you is no doubt a juggling act. I’ll be the first to say it is a constant work in progress. (Yes, even for me… a time coach).
Time management is the most important thing you can focus on because when you effectively accomplish everything you need to, tasks don’t bleed over into your time with your loved ones.
You can relax and enjoy the company of your people without feeling guilty (HUGE!)
When you prioritize and dedicate time and energy to your relationship, it will flourish.
If you are able to tap into the present moment when you’re with your partner, it’ll be a lot easier to feel connected and loved.
The opposite is also true. When you don’t spend time with the people that mean the most to you, the relationship will suffer in some way. Learn more about the benefits of rethinking how you manage your time.
Holistic Time Management is your best bet for making time for loved ones
Traditional time management focuses on helping you be your most productive self at work, sometimes at home. When you set goals, create a schedule, or write a to-do list… it’s rarely encouraged or taught to include things like rest, time off, and/or self-care.
If we equate our relationships with those things, it makes complete sense to me that they don’t happen as often as we’d like them to.
Holistic time management understands the entire scope of your life and what’s most important to you, like your relationships. Managing your time with a holistic approach will allow you to be a whole human being.
Learn more about why holistic time management works so well here.
Want your evenings back to spend with your partner (not thinking about work?)
Learn more about 1:1 holistic time coaching.
Don't know how to slow down and enjoy life more? Here's how she did it.
At a point in your life where you’re trying to slow down and enjoy life more yet don’t exactly know where to go from here?
You know a lot of the systems you’ve been using and the old ways of thinking about time and productivity aren’t serving you anymore and you’re not sure what else things could look like?
You’re not alone.
The pandemic has made quite a lot of people
Rethink what they’re doing with their lives
How they spend their time, and
Finally, realize they have needs and desires…like slowing down… they need to listen to.
Learn about how Kasia slowed down and the massive impact it had on her business, relationships, and health.
Tell us who you are and what you do.
Hi! I’m Kasia, a specialist in the field of menstrual cycle disorders, and a graduate of pharmacy and clinical nutritionist at Wiecej Niz Hormony.
Why did you want to work with me?
I was at a point in my life where I was slowing down, and I knew a lot of things I used to do didn’t work for me.
My systems didn’t work because I was trying to fit myself into them, instead of the opposite.
I didn’t know how to create my own flexible structure.
What doubts did you have before working together?
I was trying to figure out if I really needed this or if it was just a whim.
I was worried that I would place all of my future hopes in it, and I didn’t want to do that to myself again.
Of course, financially I wasn’t sure if it was the best time or if it wasn’t worth it…. BUT it was one of the best decisions of my life.
What has been your favorite part so far?
Every part!
I am in the center, and I am able to make decisions for myself. There are no shoulds and pressure.
The space you created for me is so calming and loving.
You ask me so many questions… permission to tell you something, what our next steps are.
I feel taken care of!
What would you say was the biggest thing that changed for you?
I let go of all the shoulds and musts and prioritize myself. Even though it sounds so simple and everyone talks about that, I didn’t do it because I thought there are still things I should do, rules to follow in order to be successful in my life and business. I now put myself first when it comes to my schedule and to-do lists.
My business grew and I earn more money.
I finally know so much more about myself and my needs.
I decluttered my life from so many things that don’t serve me.
I’m so much more in tune with myself, respect myself more, my time more.
My google calendar doesn’t scare me anymore, finally!
…and so much more. I could talk about this forever.
Who would you recommend me to work with?
People who are struggling with finding the perfect time management system.
People who want to live more in tune with themselves, want to discover their values, and want to live a peaceful joyful life.
Any last thoughts?
It was one of the best investments of my life working with you.
It completely transformed my life in a way I couldn’t even believe was possible.
Want earning more money while feeling in tune with yourself to be way less stressful and painful? Apply to work with me here.
This one small change can make a big difference in your life
When you’re struggling to stay afloat, it’s extremely difficult to make changes.
However, in order to get out of that place, change is non-negotiable.
It’s the conundrum of the dog chasing its own tail.
How do you figure out what change will make the biggest difference?
How do you trust the change you’re making is the right one?
That’s what Jennifer and I’s work together really answered for her.
One of the biggest benefits of getting a coach is talking to someone else from a different place physically, mentally, and emotionally.
As Jennifer’s time coach, I offered a calming and pressure-free space for her to identify the tiny (almost invisible) shifts she needed to make great progress… and she did!
Read more about her journey below and how focusing on just how she used her time made a HUGE difference in her life.
Tell us who you are and what you do.
Hi! I’m Jennifer Garcia, Career Coach & Resume Writer. Best Resume Coach
What was your business and life like before time coaching with me?
I was struggling with staying afloat. I wasn't using my time in the business to move it forward only to barely sustain it.
I felt like I was constantly spinning my wheels and feeling burnt out and, honestly, hopeless.
I wanted to quit my business because I had no time for family or self-care.
You helped me change all that!
What did you love about working together?
I loved how our sessions were so calming! I honestly didn't expect that from a time management/productivity coach.
I expected it to be regimented and clear-cut. While you helped me have a clear vision, you never ever told me what to do or "should" do.
You gave me nudges in the right direction and encouraged me to learn and grow at my own pace. It was beautiful! Really.
I loved how I never felt pressured to get things done. I was already giving that kind of pressure to myself a lot. It was SO reassuring to come into a session with Becca, breathe together, and then trust that by making tiny (almost invisible) shifts I was going to make great progress. and I did! We did it together! That was so cool!
THANK YOU!!
I feel like the tools I have learned now can last me forever. You're so gifted as a coach and strong as a leader. I am so happy and thankful to work with you.
What has happened in your life or business since we worked together?
On month 1, week 1 I felt really skeptical (another thing I'm gonna fizzle out on). By month 2 I had some momentum. By month 3, I was pleasantly surprised to have reached my biggest goal!!
You helped me create more momentum and bring in more money in my business. It was really quite magical!
My business generated my monthly goal as a stay-at-home mom and part-time worker.
In my life, I have been calmer and let go of the anger and fears that held me back before.
I have time for rest, and better freaking sleep!! I am sleeping in now and not regretting it. I don’t feel behind or judgmental first thing when I wake up.
Better physical health, a better marital relationship, and better family relationships with my kids and with my siblings, parents, and friends.
I also have a better relationship with myself! I am now so much kinder to myself.
What do you think made those things (listed above) possible?
Trust and faith.
I had to believe in you and trust that you are capable and leading me on the right path to success. But ultimately, learning to trust myself and my own intuition. Being more open to (and ready for) having joy and fun in my life.
See yourself in Jennifer’s story and feel ready to see similar changes in your life? Click here to schedule a pressure-free consult call now.
Think good time management in entrepreneurship needs to be rigid? It doesn't.
Feel like your brain and time management seem to go together like oil and water?
Small tasks keep slipping by keeping you from sharing your wisdom and expertise with the world?
You’re not alone.
Traditional time management strategies feel rigid, constricting, and unhelpful to so many.
Want to know the secret sauce? Changing how you feel about and experience time.
Once you re-think and repair your relationship with time and time management, a system made for your brain and values will organically reveal itself to you.
Without doing that, time management will continue to hold you back.
Things CAN and WILL change.
Freedom, flexibility, and ease IS possible for you.
Hear from Dr. Caroline Addington below to learn more about how working with me impacted her, her business, and her life.