Case Study: How to achieve work-life balance that is real & sustainable
I hear time and time again that work-life balance isn’t real or possible to achieve.
And I totally get that. As a multi-passionate/dimensional human…having time for everything that’s important to us isn’t easy in the society we live in.
While I won’t get into society’s failings here, I will say that there are many things we can do as individuals to make the juggling act easier for ourselves.
In this blog post, one of my clients Talon will delve into what helped them achieve work-life balance. Hint: It’s not another hack.
Rather than temporary solutions, we explored the ratio of work, rest and play that makes them the happiest, what types of play and rest are the best, the type of work and social environments that enable them to thrive and give more, and so much more.
Together, we uncovered how to best spend their time to be well and accomplish everything they need and want as a full-time and part-time jobber, creative, partner, and cat parent.
We made work-life balance real, and sustainable.
Tell us who you are and what you do.
Talon Tuong. Property manager & accountant, fantasy writer, mixed media artist, tarot reader, and cat parent
What was your life like before time coaching with me?
I reached out to Becca at the end of October. I had hit another burnout moment because I had overfilled my calendar yet again, and one more stressor was the hay that broke this camel's back.
I was overwhelmed with too many great opportunities and friends, and feeling guilty about declining any of them. Because I should be grateful for all I have, right?
I wanted to maintain good friendships. I wanted time to grow as an artist, take care of my house and cats, go on dates, and rejuvenate in solitude.
I work full-time plus part-time. I had no idea how to do it all or how to say No. I was starting to resent friends and invitations especially living in Los Angeles where things are happening all the time.
I felt like I was reacting to everything, and things stopped feeling fun. I started trying to say No, and I felt grief over being too tired to pursue certain opportunities, and while some friends were supportive, others felt threatened that I would spend less time with them.
I knew I couldn't handle it alone, so I started looking for time management coaches because I was feeling mad and conflicted about my calendar. I felt stuffy and agitated all the time.
What did you love about working together?
I discovered my guiding values, and I was surprised to find that they applied to literally everything in my life.
I opened up to Becca about every new challenge that came up in my life, I'd do the prompts she gave me, and as she'd listen to me process my experiences, she mirrored how all my hopes and fears led back to the same core values. Even when I thought it was a new situation, new problem, new people, new area of life. It all came back to Authenticity, Ease and Sharing My Joy.
I want to stay true to my values, always. And I want things to stay easeful. I want to rest. I want to work from a place of excitement and strength. I don't want to struggle and strain. I want to share what's true to me and find those who resonate with it, and nothing less.
Becca's ability to synthesize and cut to the heart of all my rambling thoughts is her superpower! When I would get into overthinking, she helped me come home to things I already said! And through experiencing the powerful way she listened to me and mirrored me, I learned to enjoy listening to myself and others more deeply than ever.
What has happened in your life or business since we worked together?
The stars aligned because I went through it all with Becca! I had holidays, got sick, needed to help my parents, fought with friends, job creep happened. Everything that could uproot all my perfect calendar plans happened. I was especially fixated on my relationships, whether to be on social media, and my creative calling.
By the time we were done, I had strengthened my boundaries and emotional regulation toolkit for when stress hit any random day or week. I no longer feel derailed when chaos happens. I just deepen into self-care first.
I was able to shift my intention for creativity so that I express myself as an extension of whatever self-care I need that week, instead of trying to push myself to come up with things to create on top of what I'm already doing.
I improved my relationships by creating more time for myself to rest and center so that I could fully show up as my best self for people.
At first, I feared that in order to make more time for creativity, I needed more solitary time than people time and that it would be a huge shift for the people in my life. I'm a people pleaser! Horrifying! But it turns out I needed more rest. I didn't have to choose between social and solo opportunities. By choosing rest, I was able to show up more fully for both.
I finished more paintings, wrote more, joined a book club, and I did all of it from a place of easygoing joy instead of panicked juggling.
Artist block and social resentment went away because I made more space to do nothing and feel zero pressure.
By giving myself more time to do nothing, to not have any obligations, it gave me the room to approach my active moments more gratefully and energetically. I did have to do a lot less than I was doing before. I do have to see people less often. I absolutely had to find a metric of success beyond an online presence. Now, I get more things done that matter to me with greater joy because I feel rested enough to gravitate towards what gives me meaning.
I'm spending time with people who are uplifting and uplifted when we're together, instead of seeing people because they "need" me to show up x number of times to be considered a true friend.
Right now, I'm experiencing job creep, and I still feel centered because I prioritize sustainable balanced work, rest and play. I am not about nonstop productivity or nonstop emotional labor. If it's not sustainable, it's not for me, and I will forge a new path creatively like I always do.
What do you think made those things (listed above) possible?
What helped me shift most was seeing myself as a whole person. I'm not just my passion or my role at work or to my loved ones. I'm also my health, my basic needs, my home, my sense of safety, my need to experiment and make mistakes and explore, my work ethic, a cat person. All of me needs care.
If I need to cut back on one area of my life, it's not because I'm failing. It's because I'm taking care of multiple parts of me.
I figured out the ratio of work, rest and play that make me happiest.
I figured out what types of play and rest do the most for me.
I figured out the type of work and social environments that enable me to thrive and give more.
I learned to trust the practice that when I'm relaxed and rested, I have so much more effortless energy than when I'm trying too hard. It felt really counterintuitive, as I'm so used to anxiously doing the most.
To know that I can be loved and enough by doing less is my healing journey.
The people who believe in overworking and overgiving are not going to come with me into my easefully abundant future.
What would you say to someone thinking about working with Becca?
Becca completely raised the bar for me of what to expect from a coach.
There are many life coaches out there who aren't going to fit you because they are selling you their results and their methods. If you want their life, then it's perfect. But what if you don't know what you want or if your desires keep changing from where you started? What if you don't know what methods will work for your unique brain and lifestyle? What if you want to do many things, in a world that keeps telling you to pick one habit and do it for 2 minutes daily? How does that add up to being a sustainably multipassionate person!
I love that Becca isn't trying to help me manage my time to be a creative spiritual entrepreneur. She helped me take care of my whole self so I can handle my many passions and stressors in a way that's more realistic to my life and personality.
And her approach isn't some mysteriously paywalled method. She takes the time to deeply hear your heart's aim and your rhythms, and to make your calendar match your truth and your everchanging reality. I think in this hectic world, it is a radical act to take the time to truly know ourselves. She'll give you that time.
Experience and enjoy balance in your own life.
Book a complimentary 30-min exploration call here.
Why a holistic approach to time management is so powerful
Feel like you're constantly running on a hamster wheel, with time slipping away faster than you can catch up?
Are you struggling to juggle all of your responsibilities, while also trying to make time for the things that matter most to you?
If so, I hear you. And you’re not alone.
In our world which is full of distractions and pressures, being intentional with your time is more important than ever.
But traditional approaches to time management fall short.
A holistic approach to time management offers a powerful solution.
Rather than focusing solely on productivity and efficiency, a holistic approach considers all aspects of your life and creates a more sustainable and balanced approach to managing your time.
In this post, we'll explore what a holistic approach to time management is and why it actually works.
If you're ready to feel like yourself and live your life the way you want to, keep reading!
What is a holistic approach to time management?
A holistic approach to time management goes beyond simply organizing tasks and schedules.
This radical way of managing time explores the interconnectedness of all the areas of life such as work, relationships, environment, finances, and your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
It recognizes that time is a precious and limited resource. It aims to help you make conscious, intentional decisions about how you spend your time to experience a greater sense of purpose, satisfaction, and overall well-being.
At the core of holistic time management is you. Your values, your priorities, and long-term vision.
It believes that when you are well, everything else is easier. Much easier.
Because of this, a holistic approach to time management is inherently anti-capitalist.
When you spend your time in a way that prioritizes enoughness, fulfillment, and wellness, you are challenging the dominant, capitalist narratives around time and productivity.
Holistic time management helps you resist the societal pressure to work longer hours and prioritize work/doing/productivity above all else. It helps you reclaim your life and live the way you want to.
My application of holistic time management also acknowledges that time is not only an individual problem or solution, it’s a collective one. How we’re able to spend our time is directly connected to the systems we live in and the privileges and support we have.
What happens when you don’t use a holistic approach to time management
Time management was founded by a fellow engineer, Frederick Winslow Taylor (the author of The Principles of Scientific Management published in 1911).
The goal of traditional time management? Optimizing productivity and efficiency to complete as many tasks as possible in the shortest amount of time, with the hope that if you get everything done, you can rest and relax.
The problem with this thinking? Work and to-dos never end.
Traditional time management does not take into account individual rhythms and needs and ignores the beautiful, magical, intuitive, and unpredictable-ness of life.
Trying to manage our time in a capitalist and extractive way leaves us feeling shame, failure, isolation, guilt, unrealistic expectations, falling behind, stress, exhaustion, overwhelm, and burnout.
It’s no wonder we’re exhausted, we’re still using many of his (and other neurotypical, middle-class, white male) principles.
Time management with a holistic approach actually works
A holistic approach to time management actually works because it recognizes and honors the fact that you are a unique and whole, human being.
And it emphasizes self-knowledge, mindfulness, compassion, trust, and intuition.
If you have trauma, a chronic illness, are neurodivergent, or are simply a human who doesn’t want to live exhausted on autopilot, holistic time management is here for you.
It’s about more than just checking off tasks on a to-do list.
It's about identifying and crafting an easeful life around your values and priorities. It also acknowledges and addresses the societal factors and deeper beliefs that cause you to feel overwhelmed, stressed out, or short on time.
Holistic time management will give you the skills, mindsets, and tools you need to finally have time for everything that’s important to you, including space to rest, have fun, and enjoy your days.
A holistic approach to time management allows you to engage with a life beyond being a cog in the machine.
You get to accomplish your goals while experiencing a life full of peace and freedom.
You get to be the person you want to be.
To create the art and beauty you want to see in the world.
And to experience more ease and joy than you’ve ever felt.
What’s more important than that?
Hire me as your time coach to create time for everything that’s important to you, including space to rest, have fun, and enjoy your life!
Calendar Management: Why your intuition is more important than you think
What happens when we spend hours creating a plan and schedule that would work in an ideal world but doesn’t hold up with life’s unexpected twists and turns?
Many of my clients end up getting overwhelmed, sitting in indecision, and sometimes even giving up on planning altogether. This leads to lots of frustration, disappointment, and time wasted.
If this is you, I see you.
Many factors can throw off our carefully planned schedules, and it’s difficult to navigate these obstacles with confidence.
When it comes to creating adaptable and flexible plans (that don’t feel like a prison), your intuition is so important.
Your digital calendar is one of the best places to plan with and practice trusting your intuition.
In this post, I’ll guide you through how to identify your intuition, why it’s so hard to listen to, the benefits of using your intuition in your calendar management, and give you helpful tangible examples.
What is your intuition?
To me, my experience of intuition is simply a gut response to a decision, big or small, without necessarily having logical reasoning for it. Intuition can show up as a physical sensation, imagery, synchronicities, patterns, and more.
Curious about all the ways your intuition might be showing up? Check out Bustle’s 14 signs your intuition is speaking to you.
Also, personally, human design has also really helped me tap into my intuition. As a manifesting generator, I have a sacral (or gut) yes or no response to external stimuli and decisions.
However, at the end of the day, your experience of your intuition is what matters most.
What is YOUR experience of your intuition? How does it show up for you? Comment below and let me know!
Why is it so difficult to listen to your intuition?
For many reasons. The 3 biggest that I see are:
It’s almost impossible to tap into your intuition when you’re tired, overwhelmed, anxious, stressed out, in your head, or busy. If you’re often in these states… that’s your answer.
We confuse fear, critical, or “should” voice as intuition. (My intuition shows up as neutral, calm, and clear.)
Intuition isn’t often honored as an important business or time management skill/strategy in our culture. Even though 85% of CEOs in this one study confirmed that intuition was central to their decision-making process
We all have intuition, whether we realize it or not.
The more we understand it, the more we can apply it to better our lives.
The massive benefits of listening to your intuition
Honestly, the benefits of listening to yourself reach far and wide. But when it comes down to it, you get days that add up to a life more beautiful than you could ever imagine.
Listening to your intuition allows you to live a life true to you.
What’s better than that?
My clients, and I, often feel like we need proof to trust more. If you’re like us… I can confidently say you already have proof!
Ask yourself, “What’s happened in the past when I’ve listened to my gut?”
Ease, flow, peace, accomplishment, success, abundance. For me?
Changing my offerings in my business, then selling them out.
Choosing to become a digital nomad and experiencing more peace and freedom than ever before.
Being super tired, putting my work down, opening Netflix for a brain break, and watching an episode that gave me tons of ideas allowing me to return and accomplish what I was doing way faster and easier.
What’s happened in the past when you HAVEN’T?
Frustration, guilt, resentment, suffering, pain, delays, and spending loads of time and energy overthinking and NOT making a decision.
Some more personal examples:
Forcing myself to do a workshop with someone, spending a month marketing, and having to cancel it because of the low attention and excitement it received.
Attempting to be a morning person and work out first thing, always being miserable when I do it and when I don’t guilt-trip myself.
Not deciding what to do with my day so just go along with whatever comes up in my inbox, and ending the day feeling like I did nothing.
How do I use my intuition in my digital calendar?
Now you know what intuition is, how it shows up for you, and how important it is to listen to it.
Unfortunately, time management or calendar management advice rarely recommends you listen to your intuition.
The typical advice is to time block your whole day or week to the minute and perfectly stick to it. Then, if you can’t then something is wrong with you.
Good thing I’m not your average time management coach!
I know it’s nearly impossible to perfectly stick to your schedule every day, all day, AND be happy. I wouldn’t even want to anymore.
So, let’s start with what calendar management even is.
What even is calendar management?
Calendar management is the process of prioritizing your time and managing your life through the use of a calendar(1).
I use my digital calendar to organize and manage everything in my business and life. It’s basically my personal assistant, and it’s free!
Linking calendar management and your intuition
You can use your intuition when you’re creating a daily or weekly to-do list and/or schedule.
You can also flex your intuition throughout the day and week by moving time blocks around when you feel like doing the thing.
Tangible examples of intuitive calendar management
Asking yourself how your schedule feels to you.
Leaving gaps to move around tasks when you feel like doing them.
Dragging and moving time blocks/containers around without guilt.
Using language that feels good to you when naming events.
Putting tasks when you’re most energized, creative, and excited.
Scheduling time to work on goals and dreams that are deeply important to you in your calendar so they finally happen!
Ask yourself, “What it would look like to use my intuition more in my calendar?”
When you use your intuition in your calendar, you can…
Trust and listen to yourself more, leading to more peace and fulfillment.
Make decisions that will give you the freedom you want.
Have more energy, be more productive (in the good way), and be happy with yourself and how you spent your time.
Your intuition is the most important, yet underrated, time and life management skill out there.
Now you know how crucial it is…
Intuitive scheduling and time blocking? Yes, please!
Enroll in Digital Calendars For Humans now.
5 Self reflection questions for an end of the year review session
5 Self reflection questions for an end of the year review session
We 21st-century humans move through life at such a high speed, whether it feels fast in the moment or not, we often miss what’s right in front of us.
As a time coach, reflecting is the key to intentionality, healing, growth, progress, and success.
Self-reflection or introspection helps you acknowledge what you did, who you were, and what went right.
It can also help you determine what can go better moving forward. Better meaning more authentic or aligned. Not better according to society or guilt.
Want to feel more aware of how you spent your time?
Want to more easily celebrate yourself? Feel more compassion, motivation, and confidence?
Grab a pen and paper or open a fresh google doc to reflect on your last year with me!
Before continuing, PAUSE!
Before we pause and reflect, let’s get super meta and pause to take a few big deep breaths.
Feel free to close your eyes, put your hands on your heart for a gesture of self-compassion, and take three big deep breaths.
Open your eyes, when you’re ready, and we'll go ahead and get started.
5 Self-reflection questions for an end-of-year review session
Q1: What happened in your life and business?
The first question that I always need to journal or think about to decompress from the past year was: What happened in my life? What happened in my business or job?
Here’s what happened in my life and business and what I learned in 2022.
Pause reading this blog, and take some time to journal about this question. I’d recommend 10 to 15 minutes. Feel free to open up your digital calendar or planners to help jog your memory.
Q2: What happened in the world around you?
The second question is: What happened in the world around me?
So not just in your personal life, but expanding out to what happened in your community and the world.
In 2022, we seem to be recovering from COVID, wars and revolutions broke out, elections were had, and so much more. I often forget about how current events in the world impact me and add internalized stress and anxiety.
Feel free to take another 10 to 15 minutes to jot down all the things that happened in the world around you that you can think of.
Q3: What goals did you accomplish? Not accomplish?
The third question is: What were the goals that I set at the beginning of the year? Which of them happened, and which didn’t?
If you want to go deeper, ask yourself why you think that was the case. For the goals that happened, what supported you in accomplishing them? For the ones that didn’t happen, how can you give yourself permission to let go of them?
If you need help letting it go, go back to the last question, what happened in the world around you? What happened in your life? Hopefully, those two questions will give you a bit of permission or compassion around why they didn't come to fruition.
Pause reading and journal about that connecting to the last two questions and truly start to see kind of how all these things that impact our time, ourselves, and our lives start to fit together.
Q4: What have you learned over the past year?
The next question that I always love to reflect on is: What significant lessons can I gather from the last year of my life? Some additional questions are:
What have I learned from all the things that have happened?
What did I learn about what makes me successful?
Then, ask yourself: How might I carry these lessons with me into the new year?
Again, pause reading here to take some time to journal about your takeaways now.
Q5: How can you celebrate yourself and your efforts?
The fifth and final question is: How can I celebrate myself and my efforts?
If you're here reading this and reflecting on your last year, that is enough to celebrate. I’m celebrating you reflecting and reviewing the past year because it’s 100% going to set you up for success.
A simple and easy way to celebrate yourself is through self-talk. You can say to yourself, “Thank you for making it through another year. Thank you for reflecting. Thank you for caring about me. Thank you!!!”
Another question you can ask yourself is: What do I need to do to make sure I actually celebrate myself?
It’s really easy for people to move right past celebrating themselves. This is the most important part of the end-of-year review session. You deserve celebration and acknowledgment!
Ok, I lied. Q6: Where would you like to be in a year from now?
With your above reflections and this question, it’s time to create a plan for 2023 that is sustainable, realistic, and most importantly authentic to you.
Want to end 2023 knowing that you made the best use of your time, energy, and attention?
Want to be able to take more time off to rest and take care of yourself than ever before? Or discover the strategies that will help you stay focused on and follow through with what matters most in your life?
Whatever it is, I'm here for it.
Click here to learn how time coaching can support you as you thrive into the next phase of your life.
Partner Works Too Much? Why & What To Do About It
My partner means so much to me. We just celebrated four years (watch this short montage reel I created!) of marriage and it still feels like we’re in the honeymoon phase most days.
I credit much of the strength of our relationship to the healing and growth work I’ve done around time, worth, and success.
Why?
Simply put, time is your life. Time is your presence. And it’s how you show love.
Before I started healing my own misunderstandings around time... I spend most of it working. Not just on my “work-work”. I was always going and doing things.
Without checking everything off my to-do list and successfully achieving all my goals, I didn’t feel deserving of love or partnership.
Where did this leave me? Us?
While I cherished my relationship, it was suffering because of my inability to be with him. I rarely sat still long enough to form a real and deep connection with myself, let alone my partner.
Cue all the frustration, resentment, and guilt.
I created this blog for those of us craving more presence with our partners, our kids, our family members, or even ourselves. Keep reading for an inside look at making time for loved ones, because it is possible to have time for everything that’s important to you. And holistic time management can help get you there.
How do you know if you or your partner works too much?
These are the signs that I personally experience, and my clients’ experience, when we’re not making time for our loved ones.
Frustration, resentment, and/or guilt towards self or partner.
Feeling physically, mentally, or emotionally disconnected from your partner.
Never having time to cook and enjoy meals together.
Feeling unbalanced in domestic duties.
Struggling to not talk about work when you aren’t working.
Any successes you do have feel empty.
Think of something else I haven’t included in the list above? Feel free to share your unique experience in the comments below - who knows, others might be in the same spot.
Why is it so difficult to make time for our partners? We love them!
If your partner works too much or you find it difficult to make time for your partner... You are not alone.
As a time coach, an extremely common goal of my clients is to have more time for their loved ones. They want to know, “why is it so hard to make time for the people I love?”
Often it’s not about a lack of love. It’s because we’ve been taught to place more value on work, money (especially if we’re in survival mode), and success.
Many people label time with loved ones as rest, time off, and/or self-care. As we know, those are some of the most challenging things to actually have time for. We have to flip this inherent prioritization in order to reclaim our time.
If you’re a business owner, this feeling can compound even more. Our businesses feel like our babies in a way, taking time away from them feels impossible. Businesses that are passion-led and mission-based are deeply connected to our purpose.
Want to read more about the truth about the difficulty of taking time off? Click here.
What to do if you or your partner works too much?
The answer to this is a complex one. Because you and your relationships are unique, giving tips and advice doesn’t feel all that useful here.
The best thing I can offer are these three coaching questions:
Is making time for your loved one important to you?
If so, why? What will happen in your life if you make more time for them?
What is ONE small thing you can implement today to be more present with them?
Some steps could look like:
Pause and take a deep breath (or three).
Setting clear expectations with your partner about how you spend your days.
Discover and focus on doing the things you both love to do together.
Heal any limiting beliefs around what’s preventing you from making time for them and being present.
Create time management systems to make the time actually happen. For example, a shared calendar to more openly communicate your schedules. In my Sustainable Schedule VIP Day, I’ve worked with clients to create shared calendars with their partners, for their kids, and a co-parenting schedule. Learn more here.
Adopt a practice mindset where it’s okay to mess up and fail sometimes.
Recognizing the little moments throughout the day.
Notice a trend in all these steps above? They’re all related to time management.
Why time management is so important for good relationships
Simply put, time is your life. Time is your presence. And it’s how you show love.
It’s also how you make money, pay your bills, and find fulfillment in your life.
Making time for everything that’s important and meaningful to you is no doubt a juggling act. I’ll be the first to say it is a constant work in progress. (Yes, even for me… a time coach).
Time management is the most important thing you can focus on because when you effectively accomplish everything you need to, tasks don’t bleed over into your time with your loved ones.
You can relax and enjoy the company of your people without feeling guilty (HUGE!)
When you prioritize and dedicate time and energy to your relationship, it will flourish.
If you are able to tap into the present moment when you’re with your partner, it’ll be a lot easier to feel connected and loved.
The opposite is also true. When you don’t spend time with the people that mean the most to you, the relationship will suffer in some way. Learn more about the benefits of rethinking how you manage your time.
Holistic Time Coaching is your best bet for making time for loved ones
Traditional time management focuses on helping you be your most productive self at work, sometimes at home. When you set goals, create a schedule, or write a to-do list… it’s rarely encouraged or taught to include things like rest, time off, and/or self-care.
If we equate our relationships with those things, it makes complete sense to me that they don’t happen as often as we’d like them to.
Holistic time management understands the entire scope of your life and what’s most important to you, like your relationships. Managing your time with a holistic approach will allow you to be a whole human being.
Learn more about why holistic time management works so well here.
Want your evenings back to spend with your partner (not thinking about work?)
Learn more about 1:1 holistic time coaching.
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