Case Study: How to achieve work-life balance that is real & sustainable
I hear time and time again that work-life balance isn’t real or possible to achieve.
And I totally get that. As a multi-passionate/dimensional human…having time for everything that’s important to us isn’t easy in the society we live in.
While I won’t get into society’s failings here, I will say that there are many things we can do as individuals to make the juggling act easier for ourselves.
In this blog post, one of my clients Talon will delve into what helped them achieve work-life balance. Hint: It’s not another hack.
Rather than temporary solutions, we explored the ratio of work, rest and play that makes them the happiest, what types of play and rest are the best, the type of work and social environments that enable them to thrive and give more, and so much more.
Together, we uncovered how to best spend their time to be well and accomplish everything they need and want as a full-time and part-time jobber, creative, partner, and cat parent.
We made work-life balance real, and sustainable.
Tell us who you are and what you do.
Talon Tuong. Property manager & accountant, fantasy writer, mixed media artist, tarot reader, and cat parent
What was your life like before time coaching with me?
I reached out to Becca at the end of October. I had hit another burnout moment because I had overfilled my calendar yet again, and one more stressor was the hay that broke this camel's back.
I was overwhelmed with too many great opportunities and friends, and feeling guilty about declining any of them. Because I should be grateful for all I have, right?
I wanted to maintain good friendships. I wanted time to grow as an artist, take care of my house and cats, go on dates, and rejuvenate in solitude.
I work full-time plus part-time. I had no idea how to do it all or how to say No. I was starting to resent friends and invitations especially living in Los Angeles where things are happening all the time.
I felt like I was reacting to everything, and things stopped feeling fun. I started trying to say No, and I felt grief over being too tired to pursue certain opportunities, and while some friends were supportive, others felt threatened that I would spend less time with them.
I knew I couldn't handle it alone, so I started looking for time management coaches because I was feeling mad and conflicted about my calendar. I felt stuffy and agitated all the time.
What did you love about working together?
I discovered my guiding values, and I was surprised to find that they applied to literally everything in my life.
I opened up to Becca about every new challenge that came up in my life, I'd do the prompts she gave me, and as she'd listen to me process my experiences, she mirrored how all my hopes and fears led back to the same core values. Even when I thought it was a new situation, new problem, new people, new area of life. It all came back to Authenticity, Ease and Sharing My Joy.
I want to stay true to my values, always. And I want things to stay easeful. I want to rest. I want to work from a place of excitement and strength. I don't want to struggle and strain. I want to share what's true to me and find those who resonate with it, and nothing less.
Becca's ability to synthesize and cut to the heart of all my rambling thoughts is her superpower! When I would get into overthinking, she helped me come home to things I already said! And through experiencing the powerful way she listened to me and mirrored me, I learned to enjoy listening to myself and others more deeply than ever.
What has happened in your life or business since we worked together?
The stars aligned because I went through it all with Becca! I had holidays, got sick, needed to help my parents, fought with friends, job creep happened. Everything that could uproot all my perfect calendar plans happened. I was especially fixated on my relationships, whether to be on social media, and my creative calling.
By the time we were done, I had strengthened my boundaries and emotional regulation toolkit for when stress hit any random day or week. I no longer feel derailed when chaos happens. I just deepen into self-care first.
I was able to shift my intention for creativity so that I express myself as an extension of whatever self-care I need that week, instead of trying to push myself to come up with things to create on top of what I'm already doing.
I improved my relationships by creating more time for myself to rest and center so that I could fully show up as my best self for people.
At first, I feared that in order to make more time for creativity, I needed more solitary time than people time and that it would be a huge shift for the people in my life. I'm a people pleaser! Horrifying! But it turns out I needed more rest. I didn't have to choose between social and solo opportunities. By choosing rest, I was able to show up more fully for both.
I finished more paintings, wrote more, joined a book club, and I did all of it from a place of easygoing joy instead of panicked juggling.
Artist block and social resentment went away because I made more space to do nothing and feel zero pressure.
By giving myself more time to do nothing, to not have any obligations, it gave me the room to approach my active moments more gratefully and energetically. I did have to do a lot less than I was doing before. I do have to see people less often. I absolutely had to find a metric of success beyond an online presence. Now, I get more things done that matter to me with greater joy because I feel rested enough to gravitate towards what gives me meaning.
I'm spending time with people who are uplifting and uplifted when we're together, instead of seeing people because they "need" me to show up x number of times to be considered a true friend.
Right now, I'm experiencing job creep, and I still feel centered because I prioritize sustainable balanced work, rest and play. I am not about nonstop productivity or nonstop emotional labor. If it's not sustainable, it's not for me, and I will forge a new path creatively like I always do.
What do you think made those things (listed above) possible?
What helped me shift most was seeing myself as a whole person. I'm not just my passion or my role at work or to my loved ones. I'm also my health, my basic needs, my home, my sense of safety, my need to experiment and make mistakes and explore, my work ethic, a cat person. All of me needs care.
If I need to cut back on one area of my life, it's not because I'm failing. It's because I'm taking care of multiple parts of me.
I figured out the ratio of work, rest and play that make me happiest.
I figured out what types of play and rest do the most for me.
I figured out the type of work and social environments that enable me to thrive and give more.
I learned to trust the practice that when I'm relaxed and rested, I have so much more effortless energy than when I'm trying too hard. It felt really counterintuitive, as I'm so used to anxiously doing the most.
To know that I can be loved and enough by doing less is my healing journey.
The people who believe in overworking and overgiving are not going to come with me into my easefully abundant future.
What would you say to someone thinking about working with Becca?
Becca completely raised the bar for me of what to expect from a coach.
There are many life coaches out there who aren't going to fit you because they are selling you their results and their methods. If you want their life, then it's perfect. But what if you don't know what you want or if your desires keep changing from where you started? What if you don't know what methods will work for your unique brain and lifestyle? What if you want to do many things, in a world that keeps telling you to pick one habit and do it for 2 minutes daily? How does that add up to being a sustainably multipassionate person!
I love that Becca isn't trying to help me manage my time to be a creative spiritual entrepreneur. She helped me take care of my whole self so I can handle my many passions and stressors in a way that's more realistic to my life and personality.
And her approach isn't some mysteriously paywalled method. She takes the time to deeply hear your heart's aim and your rhythms, and to make your calendar match your truth and your everchanging reality. I think in this hectic world, it is a radical act to take the time to truly know ourselves. She'll give you that time.
Experience and enjoy balance in your own life.
Book a complimentary 30-min exploration call here.
Partner Works Too Much? Why & What To Do About It
My partner means so much to me. We just celebrated four years (watch this short montage reel I created!) of marriage and it still feels like we’re in the honeymoon phase most days.
I credit much of the strength of our relationship to the healing and growth work I’ve done around time, worth, and success.
Why?
Simply put, time is your life. Time is your presence. And it’s how you show love.
Before I started healing my own misunderstandings around time... I spend most of it working. Not just on my “work-work”. I was always going and doing things.
Without checking everything off my to-do list and successfully achieving all my goals, I didn’t feel deserving of love or partnership.
Where did this leave me? Us?
While I cherished my relationship, it was suffering because of my inability to be with him. I rarely sat still long enough to form a real and deep connection with myself, let alone my partner.
Cue all the frustration, resentment, and guilt.
I created this blog for those of us craving more presence with our partners, our kids, our family members, or even ourselves. Keep reading for an inside look at making time for loved ones, because it is possible to have time for everything that’s important to you. And holistic time management can help get you there.
How do you know if you or your partner works too much?
These are the signs that I personally experience, and my clients’ experience, when we’re not making time for our loved ones.
Frustration, resentment, and/or guilt towards self or partner.
Feeling physically, mentally, or emotionally disconnected from your partner.
Never having time to cook and enjoy meals together.
Feeling unbalanced in domestic duties.
Struggling to not talk about work when you aren’t working.
Any successes you do have feel empty.
Think of something else I haven’t included in the list above? Feel free to share your unique experience in the comments below - who knows, others might be in the same spot.
Why is it so difficult to make time for our partners? We love them!
If your partner works too much or you find it difficult to make time for your partner... You are not alone.
As a time coach, an extremely common goal of my clients is to have more time for their loved ones. They want to know, “why is it so hard to make time for the people I love?”
Often it’s not about a lack of love. It’s because we’ve been taught to place more value on work, money (especially if we’re in survival mode), and success.
Many people label time with loved ones as rest, time off, and/or self-care. As we know, those are some of the most challenging things to actually have time for. We have to flip this inherent prioritization in order to reclaim our time.
If you’re a business owner, this feeling can compound even more. Our businesses feel like our babies in a way, taking time away from them feels impossible. Businesses that are passion-led and mission-based are deeply connected to our purpose.
Want to read more about the truth about the difficulty of taking time off? Click here.
What to do if you or your partner works too much?
The answer to this is a complex one. Because you and your relationships are unique, giving tips and advice doesn’t feel all that useful here.
The best thing I can offer are these three coaching questions:
Is making time for your loved one important to you?
If so, why? What will happen in your life if you make more time for them?
What is ONE small thing you can implement today to be more present with them? Some steps could look like:
Pause and take a deep breath (or three).
Setting clear expectations with your partner about how you spend your days.
Discover and focus on doing the things you both love to do together.
Heal any limiting beliefs around what’s preventing you from making time for them and being present.
Create time management systems to make the time actually happen. For example, a shared calendar to more openly communicate your schedules. In my Sustainable Schedule VIP Day, I’ve worked with clients to create shared calendars with their partners, for their kids, and a co-parenting schedule. Learn more here.
Adopt a practice mindset where it’s okay to mess up and fail sometimes.
Recognizing the little moments throughout the day.
Notice a trend in all these steps above? They’re all related to time management.
Why time management is so important for good relationships
Simply put, time is your life. Time is your presence. And it’s how you show love.
It’s also how you make money, pay your bills, and find fulfillment in your life.
Making time for everything that’s important and meaningful to you is no doubt a juggling act. I’ll be the first to say it is a constant work in progress. (Yes, even for me… a time coach).
Time management is the most important thing you can focus on because when you effectively accomplish everything you need to, tasks don’t bleed over into your time with your loved ones.
You can relax and enjoy the company of your people without feeling guilty (HUGE!)
When you prioritize and dedicate time and energy to your relationship, it will flourish.
If you are able to tap into the present moment when you’re with your partner, it’ll be a lot easier to feel connected and loved.
The opposite is also true. When you don’t spend time with the people that mean the most to you, the relationship will suffer in some way. Learn more about the benefits of rethinking how you manage your time.
Holistic Time Management is your best bet for making time for loved ones
Traditional time management focuses on helping you be your most productive self at work, sometimes at home. When you set goals, create a schedule, or write a to-do list… it’s rarely encouraged or taught to include things like rest, time off, and/or self-care.
If we equate our relationships with those things, it makes complete sense to me that they don’t happen as often as we’d like them to.
Holistic time management understands the entire scope of your life and what’s most important to you, like your relationships. Managing your time with a holistic approach will allow you to be a whole human being.
Learn more about why holistic time management works so well here.
Want your evenings back to spend with your partner (not thinking about work?)
Learn more about 1:1 holistic time coaching.
This one small change can make a big difference in your life
When you’re struggling to stay afloat, it’s extremely difficult to make changes.
However, in order to get out of that place, change is non-negotiable.
It’s the conundrum of the dog chasing its own tail.
How do you figure out what change will make the biggest difference?
How do you trust the change you’re making is the right one?
That’s what Jennifer and I’s work together really answered for her.
One of the biggest benefits of getting a coach is talking to someone else from a different place physically, mentally, and emotionally.
As Jennifer’s time coach, I offered a calming and pressure-free space for her to identify the tiny (almost invisible) shifts she needed to make great progress… and she did!
Read more about her journey below and how focusing on just how she used her time made a HUGE difference in her life.
Tell us who you are and what you do.
Hi! I’m Jennifer Garcia, Career Coach & Resume Writer. Best Resume Coach
What was your business and life like before time coaching with me?
I was struggling with staying afloat. I wasn't using my time in the business to move it forward only to barely sustain it.
I felt like I was constantly spinning my wheels and feeling burnt out and, honestly, hopeless.
I wanted to quit my business because I had no time for family or self-care.
You helped me change all that!
What did you love about working together?
I loved how our sessions were so calming! I honestly didn't expect that from a time management/productivity coach.
I expected it to be regimented and clear-cut. While you helped me have a clear vision, you never ever told me what to do or "should" do.
You gave me nudges in the right direction and encouraged me to learn and grow at my own pace. It was beautiful! Really.
I loved how I never felt pressured to get things done. I was already giving that kind of pressure to myself a lot. It was SO reassuring to come into a session with Becca, breathe together, and then trust that by making tiny (almost invisible) shifts I was going to make great progress. and I did! We did it together! That was so cool!
THANK YOU!!
I feel like the tools I have learned now can last me forever. You're so gifted as a coach and strong as a leader. I am so happy and thankful to work with you.
What has happened in your life or business since we worked together?
On month 1, week 1 I felt really skeptical (another thing I'm gonna fizzle out on). By month 2 I had some momentum. By month 3, I was pleasantly surprised to have reached my biggest goal!!
You helped me create more momentum and bring in more money in my business. It was really quite magical!
My business generated my monthly goal as a stay-at-home mom and part-time worker.
In my life, I have been calmer and let go of the anger and fears that held me back before.
I have time for rest, and better freaking sleep!! I am sleeping in now and not regretting it. I don’t feel behind or judgmental first thing when I wake up.
Better physical health, a better marital relationship, and better family relationships with my kids and with my siblings, parents, and friends.
I also have a better relationship with myself! I am now so much kinder to myself.
What do you think made those things (listed above) possible?
Trust and faith.
I had to believe in you and trust that you are capable and leading me on the right path to success. But ultimately, learning to trust myself and my own intuition. Being more open to (and ready for) having joy and fun in my life.
See yourself in Jennifer’s story and feel ready to see similar changes in your life? Click here to schedule a pressure-free consult call now.
How to Delegate So You Fall In Love with Your Business Again
It’s exciting starting and growing your own business, isn’t it? It’s an opportunity to create something exactly as you envision it.
No one is there to tell you what to do or how to do it. It’s your baby to nurture and develop and give you the freedom to be yourself.
But all too often, reality sets in. And it’s not always a great reality. Your baby is demanding. There are so many things to do.
So many behind-the-scenes tasks it takes to run a business that you weren’t exactly thinking about when you pursued your passion.
Tasks that aren’t necessarily in your zone of genius and are taking way longer than you know they should.
So there you are with this amazing thing you’ve created, but you’re tired. You’re stressed, you’re overwhelmed, you’re headed for burnout (or maybe you’re already there), and you might even feel like shutting it all down.
If it’s any comfort telling you you’re not alone, please know that is true. I’ve seen it time and again with the business owners I work with.
So many of us are extremely capable and could probably win a multi-tasking contest if there was such a thing. We figure, hey, I’m great at getting lots of things done, so that’s what I’ll do in my business - all the things.
But guess what? Doing everything in your business is exactly what you should not be doing. In this post, I’ll be stepping you through a simple delegation process that I take my clients through.
Written by: Cory Zacker
Learning how to delegate
The key to a successful business that can grow and flourish is learning how to delegate. If you get clear on the tasks you love doing most (and that light you up) and get even more clear on the things that drain you, you’ll be well on your way to improving your delegation skills.
And hear me when I tell you this: assigning tasks to someone else does not mean you’re any less worthy. It does not mean you’re lazy or incompetent or less than. It means you understand what you do best and are willing to entrust someone else with those things you want to let go of. That’s a big part of the mindset of delegating and something I encourage you to embrace.
Assigning tasks to someone else
So how do you get clarity on what exactly you want to pass on to someone else? I like to use a simple strategy I call the Yea, Nay, Give Away exercise. It’s concise, clear, and will probably take no more than 15 minutes to complete.
Make three columns on a piece of paper (or a document on your computer) and label them Yea, Nay, and Give Away.
Yea
In the Yea column, list those things you love doing in your business. The tasks that energize you and come easy. For me it’s face-to-face client work, networking with colleagues, and writing. Those are three of the things that light me up.
Nay
In the Nay column, list the ones that take too much time and sap your energy. Things you might not be that great at and resent spending your time doing. (Remember, you might add a few personal things in this column that are taking you away from your business, e.g., cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc.)
This one is easy for me. Numbers are important in any business, but they’re just not my thing. I pay attention to them, but I don’t want to spend time doing my bookkeeping and accounting myself. It doesn’t come naturally to me and it takes way too much time.
Give Away
Then in the Give Away column, choose some items from the Nay list that you can either get rid of altogether or delegate to someone else. (Hello, accountant!)
Once you have your Give Away items, take a good look at them and figure out who or what can help you. Would hiring a virtual assistant for a few hours a week take care of some of those tasks? Or maybe a babysitter/mother’s helper can tick a few of those boxes. Can a bookkeeper take over your billing? Or maybe a tech person could set up automation for you.
Why delegating actually makes you money
When you get clarity on what you need and who can help you, delegating doesn’t seem so hard. I’ve seen just a few hours a week of hiring help make a huge difference in someone’s business.
Take Sherri - an amazing woman I know with a hugely successful business. She was doing everything herself and was overworked and overwhelmed. Once we figured out who she needed to hire and what tasks she was going to delegate, Sherri had way more time to nurture her current clients and find new ones. Within a month of hiring a project manager, she was able to sign a new client who paid 5x what Sherri was paying her new team member. So delegating actually made her money.
What assigning tasks to others can do for you
So what does delegating in your business bring you?
Time - sweet, delicious, abundant time just for you. Time to not only rest and recharge, but to do what you love doing (remember that Yea list?).
Growth - yup, it’s true. With more time on your hands, you’ll be able to nurture your leads, create new offers, and reach more potential clients. I’ve seen it happen.
Peace of mind - fewer tasks equals less stress. Less stress equals a calmer you.
You created your business out of passion. So I’m inviting you to take some time to make more time for this thing you love. And more time to step away from it when you need to. (And it’s okay to need to.)
Let’s try to eliminate the word solopreneur, shall we? There’s no reason to do it all by yourself and learning how to delegate is the key to falling back in love with your business.
Want to feel confident, in control, and at peace with your time? Click here to get free + supportive resources!
About the contributor
Cory Zacker is a business consultant and strategist, as well as a certified Positive Psychology coach. She helps brilliant service providers grow, nurture, and manage their business with personalized growth strategies and business mindset coaching. With over 20 years of entrepreneurial experience, Cory uses her business wisdom plus her warmth and humor to help entrepreneurs align with their core values, simplify their systems, and manage and grow their teams all while reducing the stress and overwhelm of growing their thriving business.
5 Telltale signs you are awesome at managing your time
Have you ever wondered if you spend your time in the best way possible?
In this post, I'm going to share with you five signs that prove you're awesome at managing your time and you're using it in the best way possible!
So hopefully you can take a deep breath, relax, and finally feel like enough, or have specific things that you can work on and maybe get some clarity on how to do that.
You get (mostly) everything done!
Sign number one that you are awesome at managing your time is that you get (mostly) everything done on your to-do list. This one may be an obvious one but let me explain, it's a really great sign that you manage your time when you get everything on your to-do list done but not at the expense of yourself and your life.
In order to get everything on your to-do list done and still enjoy your life, you put a realistic amount of tasks on your to-do list. Therefore, you get (mostly) all of them done. This means that you don't really struggle with procrastination or perfectionism.
And when you make a to-do list you are grounded in reality, so you know how long tasks take you. You aren't really into over-scheduling yourself, which is amazing, because so many people tend to over-schedule their life!
The flip side of that coin is, you tend to over-schedule yourself and you put a ton of stuff on your to-do list. You start working and things take way longer than you think they're going to take. You end up frustrated at the end of the week because you only got one or two things done from your massive to-do list.
I talk about this in another video but this means that you are most likely stuck in a to-do list shame cycle. So if you are stuck, start by putting less on your to-do list.
You can say no and delegate tasks
The second sign that you are managing your time awesomely is that you can say no and delegate tasks to other people. Saying no to the things that you don't want to do, or things that are not at the top of your priority list is huge! As goal-getters, or high-achieving people, it is hard to say no. Especially when you have tons of creativity, energy, and passion.
So, it means that you have a good grasp of what is important to you, your values, and the big picture of what you're trying to create in this world. It also means that you can set boundaries, which again, is huge.
The opposite, as you can probably imagine, is saying yes to all the things and having trouble delegating.
I totally get it, it's hard to say no, boundaries feel kind of mean and harsh. So, if this is you then just start with something super small. What can you delegate to someone else that you don't need to do? Or, what are you saying yes to that you don't really want to do? That's really all that needs to be done, just start prioritizing.
You can prioritize all your projects/goals
The third sign that you are awesome at managing your time is you prioritize the many, many projects that you are currently working on. Or, goals, dreams, and shifts that you want to make happen in your life. Speaking of the big picture, when you know your vision, your goals, and the things that you want to make happen in your life, you are able to prioritize what's most important to you and say no to the rest.
You are able to put a few projects on the front burner, and then everything else you're able to let go of until you have more time and space to do them because, I know you, I know you have tons of passion. I know you have tons of ideas, you are brilliant and you want so many things to come to life in your business and in your personal life.
So, it's really easy to work on all of those things at once. Don't get me wrong, I am a huge fan of being multi-passionate. I am as well, I think it's important to have many different projects that you're working on, to switch between and to refill your cup. But, when you have too many projects, goals, and things that you're working on at once, then you're overwhelmed, scattered, and stretched thin.
That's not really a great sign that you're managing your time but, if you are doing that, I just want to say it's okay. There are things that you can do, so if this is you the action step that I would suggest is writing out all of the projects that you are working on currently, all of the goals, all the habits, all the routines, all the things that you're trying to do, change and be in your life. Take a look at that list and just pick three. I say “just” like it's simple, it's not simple, I want to honor that it's not simple but, I know you can do it.
I know that you know, you can focus on three priorities max for a month, or even just start with a week. Start there.
You can take time off
So the fourth sign that you are amazing at managing your time is you can take time off, you have hobbies and creative outlets. It is always a great sign to me, when high achieving people and entrepreneurs have things that they can do on the side that doesn't have an end goal, doesn't have a return on investment, it's just something to get your energy up, to refill your cup, to find joy and just have fun.
I also want to add that they are non-negotiable. So it's not just things that you do every once while when you have time. It's things that are built into your routine, like self-care habits that are just non-negotiable, that they just happen.
It is so important to take time away from work and your projects. A great example of why this is also important for business is, the other day I had a client who had like the best idea ever while washing dishes. It is so important for your brain to just let go and have space.
The flip side of this is, you have a really hard time stepping away from work. You don't really have things that don't turn into side hustles or extra businesses or extra leg of the business. There's nothing wrong with that either but, when everything in your life has an end goal, end result, return on investment type mindset, then there's less play, there's less creativity, there's less enjoyment.
I bet that you value enjoyment and finding joy in your life so, the action step here is, just take a few minutes a day off of work. This can literally be anything, it could just be watching the clouds, it could be watching Netflix. I don't care what you do but, take some time off and maybe pick up a drawing class or a pottery class and just do something for fun. Have fun!
You value your human-ness!
The fifth sign that you are amazing at managing your time comes from an acronym that I just think is brilliant. It is called HALT and stands for “hungry, angry, lonely, tired”. This is probably the most important sign of them all, you are amazing at managing your time if you attend to your humanly needs.
So, when you're hungry, when you are lonely, when you are tired, when you are angry, when you have feelings about anything, you don't push yourself. You don't hustle, you don't grind, you take time off to honor those feelings, to refill your cup. Are you sensing a pattern to refill your cup?
You are able to use the bathroom when you need to go to the bathroom instead of continuing to work for two more hours! You go and eat lunch, breakfast, dinner, and all the meals and snacks. You call up a friend and hang out with a friend when you need some connection, anything that you feel like a human, you can attend to.
Speaking of being human, you are compassionate towards yourself. Like we talked about earlier, if you are stuck in a to-do list shame cycle, you don't beat yourself up, you are compassionate towards yourself. Even if you don't complete everything, you celebrate yourself, you tell yourself “good job” and you understand that you are human.
So the flip side of this is, if you feel like you are a robot, you beat yourself up for not being perfect 100% of the time. If you put your work and your to-do list over being human, that is a huge red flag in my opinion.
There is something that you can do about it, take time off, rest, take care of yourself. Maybe even schedule in time to just check in with yourself every single day and honor that. This sign is like I said, the most important and it's also one that just takes time to fully integrate.
Speaking of being human, just to reiterate, you could not be perfect at managing your time either. None of these things are black and white, they are moment to moment type things. You can get your to-do list done and be realistic one week and then the other week you want to do so much.
This is all an experiment, we're all throwing spaghetti at the wall together. So keep doing your best, keep celebrating you, keep celebrating your humanness, and comment below what makes you feel like you manage your time really well? I would love to hear it!