Case Study: How to achieve work-life balance that is real & sustainable
I hear time and time again that work-life balance isn’t real or possible to achieve.
And I totally get that. As a multi-passionate/dimensional human…having time for everything that’s important to us isn’t easy in the society we live in.
While I won’t get into society’s failings here, I will say that there are many things we can do as individuals to make the juggling act easier for ourselves.
In this blog post, one of my clients Talon will delve into what helped them achieve work-life balance. Hint: It’s not another hack.
Rather than temporary solutions, we explored the ratio of work, rest and play that makes them the happiest, what types of play and rest are the best, the type of work and social environments that enable them to thrive and give more, and so much more.
Together, we uncovered how to best spend their time to be well and accomplish everything they need and want as a full-time and part-time jobber, creative, partner, and cat parent.
We made work-life balance real, and sustainable.
Tell us who you are and what you do.
Talon Tuong. Property manager & accountant, fantasy writer, mixed media artist, tarot reader, and cat parent
What was your life like before time coaching with me?
I reached out to Becca at the end of October. I had hit another burnout moment because I had overfilled my calendar yet again, and one more stressor was the hay that broke this camel's back.
I was overwhelmed with too many great opportunities and friends, and feeling guilty about declining any of them. Because I should be grateful for all I have, right?
I wanted to maintain good friendships. I wanted time to grow as an artist, take care of my house and cats, go on dates, and rejuvenate in solitude.
I work full-time plus part-time. I had no idea how to do it all or how to say No. I was starting to resent friends and invitations especially living in Los Angeles where things are happening all the time.
I felt like I was reacting to everything, and things stopped feeling fun. I started trying to say No, and I felt grief over being too tired to pursue certain opportunities, and while some friends were supportive, others felt threatened that I would spend less time with them.
I knew I couldn't handle it alone, so I started looking for time management coaches because I was feeling mad and conflicted about my calendar. I felt stuffy and agitated all the time.
What did you love about working together?
I discovered my guiding values, and I was surprised to find that they applied to literally everything in my life.
I opened up to Becca about every new challenge that came up in my life, I'd do the prompts she gave me, and as she'd listen to me process my experiences, she mirrored how all my hopes and fears led back to the same core values. Even when I thought it was a new situation, new problem, new people, new area of life. It all came back to Authenticity, Ease and Sharing My Joy.
I want to stay true to my values, always. And I want things to stay easeful. I want to rest. I want to work from a place of excitement and strength. I don't want to struggle and strain. I want to share what's true to me and find those who resonate with it, and nothing less.
Becca's ability to synthesize and cut to the heart of all my rambling thoughts is her superpower! When I would get into overthinking, she helped me come home to things I already said! And through experiencing the powerful way she listened to me and mirrored me, I learned to enjoy listening to myself and others more deeply than ever.
What has happened in your life or business since we worked together?
The stars aligned because I went through it all with Becca! I had holidays, got sick, needed to help my parents, fought with friends, job creep happened. Everything that could uproot all my perfect calendar plans happened. I was especially fixated on my relationships, whether to be on social media, and my creative calling.
By the time we were done, I had strengthened my boundaries and emotional regulation toolkit for when stress hit any random day or week. I no longer feel derailed when chaos happens. I just deepen into self-care first.
I was able to shift my intention for creativity so that I express myself as an extension of whatever self-care I need that week, instead of trying to push myself to come up with things to create on top of what I'm already doing.
I improved my relationships by creating more time for myself to rest and center so that I could fully show up as my best self for people.
At first, I feared that in order to make more time for creativity, I needed more solitary time than people time and that it would be a huge shift for the people in my life. I'm a people pleaser! Horrifying! But it turns out I needed more rest. I didn't have to choose between social and solo opportunities. By choosing rest, I was able to show up more fully for both.
I finished more paintings, wrote more, joined a book club, and I did all of it from a place of easygoing joy instead of panicked juggling.
Artist block and social resentment went away because I made more space to do nothing and feel zero pressure.
By giving myself more time to do nothing, to not have any obligations, it gave me the room to approach my active moments more gratefully and energetically. I did have to do a lot less than I was doing before. I do have to see people less often. I absolutely had to find a metric of success beyond an online presence. Now, I get more things done that matter to me with greater joy because I feel rested enough to gravitate towards what gives me meaning.
I'm spending time with people who are uplifting and uplifted when we're together, instead of seeing people because they "need" me to show up x number of times to be considered a true friend.
Right now, I'm experiencing job creep, and I still feel centered because I prioritize sustainable balanced work, rest and play. I am not about nonstop productivity or nonstop emotional labor. If it's not sustainable, it's not for me, and I will forge a new path creatively like I always do.
What do you think made those things (listed above) possible?
What helped me shift most was seeing myself as a whole person. I'm not just my passion or my role at work or to my loved ones. I'm also my health, my basic needs, my home, my sense of safety, my need to experiment and make mistakes and explore, my work ethic, a cat person. All of me needs care.
If I need to cut back on one area of my life, it's not because I'm failing. It's because I'm taking care of multiple parts of me.
I figured out the ratio of work, rest and play that make me happiest.
I figured out what types of play and rest do the most for me.
I figured out the type of work and social environments that enable me to thrive and give more.
I learned to trust the practice that when I'm relaxed and rested, I have so much more effortless energy than when I'm trying too hard. It felt really counterintuitive, as I'm so used to anxiously doing the most.
To know that I can be loved and enough by doing less is my healing journey.
The people who believe in overworking and overgiving are not going to come with me into my easefully abundant future.
What would you say to someone thinking about working with Becca?
Becca completely raised the bar for me of what to expect from a coach.
There are many life coaches out there who aren't going to fit you because they are selling you their results and their methods. If you want their life, then it's perfect. But what if you don't know what you want or if your desires keep changing from where you started? What if you don't know what methods will work for your unique brain and lifestyle? What if you want to do many things, in a world that keeps telling you to pick one habit and do it for 2 minutes daily? How does that add up to being a sustainably multipassionate person!
I love that Becca isn't trying to help me manage my time to be a creative spiritual entrepreneur. She helped me take care of my whole self so I can handle my many passions and stressors in a way that's more realistic to my life and personality.
And her approach isn't some mysteriously paywalled method. She takes the time to deeply hear your heart's aim and your rhythms, and to make your calendar match your truth and your everchanging reality. I think in this hectic world, it is a radical act to take the time to truly know ourselves. She'll give you that time.
Experience and enjoy balance in your own life.
Book a complimentary 30-min exploration call here.
3 Reasons why I no longer create quarter plans like I used to
How many times have you had so much you wanted to do, felt like you had to do it all immediately, and so just added it all to your plan?
Or have you ever made a plan, only to have life turn it upside down, leaving you lost and confused?
Yep, me too!
That’s one of the reasons I fell in love with quarterly planning.
I was tired of spinning my wheels trying to make progress towards my goals that seemed just out of reach.
If only I could find a way to focus, follow through, and control all of life’s curveballs.
That way was quarterly planning for me, circa 2018.
Now 4 years later, it’s time to share why I’m not planning in the same way anymore. Keep reading to find out!
What is quarterly planning?
If you aren’t familiar with quarterly planning, that’s ok! Quarterly planning simply asks you to think about and plan three months at a time, rather than a whole year or more.
When you break your year down into four pieces, it’s a lot easier to prioritize projects allowing you to stay flexible, focused, and more easily make progress.
What role did a quarterly plan play in my success?
When I first read 12 Week Year by Brian Moran in 2017, I was blown away.
At that time in my life, I was working an engineering job full time, teaching yoga part-time, planning my own wedding, and starting my own online yoga business. Just writing that out exhausts me.
I quite frankly had too much I wanted to do, and I felt like I had to do it all yesterday.
Quarterly planning allowed me to list out everything I wanted to do, and then attempt to prioritize.
Don’t be fooled, I continued to start every quarter with more than the recommended amount of priorities.
While I continued to do more than I realistically could, I was making progress faster because I was saying no to some things.
Looking back, quarterly planning helped me start to learn how to focus my time on the things that would actually move the needle.
Instead of buying course after course, I filled my time with what would actually grow my business: consult calls, coaching sessions, and networking.
Quarter planning was a major tool that created the momentum I needed to quit my 9-5, become a digital nomad, devote time to my relationships and my personal growth, and just live my life!
Then, once I started The Holistic time Coach, I was also able to put my own spin on quarterly planning and teach it to others.
Long story short: Quarterly planning, more specifically the often impossible skill of prioritizing played a major role in my success.
However, now 4 years after implementing quarterly planning in my life and business, I don’t need it in the same ways.
Whether you’re currently where I used to be and really need to prioritize better or you got that down and you’re trying to figure out what’s next, here are some of my thoughts:
Why I don’t create quarter plans like I used to
I deeply know my capacity, limits, and boundaries now
As I mentioned above, quarterly planning helped me put less on my plate than I naturally would have.
I now know tangibly how much I can put on my plate before I disturb my physical, mental, emotional, and/or spiritual health (my definition of capacity).
I don’t limit myself to 3 priorities, and I don’t need 3 priorities every quarter. I tune into myself and create a quarter plan that honors me instead of following someone else’s guidelines.
I also now generally put wayyy less on my plate. I look at projects and goals with a more realistic lens. I know what to say no to and have the skills to do that. And that’s helped me be more effective and live more authentically.
I trust myself more to (actually) follow my plans
I used to make a quarter plan that was a super detailed broken down action plan every month and every week. I also had a tracker to score and grade myself. (BLEGH!)
What ended up happening? I would never actually follow to detailed plans I would spend days creating, and never actually tracked my actions. It was too much for someone with already too much on their plate.
Looking back, I realize I didn’t really trust myself. I thought I had to do #allthethings in order to achieve my goals, so I could finally be happy. And more so, deeper down I really didn’t believe I could follow through, and so I proved myself right every quarter.
Until something clicked (more self-trust was the answer), I continued to make strict, rigid, detailed plans set up to fail me.
I can now trust that when I say I’ll do something, I’ll actually do it. I keep my word to myself, and follow through with the things that are deeply meaningful to me.
This has made my quarter plans more relaxed, open, flow-ey, and spacious helping me feel that through the day-to-day.
I simplified my life
I no longer have a job to balance while building my business. I’m able to focus on just me and my business… because I focused, made the most of my time, and took action.
I simplified my life in so many ways. I no longer have all these habits and external goals I’m constantly striving towards. Deep down in my heart, I feel more complete and content than I ever have.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m still constantly growing and healing. But there is a difference between that and setting a ton of goals and believing I’ll be happier once I achieve all of them.
I know it sounds cheesy, but I genuinely go with the flow and am open to whatever opportunities the universe presents to me. And lucky for me, I have the space and time to listen! My quarterly planning reflect these beliefs.
Where to go from here?
If you’re reading this, you might be thinking to yourself, “now what?” The beautiful thing about that is you get to decide!
If you have a ton on your plate, and you don’t want to feel stressed and overwhelmed all the time anymore, quarterly planning can really help you.
I invite you to check out my holistic quarterly planning worksheet.
If figuring out what a life of knowing yourself better, trusting yourself more, and enjoying a slow, peaceful yet ambitious life is important to you, learn more about working with me one-on-one.
I’d love to hear more about what you’re going through and if I can support you in discovering a new way of moving through the world.
This one small change can make a big difference in your life
When you’re struggling to stay afloat, it’s extremely difficult to make changes.
However, in order to get out of that place, change is non-negotiable.
It’s the conundrum of the dog chasing its own tail.
How do you figure out what change will make the biggest difference?
How do you trust the change you’re making is the right one?
That’s what Jennifer and I’s work together really answered for her.
One of the biggest benefits of getting a coach is talking to someone else from a different place physically, mentally, and emotionally.
As Jennifer’s time coach, I offered a calming and pressure-free space for her to identify the tiny (almost invisible) shifts she needed to make great progress… and she did!
Read more about her journey below and how focusing on just how she used her time made a HUGE difference in her life.
Tell us who you are and what you do.
Hi! I’m Jennifer Garcia, Career Coach & Resume Writer. Best Resume Coach
What was your business and life like before time coaching with me?
I was struggling with staying afloat. I wasn't using my time in the business to move it forward only to barely sustain it.
I felt like I was constantly spinning my wheels and feeling burnt out and, honestly, hopeless.
I wanted to quit my business because I had no time for family or self-care.
You helped me change all that!
What did you love about working together?
I loved how our sessions were so calming! I honestly didn't expect that from a time management/productivity coach.
I expected it to be regimented and clear-cut. While you helped me have a clear vision, you never ever told me what to do or "should" do.
You gave me nudges in the right direction and encouraged me to learn and grow at my own pace. It was beautiful! Really.
I loved how I never felt pressured to get things done. I was already giving that kind of pressure to myself a lot. It was SO reassuring to come into a session with Becca, breathe together, and then trust that by making tiny (almost invisible) shifts I was going to make great progress. and I did! We did it together! That was so cool!
THANK YOU!!
I feel like the tools I have learned now can last me forever. You're so gifted as a coach and strong as a leader. I am so happy and thankful to work with you.
What has happened in your life or business since we worked together?
On month 1, week 1 I felt really skeptical (another thing I'm gonna fizzle out on). By month 2 I had some momentum. By month 3, I was pleasantly surprised to have reached my biggest goal!!
You helped me create more momentum and bring in more money in my business. It was really quite magical!
My business generated my monthly goal as a stay-at-home mom and part-time worker.
In my life, I have been calmer and let go of the anger and fears that held me back before.
I have time for rest, and better freaking sleep!! I am sleeping in now and not regretting it. I don’t feel behind or judgmental first thing when I wake up.
Better physical health, a better marital relationship, and better family relationships with my kids and with my siblings, parents, and friends.
I also have a better relationship with myself! I am now so much kinder to myself.
What do you think made those things (listed above) possible?
Trust and faith.
I had to believe in you and trust that you are capable and leading me on the right path to success. But ultimately, learning to trust myself and my own intuition. Being more open to (and ready for) having joy and fun in my life.