3 Ways generational trauma impacts your ability to be your own boss
I’ve noticed as of late, we are having a more open dialogue about the impact of childhood traumas.
We may find it easy to notice how our trauma shows up in our relationships, but what about how it may show up in our work environments and career choices?
Specifically with wanting to be our own boss.
It’s easy to want to go off on your own when you are sick and tired of other people telling you what to do.
What happens when you take the leap and become your own boss?
Unresolved trauma can prevent you from getting what you truly want–freedom, flexibility, and success.
Whether you’re in the beginning stages of entrepreneurship or have already taken the plunge, it’s so important to be mindful of past traumas.
In this blog, you’ll discover what generational trauma is and list 3 ways that old childhood trauma may show up in your ability to be your own boss.
Written by: Susan Abdel-Haq, LMFT
What is generational trauma?
Trauma is a term that we are starting to have more and more conversations about. Gone are the days when we contextualized “trauma” as being just “ an emotional response to a terrible event.
The reality is that trauma doesn’t just exist as isolated and single incidents.
According to GoodTherapy.org, “Intergenerational trauma (sometimes referred to as trans- or multigenerational trauma) is defined as trauma that gets passed down from those who directly experience an incident to subsequent generations.
Intergenerational trauma may begin with a traumatic event affecting an individual, traumatic events affecting multiple family members, or collective trauma affecting larger community, cultural, racial, ethnic, or other groups/populations (historical trauma).”
This can largely show up in how we were disciplined, raised, and even the messages that we get growing up that shape our core beliefs about ourselves and others.
These patterns are sometimes overt but oftentimes they are more unconscious and require more self-reflection.
How childhood trauma affects your success
Taking patterns from old work environments
Are you…
Valuing the product and services you provide (Aka charging what you are worth)?
Creating a traditional 8 am to 5 pm schedule that previously burned you out?
Holding on to this belief that in order to “make it”, you have to be working 24/7 and answering emails past the work time that you want?
Unfortunately, a lot of work environments may also be reinforcing old beliefs that are no longer helpful such as “You aren’t doing enough”, “You don’t get a say”, or even that your value is solely based on what you “produce”.
It can be easy to repeat old toxic work patterns, but you get to break away from all of that.
You get to create a schedule that you want!
YOU are your own boss now and get to create an income and lifestyle that works for you.
Check back in with the reasons why you left your old position to be your own boss. Are you repeating them?
If your current work setup feels all too familiar, then it could be a sign to make some changes.
Self-Limiting Beliefs
Limiting beliefs about yourself and what you are capable of achieving are often common for folks who have generational trauma.
Examples are:
“That probably won’t work for me”
“No one would pay me for that”
“I could never have what that person has”
When you come from a household where there is trauma such as neglect, emotional abuse, or dysfunctional modeled behavior, it can be extremely hard to release old narratives.
A way to break these patterns is to first start to notice when you are having these self-limiting beliefs then remind yourself why you want to become your own boss in the first place.
Is it to leave a greater impact? Triple your income? Work less? Meet more people?
Embrace the new narrative!
Boundaries (or lack thereof)
Most folks would agree that boundaries are important. However, boundaries are harder to set and enforce when they weren’t healthily modeled in your childhood.
When there has been trauma, people tend to steer in one direction (either being more rigid with no room for flexibility or being too loose and not feeling in control).
There is also often doubt when it comes to your overall judgment and follow-through of boundaries.
Take a moment to really think about what your limits are. Consider things like:
What drains me of my energy?
How many hours do I want to work?
What times do I want to be available?
When/how do I want to respond to inquiries/clients?
Don’t worry if you don’t have it all figured out.
Remember that boundaries evolve over time and give you many opportunities to trial and error certain things.
How to achieve what you really want: Be a good boss to yourself
When you treat yourself well, that’s when you achieve fulfillment, be more productive, and experience more energy.
Imagine how much easier it’ll be to achieve your goals.
However, if you’re struggling with making the most of your time, generational trauma might be impacting you.
As with anything, you can’t change what you can’t see.
That’s why having these 3 ways childhood trauma impacts your ability to be your own boss in your awareness is so beneficial.
The process to becoming your own boss isn’t easy and requires a lot of internal work. However, there is a strength that comes from surviving trauma and that same strength will ultimately lead you to success!
Always remind yourself that being your own boss takes so much courage and vulnerability.
And when in doubt, always go back to why you started your own business, make sure your needs come first, and reach out for support from trusted therapist or coach.
Want to feel confident, in control, and at peace with your time? Click here to get free + supportive resources!
About the contributor
Susan Abdel-Haq, LMFT is a trauma informed licensed psychotherapist practicing in California. Susan is trained in both EMDR and Brainspotting and enjoys integrating other modalities in her clinical work. She is passionate about holding space for people to work through the hard stuff and tap into their strengths. Susan specializes in working with folks who are struggling with relational trauma, Narcissistic abuse recovery, toxic family of origin work, people-pleasing, substance-use disorders, anxiety, and exploring aspects of their cultural identity to work towards healing.
Franco, D. F. (2021, January 7). Understanding intergenerational trauma: An introduction for clinicians. GoodTherapy.org Therapy Blog. Retrieved June 10, 2022, from https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/Understanding_Intergenerational_Trauma
*Disclosure: I only recommend products I would use myself and all opinions expressed here are our own. This post may contain affiliate links that at no additional cost to you, I may earn a small commission. Read full privacy policy here.
12 Simple ways to celebrate yourself without spending a dime
The antidote to being exhausted: Celebrate yourself
You're working extremely hard to make your goals and dreams happen.
Even though you love what you do, you're exhausted.
You're often hard on yourself because you feel like you should be further ahead or doing more.
When someone says, “Take a break,” you don't even know what you would even do with that break.
If you’re feeling any of these things I just listed above…I see and hear you.
You are working really hard trying to do what you might feel is enough, but is really the job of like 5 people.
In this blog, I'm going to share with you why celebrating yourself is so important and some ideas on how to reward yourself so you can stop downplaying your strengths and achievements, and feel your best.
It's time to celebrate how amazing you already are!
Why celebrating yourself is key to success
We live in such a fast-paced society, and we are taught from when we're kids in school all the way until we retire to get as much stuff done as we possibly can. When we care more about the number of tasks done, it’s easy to minimize what gets done and our efforts. That's why the conversation around burnout has become so loud.
When you only think about what's next, your goals, and the future, you deplete yourself.
When you’re depleted you’re not your best. It’s difficult to be productive, creative, and thoughtful when you’re drained.
How do you remedy this?
Since you’re here, you can guess: Celebrating yourself.
When you celebrate yourself for the things you do get done, you’ll have more energy, motivation, and momentum allowing you to achieve your goals much faster (and easier).
When you reward yourself, you're building your self-accountability muscle helping you follow through easier and procrastinate less.
When you pause and acknowledge yourself, your confidence and self-worth grow.
The result? Feeling fulfilled and content.
How to reward yourself without spending a dime
One common misconception I hear is that people believe they must spend money on themselves in order to celebrate and reward themselves. They think of going to a spa, going out to a fancy dinner, going online shopping, or even going to a store.
What happens when you don’t have the extra funds or time in your budget to do those things? You feel like you can’t celebrate yourself.
While there's nothing wrong with spending money on yourself, it’s extremely important to me to make acknowledging yourself more accessible.
Here we go!
1. Pat yourself on the back
Literally. In the past when I’ve finished a small task, I will pat myself on the back, give myself a high five, or someone else who’s around me. (Usually my husband)
2. Be your own cheerleader
Stand up and celebrate, cheer, shimmy, dance, or do anything that feels really good to just give yourself that energy.
3. Verbalize it
You can verbally tell yourself, “good job,” “way to go!” “hell yeah, (insert your name)” out loud or in your head. You can say anything that feels good and celebratory.
4. Share it with someone (or yourself)
Text or call a loved one to share something that you are proud of yourself for doing. You can also just write it down on a piece of paper.
I used to use my paper planner as a have-done list, where instead of all the things I wanted to get done, I wrote down everything I did.
5. The beloved bath
Take a luxurious celebratory bubble bath, of course, if you have a bathtub. Think: How can I make this bath feel like a luxury spa treatment? Oils, candles, music, tech-free, flowers, herbs.
6. Pick yourself a wildflower bouquet
Go for a walk, pick flowers and bring a little flower wildflower bouquet home to yourself.
7. Soak in nature
Grab a blanket, lay outside, cloud watch, and enjoy the weather. If it’s not sunny, run around in the rain.
8. At-home spa day
Take inventory of the things you already have at home that would make a nice at-home spa day (also, see the beloved bath above). You could: Paint your nails, give yourself a facial, and if you have one willing, get a partner to give you a massage.
9. Look in a mirror
Check yourself out in a mirror and say something meaningful or silly: “You go!!!” or “Damn, I'm fine!”
10. Have fun in the kitchen
If you like baking or cooking… check your inventory and bake something that you’re in the mood for.
11. Pass it forward
Being of service is one of those things that feels really good to my soul while making a difference in my community. Volunteer or give back to an organization you care about.
12. Permission to be “lazy”
Give yourself some guilt-free trash TV Netflix, scrolling Insta/Tik Tok time, or a delicious nap. Taking time off might feel extra challenging, read more about why you feel guilty here.
Wondering which idea to pick, or didn’t find something for you?
You can come up with your own way to celebrate yourself because the ideas are truly endless.
Pause, tune out the noise, and ask yourself, “What would feel joyful, energized, and really good to my soul?”
That’s your answer!
Once you have an idea of what feels good to you, open a note on your phone or take out a post-it note at your desk and write them down to easily come back to.
Caution! It can be easy to fall into the trap of toxic productivity with your rewards.
A lot of time, people think, “I want to clean the house, I want to weed the garden, etc.” While those are amazing to get done… Does your inner self really want to do the dishes? Go outside and mulch? Maybe! So make sure to check in with yourself first.
When (and how to actually) celebrate yourself
Another common misconception is that you have to wait until the very end of your project. For example, if you're building a website, it took me months and months and months to build my website and I felt like I couldn't celebrate myself until the entire big website was launched and ready to go.
That's not true! You don't have to wait until the end of big projects. In fact, the more you celebrate the small milestones, the more motivated and energized you’ll be.
Celebrating yourself can be a daily, weekly, biweekly, monthly, or intuitive practice.
In terms.of making sure I actually celebrate myself, I schedule time in my calendar. At the end of each day, I have an event to review what I did as well as at the end of each week to do a more thorough review.
So I’m curious: What frequency would feel appropriate to you? How might you make celebrating yourself a priority?
Let me know in the comments below!
Want to feel more confident, in control, and at peace with your time? Click here to get free + supportive resources!
How to take care of yourself when you have the winter blues
How to take care of yourself when you have the winter blues
Once the holidays pass and deep winter sets in, it's easy to forget that this is traditionally the season to slow down and rest.
Especially because we’re inundated with posts and workshops about setting goals and making plans for the new year.
Extra especially because most modern-day cultures and economies do not shift with the natural seasons. Can you imagine Walmart or Target and the oil industry opting to slow down or close? Ha.
However, nature doesn’t stay at top speed and max growth all year round. And guess what? As human beings, we are nature!
That’s why millions of people in America alone experience winter blues. Or more intensely, "seasonal affective disorder", also known as "seasonal depression.”
As business owners, it can feel extremely difficult to slow down. But it doesn’t have to be.
You have a unique opportunity to create a culture within your life and your business to shift with the seasons.
You became a small business owner to do this exact thing.
How to “beat” the winter blues
I'm just going to go ahead and say it: I hate the cold.
In the winter, my body hurts, I'm not motivated at all, and I just want to eat a bunch of food and hibernate. My husband basically has to drag me out of the house to get outside because of how much I hate the cold.
If you’re with me or you typically have lower energy and motivation in the winter months, you are not alone. Millions of people experience a sort of winter blues or seasonal depression. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you for wanting and/or needing to slow down in the winter.
In fact, I’d say you’re extremely in tune with yourself and I’m celebrating that about you.
Understanding why the winter blues happens to you
Internal and external factors greatly affect how we manage our time, get things done, and achieve our goals. In order to more holistically manage your time, taking them into account is extremely important. Want some examples?
Internal factors are our mental health, physical health, energy levels, menstrual cycle (if you have one), and more.
External factors are like the weather, our physical space, astrology (if you believe in astrology as I do), geographical allocation of resources, policies, and more.
As humans, we can’t ignore them. We have to work with them, including during the winter.
When you think of wintertime, what do you think of?
Cold weather
Long and dark days
Trees, plants, and things that have died off and don't grow for months
Animals hibernate or migrate to warmer places
Death and decay
Slowing down
Sleeping
Wintertime as an external factor causes a major shift in our bodies where they want to slow down and rest more.
So when winter rolls around and you have a ton on your plate, big goals, packed schedule… your body wants to do the exact opposite. This makes it extremely difficult for you to feel motivated, get focused, and be productive in the same way as other seasons.
Feel the urge to slow down, a lack of motivation, or an increase in negative self-talk in the winter months?
Then you are someone who is impacted by seasonal changes, and it’s extremely important to learn how to work with this external factor.
Shift your mindset around beating the blues
Most articles talk about beating the blues as if you’re in a fight against yourself. That’s not helpful for anyone.
You don’t have to beat the blues. You don’t have to be productive right now. You can rest more, and still be successful.
Shifting your mindset around beating the winter blues looks like:
Not suppressing the urge to rest and forcing yourself to work at high speed.
Letting go of the pressure to operate at the same speed you might during other times of the year.
Taking the best care of yourself through it…which typically means slowing down, a lot.
Doing what you need to do to come out on the other end prepared and ready for the next season to begin.
Listen to your body
Winter is the best season to practice being more mindful and listening to what your body needs. Your body wants to slow down, wants care, and wants ______. (You fill in the blank: What does your body need right now?) Mine needs a NAP.
This season is also a great time to lower self-expectations, do the bare minimum, reflect on your life or business, watch Netflix without feeling guilty, or just sit in front of a fireplace and chill.
Doing the bare minimum, slowing down, and resting might feel challenging at first. Listen to what your body needs and wants, and let go of the rest of the stuff until there's more sunlight.
Welcome this opportunity to rest and recharge because it doesn’t come very often in our society and our businesses.
Max out your sunlight time
Keep as many window shades as you can open as much as possible to allow more sunlight into your home.
When you feel brave, bundle up and get outside. I try to as much as possible but as I said, I really hate the cold. But, whenever I actually go outside it really helps me.
Prioritize movement & nourishment
I typically prioritize movement all year round, but I have to even more in the winter because I just want to sit on the couch and do nothing. So, I create a list of all the current ways I love to move my body and schedule them 3-4x a week in my calendar when I’m most energized and motivated.
Then, I incorporate warmth. This looks like going to hot yoga, exercising in front of a heater, or bundling up and getting outside. But I try to move 3-4 times a week, even if it's just like dancing around my house for a couple of minutes.
By the way, there are some awesome gentle & free movement classes on YouTube. Click here for my personal playlist of yoga and mindful movement classes.
Another thing that I prioritize all year round, but especially so in the winter is eating healthy and taking vitamins. In the winter when we’re feeling less likely to move our bodies and eat healthily, even just taking vitamin D and C helps me feel like I’m doing everything I can to stay healthy and well.
How might you prioritize taking care of your body in the winter?
Make loving decisions for you & your business
What I mean by this is making decisions that are grounded in self-love. If taking a trip to a warmer climate (COVID permitting) would be loving, do it. If taking a nap would be loving, do it. If it feels like you’re forcing yourself to move and eat healthily, don’t do it.
If taking a bunch of stuff off your to-do list is loving, do it. If saying no to another client is loving, great. If you don’t feel like marketing right now, that’s cool.
Use this season to be more loving towards yourself in the decisions you make.
Additional external support
In the winter, I seek out more support than in other seasons of the year.
I am a huge advocate of getting support whether it be from a therapist, coach, friend, or something else. Especially if you’re winter blues is intense.
Why? Because sharing with someone else the shoulds I feel to do more in the winter helps me release them.
Consider investing in some accountability or external support around this time to make sure that you take really good care of yourself, in the winter specifically.
How will you “beat the blues?”
Recognizing you have the winter blues and taking care of yourself throughout the winter is how you can beat the blues, successfully manage your business, and be prepared and ready spring.
What specifically will you do to beat the blues? Comment below on what you are going to do differently this year.
Want support with shifting with the seasons so you can successfully run your business and take really good care of yourself? I can help! Click here to book a free consult call.
Why taking time off is so hard and how to do it without feeling guilty
Why taking time off is so hard and how to do it without feeling guilty
Resting and taking time off is not exactly glamorous or sexy. But… Do you know what is?
Feeling energized, motivated, and joyful on a regular basis. And being successful without having to work all the time.
If that's what you're into or looking for, taking time off and rest is non-negotiable. So why is it so challenging to put everything aside and make time for you?
By the end of this blog, you will understand why it's so hard for you to take time away from your business and what to do about it.
Why is taking time off so hard (even when you plan for it)?
Puppies.
Confused? Let me explain.
If you’ve ever had a puppy, you know how much work they are. It makes me tired just thinking about getting one.
Your whole life revolves around your precious new pup. You have to continuously take care of it and train it so it doesn’t go to the bathroom inside. It wakes you up all hours of the night. When you go to work, you have to put your puppy in a crate so it doesn’t chew your entire living room apart.
Guess what happens when you are done with work?
Your puppy is so excited to see you! But you can’t just flop on the couch and relax… your puppy NEEDS to use the bathroom and run around to get all its energy out.
Now, imagine that your mind is that puppy.
You’ve been working, doing, and going for your entire life keeping your thoughts and feelings in that metaphorical crate. When you take time off, you’re confronted with all of it.
Resting is not a piece of cake
Hustle culture, societal and familial norms, self and other people’s expectations, and basically everything that we’ve been taught since the first grade is to get things done.
Our entire economy is based on labor and output, with one goal in mind: non-stop growth.
Our minds are wired to constantly think about all the things we have to do.
That's why so many people say they feel lazy or behind when they pause, take time off, and rest. And that’s why it feels so much easier to continue to work and stay busy until you basically HAVE to rest (equivalent to burnout).
Now you might have some more clarity around why it’s so difficult to rest. However, logically even when you know something, it can still be incredibly difficult to do
Especially when you are an entrepreneur and you feel like your business will fall apart when you take time away from it. If you feel like this, there are many different things you can do to let go of that misunderstanding. Click here to find out how I can help you create a healthy foundation for you to take time away from your business.
If resting is hard for you and you want to learn more about how our societal norms, capitalism, racism, and the patriarchy impact your ability to rest, follow the nap ministry. They have taught me so much!
What’s possible when you take time for you?
When you pause, take time for yourself, and rest you get to sit with yourself.
You get to notice and feel your feelings.
You get to examine, reflect, acknowledge, and celebrate yourself.
You get to notice what’s going well, and what needs to change.
It might feel like a lot. Just like a real puppy, when it first gets out your thoughts and feelings may feel overwhelming. But by continuing to work and delaying time off, you keep your metaphorical puppy in its crate dying to get out.
That’s why I recommend having someone to support you through this journey.
Curious about what’s waiting on the other side of the initial puppy wild energy?
When you take more time off, you’ll be able to…
Be present for the things that deeply matter to you (your loved ones, your health, etc.)
Regularly feel refreshed, energized, and creative (not only to be more productive later).
Heal any underlying feelings of unworthiness, scarcity, and insufficiency.
Start feeling more fulfilled, alive, and successful.
Shift your mindset around time so every day doesn’t feel like a stressful high-speed race.
Find what being content and at peace looks like to you.
Start believing in things like divine timing and increase your patience.
Begin to feel more confident in yourself and how you spend your time.
Increase your self-trust, self-discipline, and self-love.
The list goes on and on.
However, I always say when you regularly rest and take time for yourself, you begin truly living.
If you want any or all of those things, learning how to take more time off and be with yourself is your answer.
How do you take guilt-free time off?
There are some tangible solutions and non-tangible solutions. And the solutions you need are completely unique to you, your business, and your life.
How you might create more time off and rest without feeling guilty could look like:
Identifying that you have a desire to make more time for yourself.
If you often say or feel, “I never have enough time,” healing a time scarcity mindset.
Setting and keeping firmer boundaries around your time off.
Aligning your schedule and working hours.
Adopting a mindfulness practice to handle the thoughts and feelings that come up when you rest.
If you can’t rest because you need to work to pay the bills, figure out how much money you actually need to create a plan and schedule to reach that number.
Learning how to be more compassionate with yourself because you can’t heal guilt with more guilt.
Planning your time more realistically (no more overcommitting and over-scheduling).
Ask yourself, “What might be my next step so I can rest and reap the benefits of guilt-free time off?”
As a holistic time coach, discovering how to reach your goals and take more guilt-free time off is one of the ways I help the business owners I work with.
If you’re ready to go from "I never have enough time" to at peace and fulfilled with what gets done in your 24 hours, including rest and time off… schedule a free no-pressure consult call now.
Why toxic productivity is actually getting in the way of your success
Why toxic productivity is actually getting in the way of your success
Today's post is a bit vulnerable and scary because as a time management coach I'm sharing with you my biggest time management mistake.
I’m sharing it with you because hopefully, you resonate with me. By the end of this post, you will also know how it is costing you so much time + energy in your life and business.
So when lockdown started I got at least 10 emails from a bunch of different companies offering free art classes, finance classes, knitting classes, and all these different things that I could do.
Now that I “had the time” guess what I did? I signed up for all of them.
Deep down I felt that I needed to make the most of this time now that we were stuck inside of our homes.
If you felt this way too, comment below just to tell me “Yes, I feel you Becca.” Tell me I'm not alone in this!
This is a super small example of a bigger picture issue that we have as humans in our society today. On a normal basis, pre-pandemic pre-COVID, we are bombarded with productivity hacks, tips, tricks, and tools to make every moment productive as possible. If you google productivity, you will get around 500 million results.
When we are students in school, as children, we are rewarded for getting the most done, the quickest possible, the best output. We're impressed by people who can pull all-nighters. In our industry, entrepreneurs boast about working 80 hours a week and never sleeping or having time for themselves.
Rarely do we celebrate people who have a healthy work balance, who get a good night's sleep, who take care of themselves and have tons of time off to rest and to do whatever they want.
So when the pandemic hit globally, in the United States, many of us didn't have our commutes to our nine to fives anymore. We didn't have plans to go out with friends or spend time with family that didn’t live with us. We had “nothing else to do”, so we could finally get to all of the house projects, courses, books, starting the business, and growing exponentially.
—> A statistic that just backs up what I'm saying is Home Depot increase its revenue by 20% from February 2020 to January 2021. They made 132 billion dollars in revenue.
At the same time, companies and many people felt like our focus, energy, and output would be the exact same or somehow even better during a really traumatic, huge shift in everyday life. So many people lost loved ones, got sick, and lost jobs. Yet we continue to expect ourselves to be productive at the expense of our humanness.
Since lockdown began, it became clear to so many people that toxic productivity is our biggest time management mistake as a society. And it was mine too, even being someone who knew how important resting and taking time off is. Even as a time management coach, I was still pressuring myself to be productive at the expense of the things that I thought I valued and cared about.
The mistake of toxic productivity
Why is toxic productivity a mistake?
A business owner I have worked with recently asked me why is it such a mistake or why is it a bad thing that I want to be productive and work. My answer was, “there is nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with wanting to grow the thing that you are passionate about, the business, the life that you are trying to create. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be productive, it's when it becomes toxic.”
When it becomes toxic, you only care about productivity, making every single moment productive and have an output or result you are chasing after something that is not really ever going to happen.
We believe this fallacy of productivity, that we'll finally get everything on our to-do list done one day. So we're always doing more, more, more, and more to try and get to that one day where we can rest, take time off, and make time for ourselves.
Productivity becomes toxic when all you do is try and get to that one day. That's what creates a hamster wheel because it never happens. Your to-do list will never end and when you believe you'll finally get to that one day, the things that you do get done never feel like enough.
All of that creates a lot of self-confidence issues, it causes unhealthy self-care habits, you start to put your worth into your productivity and the output that you create.
That has a lot of detrimental impacts on your business and your life.
In my personal experience, I was in the hospital with an intestine infection, never really having major health issues before. I developed a severe intestine infection and was in the hospital trying to meet a deadline! I had my computer with me in the hospital trying to work on an essay. At the time I was in college as an engineering student. I didn't really care about English at all (sorry to my teacher) and yet, I was unconsciously choosing to be productive over resting and caring about myself.
That's how bad it can get. Obviously, that is a pretty severe "rock bottom” in terms of burnout and productivity. It doesn't have to be severe at all it can just be you unable to sit on the couch and enjoy an evening with your family or even with yourself.
How to know if your productivity is toxic?
You have trouble sitting still and resting.
You continue to work when you know that you're tired, achy, and not in the mood to work.
You feel like being bored is a bad thing.
There's this just constant need for self-improvement, just more, more and more which leads to a lot of impacts on our mental and physical health like depression, anxiety, and strained relationships.
Choosing work over yourself and which leads to a lot of self-mistrust.
That's my experience and that is the experience of many of the clients that I work with.
How to reverse the impacts of toxic productivity
If you relate to any of the things that I just mentioned, I want to share with you two super simple things that I had to do and that I help the folks do in my coaching program. There are so many things that you can do to start reversing the impacts of toxic productivity and hustle culture.
1.The first thing that you can do is reframing what productive means to you.
A lot of times we think that just resting, relaxing, and spending time with family isn't productive and I would love to cut that out, it is 100% productive. Anything that is of value or importance to you is productive. Being alive, being a human, it's not just about work, it is not just creating results and output. Anything that means something to you is productive and I will say this over and over and over and over and over again.
Once you figure out what is of value or what is important to you then just remind yourself every time that you spend time on those things, you're being productive!
2. The second tip that I want to share with you is, the best lifestyle is a healthy lifestyle.
There are so many statistics and studies coming out around how being healthy is the best thing you can do for work, productivity, your business, for yourself, for your family.
When you are falling into the biggest time management mistake, aka toxic productivity, you put work over health, work over self. Putting your health number one is the most basic thing that you can do to step off the hamster wheel.
At the end of the day, we need to rest, we need to train ourselves to put ourselves first.
The next question that you are going to ask me is how, how do I reframe what's productive? How do I put myself first? How do I create a healthier work-life balance?
There is no one solution. I can't give you in this short post what the how is. The how comes from inside of you, it is unique to you.
This is beautiful because that means it's going to work, you just have to figure out what is inside of you and how to make that happen. So if you want to step off of the toxic productivity hamster wheel, if you want to be mentally and physically healthier and happier. If you want to be more compassionate with yourself. And if you want to feel like there is all of the time in the world for everything that you need to get done… the answers are inside of you. And I can support you in unearthing your answers in my 1:1 coaching program.
I know how hard it is to peel yourself away from your laptop, from work, from the business that you're building. I know how hard it is when you know how toxic a productivity mindset can be and yet still fall victim to it and not be able to rest, take time off and put yourself first. So if that's you, you are in good company here. Trust me when I say that I am here to help you break up with toxic productivity and step off that hamster wheel so you can start resting and start living life in the way that you want to.
If you resonated with my biggest time management mistake, let me know in the comments below.
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