Case Study: How to achieve work-life balance that is real & sustainable
I hear time and time again that work-life balance isn’t real or possible to achieve.
And I totally get that. As a multi-passionate/dimensional human…having time for everything that’s important to us isn’t easy in the society we live in.
While I won’t get into society’s failings here, I will say that there are many things we can do as individuals to make the juggling act easier for ourselves.
In this blog post, one of my clients Talon will delve into what helped them achieve work-life balance. Hint: It’s not another hack.
Rather than temporary solutions, we explored the ratio of work, rest and play that makes them the happiest, what types of play and rest are the best, the type of work and social environments that enable them to thrive and give more, and so much more.
Together, we uncovered how to best spend their time to be well and accomplish everything they need and want as a full-time and part-time jobber, creative, partner, and cat parent.
We made work-life balance real, and sustainable.
Tell us who you are and what you do.
Talon Tuong. Property manager & accountant, fantasy writer, mixed media artist, tarot reader, and cat parent
What was your life like before time coaching with me?
I reached out to Becca at the end of October. I had hit another burnout moment because I had overfilled my calendar yet again, and one more stressor was the hay that broke this camel's back.
I was overwhelmed with too many great opportunities and friends, and feeling guilty about declining any of them. Because I should be grateful for all I have, right?
I wanted to maintain good friendships. I wanted time to grow as an artist, take care of my house and cats, go on dates, and rejuvenate in solitude.
I work full-time plus part-time. I had no idea how to do it all or how to say No. I was starting to resent friends and invitations especially living in Los Angeles where things are happening all the time.
I felt like I was reacting to everything, and things stopped feeling fun. I started trying to say No, and I felt grief over being too tired to pursue certain opportunities, and while some friends were supportive, others felt threatened that I would spend less time with them.
I knew I couldn't handle it alone, so I started looking for time management coaches because I was feeling mad and conflicted about my calendar. I felt stuffy and agitated all the time.
What did you love about working together?
I discovered my guiding values, and I was surprised to find that they applied to literally everything in my life.
I opened up to Becca about every new challenge that came up in my life, I'd do the prompts she gave me, and as she'd listen to me process my experiences, she mirrored how all my hopes and fears led back to the same core values. Even when I thought it was a new situation, new problem, new people, new area of life. It all came back to Authenticity, Ease and Sharing My Joy.
I want to stay true to my values, always. And I want things to stay easeful. I want to rest. I want to work from a place of excitement and strength. I don't want to struggle and strain. I want to share what's true to me and find those who resonate with it, and nothing less.
Becca's ability to synthesize and cut to the heart of all my rambling thoughts is her superpower! When I would get into overthinking, she helped me come home to things I already said! And through experiencing the powerful way she listened to me and mirrored me, I learned to enjoy listening to myself and others more deeply than ever.
What has happened in your life or business since we worked together?
The stars aligned because I went through it all with Becca! I had holidays, got sick, needed to help my parents, fought with friends, job creep happened. Everything that could uproot all my perfect calendar plans happened. I was especially fixated on my relationships, whether to be on social media, and my creative calling.
By the time we were done, I had strengthened my boundaries and emotional regulation toolkit for when stress hit any random day or week. I no longer feel derailed when chaos happens. I just deepen into self-care first.
I was able to shift my intention for creativity so that I express myself as an extension of whatever self-care I need that week, instead of trying to push myself to come up with things to create on top of what I'm already doing.
I improved my relationships by creating more time for myself to rest and center so that I could fully show up as my best self for people.
At first, I feared that in order to make more time for creativity, I needed more solitary time than people time and that it would be a huge shift for the people in my life. I'm a people pleaser! Horrifying! But it turns out I needed more rest. I didn't have to choose between social and solo opportunities. By choosing rest, I was able to show up more fully for both.
I finished more paintings, wrote more, joined a book club, and I did all of it from a place of easygoing joy instead of panicked juggling.
Artist block and social resentment went away because I made more space to do nothing and feel zero pressure.
By giving myself more time to do nothing, to not have any obligations, it gave me the room to approach my active moments more gratefully and energetically. I did have to do a lot less than I was doing before. I do have to see people less often. I absolutely had to find a metric of success beyond an online presence. Now, I get more things done that matter to me with greater joy because I feel rested enough to gravitate towards what gives me meaning.
I'm spending time with people who are uplifting and uplifted when we're together, instead of seeing people because they "need" me to show up x number of times to be considered a true friend.
Right now, I'm experiencing job creep, and I still feel centered because I prioritize sustainable balanced work, rest and play. I am not about nonstop productivity or nonstop emotional labor. If it's not sustainable, it's not for me, and I will forge a new path creatively like I always do.
What do you think made those things (listed above) possible?
What helped me shift most was seeing myself as a whole person. I'm not just my passion or my role at work or to my loved ones. I'm also my health, my basic needs, my home, my sense of safety, my need to experiment and make mistakes and explore, my work ethic, a cat person. All of me needs care.
If I need to cut back on one area of my life, it's not because I'm failing. It's because I'm taking care of multiple parts of me.
I figured out the ratio of work, rest and play that make me happiest.
I figured out what types of play and rest do the most for me.
I figured out the type of work and social environments that enable me to thrive and give more.
I learned to trust the practice that when I'm relaxed and rested, I have so much more effortless energy than when I'm trying too hard. It felt really counterintuitive, as I'm so used to anxiously doing the most.
To know that I can be loved and enough by doing less is my healing journey.
The people who believe in overworking and overgiving are not going to come with me into my easefully abundant future.
What would you say to someone thinking about working with Becca?
Becca completely raised the bar for me of what to expect from a coach.
There are many life coaches out there who aren't going to fit you because they are selling you their results and their methods. If you want their life, then it's perfect. But what if you don't know what you want or if your desires keep changing from where you started? What if you don't know what methods will work for your unique brain and lifestyle? What if you want to do many things, in a world that keeps telling you to pick one habit and do it for 2 minutes daily? How does that add up to being a sustainably multipassionate person!
I love that Becca isn't trying to help me manage my time to be a creative spiritual entrepreneur. She helped me take care of my whole self so I can handle my many passions and stressors in a way that's more realistic to my life and personality.
And her approach isn't some mysteriously paywalled method. She takes the time to deeply hear your heart's aim and your rhythms, and to make your calendar match your truth and your everchanging reality. I think in this hectic world, it is a radical act to take the time to truly know ourselves. She'll give you that time.
Experience and enjoy balance in your own life.
Book a complimentary 30-min exploration call here.
Partner Works Too Much? Why & What To Do About It
My partner means so much to me. We just celebrated four years (watch this short montage reel I created!) of marriage and it still feels like we’re in the honeymoon phase most days.
I credit much of the strength of our relationship to the healing and growth work I’ve done around time, worth, and success.
Why?
Simply put, time is your life. Time is your presence. And it’s how you show love.
Before I started healing my own misunderstandings around time... I spend most of it working. Not just on my “work-work”. I was always going and doing things.
Without checking everything off my to-do list and successfully achieving all my goals, I didn’t feel deserving of love or partnership.
Where did this leave me? Us?
While I cherished my relationship, it was suffering because of my inability to be with him. I rarely sat still long enough to form a real and deep connection with myself, let alone my partner.
Cue all the frustration, resentment, and guilt.
I created this blog for those of us craving more presence with our partners, our kids, our family members, or even ourselves. Keep reading for an inside look at making time for loved ones, because it is possible to have time for everything that’s important to you. And holistic time management can help get you there.
How do you know if you or your partner works too much?
These are the signs that I personally experience, and my clients’ experience, when we’re not making time for our loved ones.
Frustration, resentment, and/or guilt towards self or partner.
Feeling physically, mentally, or emotionally disconnected from your partner.
Never having time to cook and enjoy meals together.
Feeling unbalanced in domestic duties.
Struggling to not talk about work when you aren’t working.
Any successes you do have feel empty.
Think of something else I haven’t included in the list above? Feel free to share your unique experience in the comments below - who knows, others might be in the same spot.
Why is it so difficult to make time for our partners? We love them!
If your partner works too much or you find it difficult to make time for your partner... You are not alone.
As a time coach, an extremely common goal of my clients is to have more time for their loved ones. They want to know, “why is it so hard to make time for the people I love?”
Often it’s not about a lack of love. It’s because we’ve been taught to place more value on work, money (especially if we’re in survival mode), and success.
Many people label time with loved ones as rest, time off, and/or self-care. As we know, those are some of the most challenging things to actually have time for. We have to flip this inherent prioritization in order to reclaim our time.
If you’re a business owner, this feeling can compound even more. Our businesses feel like our babies in a way, taking time away from them feels impossible. Businesses that are passion-led and mission-based are deeply connected to our purpose.
Want to read more about the truth about the difficulty of taking time off? Click here.
What to do if you or your partner works too much?
The answer to this is a complex one. Because you and your relationships are unique, giving tips and advice doesn’t feel all that useful here.
The best thing I can offer are these three coaching questions:
Is making time for your loved one important to you?
If so, why? What will happen in your life if you make more time for them?
What is ONE small thing you can implement today to be more present with them? Some steps could look like:
Pause and take a deep breath (or three).
Setting clear expectations with your partner about how you spend your days.
Discover and focus on doing the things you both love to do together.
Heal any limiting beliefs around what’s preventing you from making time for them and being present.
Create time management systems to make the time actually happen. For example, a shared calendar to more openly communicate your schedules. In my Sustainable Schedule VIP Day, I’ve worked with clients to create shared calendars with their partners, for their kids, and a co-parenting schedule. Learn more here.
Adopt a practice mindset where it’s okay to mess up and fail sometimes.
Recognizing the little moments throughout the day.
Notice a trend in all these steps above? They’re all related to time management.
Why time management is so important for good relationships
Simply put, time is your life. Time is your presence. And it’s how you show love.
It’s also how you make money, pay your bills, and find fulfillment in your life.
Making time for everything that’s important and meaningful to you is no doubt a juggling act. I’ll be the first to say it is a constant work in progress. (Yes, even for me… a time coach).
Time management is the most important thing you can focus on because when you effectively accomplish everything you need to, tasks don’t bleed over into your time with your loved ones.
You can relax and enjoy the company of your people without feeling guilty (HUGE!)
When you prioritize and dedicate time and energy to your relationship, it will flourish.
If you are able to tap into the present moment when you’re with your partner, it’ll be a lot easier to feel connected and loved.
The opposite is also true. When you don’t spend time with the people that mean the most to you, the relationship will suffer in some way. Learn more about the benefits of rethinking how you manage your time.
Holistic Time Management is your best bet for making time for loved ones
Traditional time management focuses on helping you be your most productive self at work, sometimes at home. When you set goals, create a schedule, or write a to-do list… it’s rarely encouraged or taught to include things like rest, time off, and/or self-care.
If we equate our relationships with those things, it makes complete sense to me that they don’t happen as often as we’d like them to.
Holistic time management understands the entire scope of your life and what’s most important to you, like your relationships. Managing your time with a holistic approach will allow you to be a whole human being.
Learn more about why holistic time management works so well here.
Want your evenings back to spend with your partner (not thinking about work?)
Learn more about 1:1 holistic time coaching.
Feeling overwhelmed in life? Take a deep breath with this powerful story.
Have you seen that meme that’s like…
“I’m just trying to survive while working 8 hours a day, while being a parent, while starting a side hustle, while making sure my house stays somewhat clean, while also trying to take care of myself?”
Amy was living that day in and day out.
Joy? Forget about it.
If you’re living that right now too, I see you.
Take a deeeep breath.
Maybe another one.
And another.
While you may want to burn everything to the ground today, I’m here to remind you that something different is possible.
A overwhelm and stress-free (or at least a looooot less) might feel impossible today, and as a holistic time coach, I’m here to remind you it is possible.
Let Amy’s story give you hope that a life full of ease, peace, and balance can happen for you too.
Want the journey towards that life to be a lot easier (and quicker)? I invite you to work with me!
Tell us who you are and what you do.
My name is Amy Cissell. I’m a USA Today Bestselling Author of paranormal women’s fiction, paranormal romance, and contemporary fantasy. And I’m a day jobber.
What was your business and life like before you began working with me?
I was overwhelmed & felt guilty about being overwhelmed.
I had too many things to do, unrealistic goals, and a fear of saying no to more and more.
I was balancing parenting, a day job, an insane writing schedule, a side hustle, and taking care of house stuff.
I felt terrible and worked from 7 am - 10 or 11 pm almost every day, less dinner times.
I took almost zero time to take care of myself, and I didn't even know what was important.
What doubts did you have before working together?
I really didn't think anything would change. I didn't know HOW it could.
There was so much to do and unless this was magic "make more time/time turner" situation, there was no way to get through my to-do lists any faster or to cure the procrastination that I felt so guilty about.
I worried it would be a gigantic waste of money.
What surprised you about working with me?
It was so fun! And positive. I learned things about myself - something I didn't expect after 4.5 decades of living and a million therapists.
What has happened in your life or business since we worked together?
I have learned to say no.
I scaled back my side hustle (editing for indie authors) to my two favorite clients in 2022 and made sure that everyone knows I'm not available for more.
I planned my 2022 writing schedule with realism so I won't find myself stressed and overwhelmed about my goals.
I was able to take a leap to a new day job that will pay more and better benefits knowing that it's not forever and I can make everything work without feeling like I've done too much.
I've made more on royalties in 2021 than ever before, and my editing business is booked through 2022, so I know what my income stream will look like.
I have discovered what I enjoy about NOT working, and although it's sometimes still a struggle, I no longer feel (very) guilty when I take that time for myself.
I take every other Sunday completely off work, and every other Saturday off after 3 pm.
I take time in the mornings to enjoy my solitude before jumping into my schedule.
What would you say to someone considering hiring Becca?
It's literally life-changing.
I work less, have waaaaaaay less stress, and am getting at least as much done.
I've remembered what gives me joy and try to link everything I have to do with that.
I don't have to find joy in my day job, but I can find joy BECAUSE of it.
I have the money to do things I love to do and I know that there is no reason to always be on 100% all the time.
Ready to go from feeling exhausted and overwhelmed to having time for yourself, rest, and everything else your soul is craving?
Click here to schedule a no-pressure consult call with me now.
This one small change can make a big difference in your life
When you’re struggling to stay afloat, it’s extremely difficult to make changes.
However, in order to get out of that place, change is non-negotiable.
It’s the conundrum of the dog chasing its own tail.
How do you figure out what change will make the biggest difference?
How do you trust the change you’re making is the right one?
That’s what Jennifer and I’s work together really answered for her.
One of the biggest benefits of getting a coach is talking to someone else from a different place physically, mentally, and emotionally.
As Jennifer’s time coach, I offered a calming and pressure-free space for her to identify the tiny (almost invisible) shifts she needed to make great progress… and she did!
Read more about her journey below and how focusing on just how she used her time made a HUGE difference in her life.
Tell us who you are and what you do.
Hi! I’m Jennifer Garcia, Career Coach & Resume Writer. Best Resume Coach
What was your business and life like before time coaching with me?
I was struggling with staying afloat. I wasn't using my time in the business to move it forward only to barely sustain it.
I felt like I was constantly spinning my wheels and feeling burnt out and, honestly, hopeless.
I wanted to quit my business because I had no time for family or self-care.
You helped me change all that!
What did you love about working together?
I loved how our sessions were so calming! I honestly didn't expect that from a time management/productivity coach.
I expected it to be regimented and clear-cut. While you helped me have a clear vision, you never ever told me what to do or "should" do.
You gave me nudges in the right direction and encouraged me to learn and grow at my own pace. It was beautiful! Really.
I loved how I never felt pressured to get things done. I was already giving that kind of pressure to myself a lot. It was SO reassuring to come into a session with Becca, breathe together, and then trust that by making tiny (almost invisible) shifts I was going to make great progress. and I did! We did it together! That was so cool!
THANK YOU!!
I feel like the tools I have learned now can last me forever. You're so gifted as a coach and strong as a leader. I am so happy and thankful to work with you.
What has happened in your life or business since we worked together?
On month 1, week 1 I felt really skeptical (another thing I'm gonna fizzle out on). By month 2 I had some momentum. By month 3, I was pleasantly surprised to have reached my biggest goal!!
You helped me create more momentum and bring in more money in my business. It was really quite magical!
My business generated my monthly goal as a stay-at-home mom and part-time worker.
In my life, I have been calmer and let go of the anger and fears that held me back before.
I have time for rest, and better freaking sleep!! I am sleeping in now and not regretting it. I don’t feel behind or judgmental first thing when I wake up.
Better physical health, a better marital relationship, and better family relationships with my kids and with my siblings, parents, and friends.
I also have a better relationship with myself! I am now so much kinder to myself.
What do you think made those things (listed above) possible?
Trust and faith.
I had to believe in you and trust that you are capable and leading me on the right path to success. But ultimately, learning to trust myself and my own intuition. Being more open to (and ready for) having joy and fun in my life.
See yourself in Jennifer’s story and feel ready to see similar changes in your life? Click here to schedule a pressure-free consult call now.
How to achieve your goals and feel well-rested (yes, it's possible!)
It feels extremely counter-productive to focus on rest and health FIRST, then our to-do lists.
We’ve been taught to get everything done, and then we can take a break.
What happens when it’s literally impossible to get everything done? Cause that’s the truth. You will never get everything done.
We stay exhausted, running on a treadmill of tasks hoping for one day when we can breathe.
That’s where traditional time management extremely suffers, and holistic time management excels.
When you put yourself first, like legit first, and everything else after… achieving your goals and feeling well-rested becomes a reality.
Finally!
Find out how Kirsten was able to put herself first while accomplishing even more than she set out to in our 3-months working together.
Since this post is more of a case study than a how-to, don’t miss the coaching questions at the end of this post to apply Kirsten’s wisdom and transformation to your life and business.
Tell us who you are and what you do.
Kirsten Welge, Founder/Director of Natural Awareness, LLC
What was achieving your personal and professional goals like before you began working with me?
After leaving my corporate healthcare manager position of 5 years for a 6 month 'sabbatical', I was struggling to set a daily routine that helped me complete deeply important goals AND left me feeling well-rested.
I relied on deadlines and a buildup of external and internal pressure to move me - which didn't translate well to cleaning the home or completing other "maintenance behaviors" necessary for life to run smoothly.
What did you love about having me as your holistic time coach?
Your check-ins strongly supported accountability.
Mindful breathing to start our sessions.
Experiencing your presence – you're gentle and accepting, which helped me to soften my approach to myself.
The invitations to try things out and see how they worked for me (like bedtime rituals).
Your approach to time management and the calendar make-over!!! <3 That was life-changing.
What has happened in your life or business since we worked together?
In my life…
I realized my body does cue me when it's tired -- and I am practicing setting a rhythm to settle towards a regular sleep time of 9-9:30 PM. (A far cry from working until 3 AM!!)
I began to listen more to my body, and nap when it asks me for rest. I feel more refreshed and relaxed.
I accepted that I am not a robot that can produce indefinitely at the same rate, regardless of feelings or circumstances.
I donated a trunk full of bags of items to Goodwill, and donated another 40 pieces of business clothes (suits, pants, jackets, shells, blouses) to a local group that sets up low-income women with interview & business clothing.
I cleared the main floor space of our home - AND KEPT IT CLEAN with maintenance of 5-10 min every evening. WOW! ...and this led to a huge breakthrough and more trust with my partner. Thank you!
I cleared a space in the basement for my "recording studio" for a national talk.
I prepared and delivered a national talk to my aikido federation on why I train, and how our training can be applied in daily life.
I completed a series of biweekly bike rides (including time trials, hill climbs, and gravel rides I'd never done before) on 10-40k+ routes from June-August.
I developed muscles and speed I have never had before.
I completed a 10-day solo Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness trip, with portaging (never done before), and found greater clarity and trust in my mind-body than ever before. I had no regrets whatsoever about spending that time alone.
In my business…
I opened up to being OK with not producing an income with every action I took.
I worked through anxiety about comparing myself to how others did things.
I worked through anxiety & resistance about offering certain classes, made clear, confident decisions, and experienced greater ease and alignment.
For Q4, I reduced my number of quarterly goals to THREE, from more than 8... and am seeing progress on those three fronts, instead of feeling like a hamster trying to spin multiple wheels. Awesome!!
Thanks to your calendar makeover, I now have large time blocks for focusing on a particular group of tasks. This is SO helpful!
And, I've built in time for daily activities to settle me and connect me to my partner and friends, which often fell to the wayside in the past.
I filed for my LLC!!!
And, I finally put together a site for my business and flier for my first program, Track Your Backyard! I have learned so much and now have a functioning website. AWESOME.
What do you think made those things (listed above) possible in just 3 months of working together?
Focusing on rest and health first.
When I'm rested, I have a greater awareness of myself and what's needed, short- and long-term - and I am more efficient and effective at completing what's needed.
Boom. ^That’s the key right there.
But how?! How do we make this massive shift in how we manage and think about time?
Here are some coaching questions for you to think through:
How might you put yourself first, and everything else second (or later)?
What might be keeping you from being able to do that?
What is your next best step forward?
Want to achieve all your deeply meaningful goals without feeling exhausted and overwhelmed?
Let’s make it happen! Click here to schedule a no-pressure consult call now.
Swamped by too much work? An inside look at how I can help you
Spend your "downtime" on weekends feeling guilty because you have too much work on your plate?
Not sure what the heck to do about your never-ending to-do list either?
I hear you, and I got you.
Most people think they have to change everything they’re doing, use rigid time management techniques, and be someone other than who they are.
Well, you don’t.
In fact, the more authentic and flexible you are, the easier it’ll be to kiss too much work and time-guilt goodbye and start actually getting ahead.
Hear from Maria Prendeville below to learn more about how working with me helped her…
Be more present with my family and friends.
Take time off feeling guilt-free.
No more working weekends or feeling bad for not working (even if it's been a busy week).
Hobbies be a lot more enjoyable.
Feel far more in tune with her gut and intuition.
Tell us who you are and what you do.
I’m Maria Prendeville and I’m a Content Writer for B2B companies.
Before you began working with me, what was your life like? Did you have too much work on your plate?
Yes! I felt burned out and like I couldn't stay on top of my never-ending to-do list. Every day I piled way too much on my plate, and often felt so overwhelmed that I couldn't even tackle anything.
Every week would end with me wishing I had 10 more days of the week to get stuff done!
Then, I would spend the "downtime" on weekends feeling guilty because I thought I should be working to catch up on stuff. So work was like a never-ending "unproductive", tiring guilt trip.
What doubts did you have before working together?
I was apprehensive about the process I would have to follow.
Although I had an idea that Becca worked closely with calendars and not with following stringent, whacky time management processes…there was a part of me that thought I'd have to completely overhaul my lifestyle and work methods and then that wouldn't last, because I knew no other way!
What has happened in your life or business since we worked together?
I have become far more relaxed about work and the stifling guilt that I felt almost every day about not working more is almost completely gone now!
I see now that work was probably the main problem/stressful area for me, but I've noticed that since I've started managing this better that the positive effects can be seen across my life.
I'm more present with my family and friends.
When I take time off it's guilt-free, it's a hard rule now that I don't work weekends.
I no longer feel bad for not working (even if it's been a busy week).
When I switch off I switch off completely.
My hobbies are a lot more enjoyable.
I'm far more in tune with my gut and intuition.
It has also put into perspective the kinds of industries and companies I want to work for; giving myself the space to find what I truly enjoy and the type of writing and reading I like means I intentionally choose who I work with.
I've also become a lot more flexible with my work. Before I thought I had to be super regimented and if I wasn't then the day was "ruined." Now I see with the help of my calendar how my time can be cleared and rescheduled according to random life events that inevitably pop up.
What do you think made those things (listed above) possible?
Having more compassion for myself and realizing that I truly am human with faults.
Becca's help with digging through why I feel the way I do and uncovering my rooted thoughts around certain beliefs I held definitely highlighted the unnecessary belief systems I followed. This questioning opened up a new way of thinking for me and she held the space for me to be able to think for myself about why I follow certain work rules or think I need to be this productive.
And of course, Becca showing me that my calendar is completely within my control and that there is space to do all the things in an effective manner while completing them stress-free!
What would you say to someone considering hiring Becca?
Your life is going to change! Haha but seriously, I would tell them it's money very well spent.
These are positive habits that will not only help with work but across all areas of your life. Instead of thinking about this coaching as something else you need to work on in your life and adding an extra stress, if anything this coaching allows you to focus on what is truly important and it helps to take AWAY those unnecessary to-do lists and stressors.