3 Reasons why I no longer create quarter plans like I used to
How many times have you had so much you wanted to do, felt like you had to do it all immediately, and so just added it all to your plan?
Or have you ever made a plan, only to have life turn it upside down, leaving you lost and confused?
Yep, me too!
That’s one of the reasons I fell in love with quarterly planning.
I was tired of spinning my wheels trying to make progress towards my goals that seemed just out of reach.
If only I could find a way to focus, follow through, and control all of life’s curveballs.
That way was quarterly planning for me, circa 2018.
Now 4 years later, it’s time to share why I’m not planning in the same way anymore. Keep reading to find out!
What is quarterly planning?
If you aren’t familiar with quarterly planning, that’s ok! Quarterly planning simply asks you to think about and plan three months at a time, rather than a whole year or more.
When you break your year down into four pieces, it’s a lot easier to prioritize projects allowing you to stay flexible, focused, and more easily make progress.
What role did a quarterly plan play in my success?
When I first read 12 Week Year by Brian Moran in 2017, I was blown away.
At that time in my life, I was working an engineering job full time, teaching yoga part-time, planning my own wedding, and starting my own online yoga business. Just writing that out exhausts me.
I quite frankly had too much I wanted to do, and I felt like I had to do it all yesterday.
Quarterly planning allowed me to list out everything I wanted to do, and then attempt to prioritize.
Don’t be fooled, I continued to start every quarter with more than the recommended amount of priorities.
While I continued to do more than I realistically could, I was making progress faster because I was saying no to some things.
Looking back, quarterly planning helped me start to learn how to focus my time on the things that would actually move the needle.
Instead of buying course after course, I filled my time with what would actually grow my business: consult calls, coaching sessions, and networking.
Quarter planning was a major tool that created the momentum I needed to quit my 9-5, become a digital nomad, devote time to my relationships and my personal growth, and just live my life!
Then, once I started The Holistic time Coach, I was also able to put my own spin on quarterly planning and teach it to others.
Long story short: Quarterly planning, more specifically the often impossible skill of prioritizing played a major role in my success.
However, now 4 years after implementing quarterly planning in my life and business, I don’t need it in the same ways.
Whether you’re currently where I used to be and really need to prioritize better or you got that down and you’re trying to figure out what’s next, here are some of my thoughts:
Why I don’t create quarter plans like I used to
I deeply know my capacity, limits, and boundaries now
As I mentioned above, quarterly planning helped me put less on my plate than I naturally would have.
I now know tangibly how much I can put on my plate before I disturb my physical, mental, emotional, and/or spiritual health (my definition of capacity).
I don’t limit myself to 3 priorities, and I don’t need 3 priorities every quarter. I tune into myself and create a quarter plan that honors me instead of following someone else’s guidelines.
I also now generally put wayyy less on my plate. I look at projects and goals with a more realistic lens. I know what to say no to and have the skills to do that. And that’s helped me be more effective and live more authentically.
I trust myself more to (actually) follow my plans
I used to make a quarter plan that was a super detailed broken down action plan every month and every week. I also had a tracker to score and grade myself. (BLEGH!)
What ended up happening? I would never actually follow to detailed plans I would spend days creating, and never actually tracked my actions. It was too much for someone with already too much on their plate.
Looking back, I realize I didn’t really trust myself. I thought I had to do #allthethings in order to achieve my goals, so I could finally be happy. And more so, deeper down I really didn’t believe I could follow through, and so I proved myself right every quarter.
Until something clicked (more self-trust was the answer), I continued to make strict, rigid, detailed plans set up to fail me.
I can now trust that when I say I’ll do something, I’ll actually do it. I keep my word to myself, and follow through with the things that are deeply meaningful to me.
This has made my quarter plans more relaxed, open, flow-ey, and spacious helping me feel that through the day-to-day.
I simplified my life
I no longer have a job to balance while building my business. I’m able to focus on just me and my business… because I focused, made the most of my time, and took action.
I simplified my life in so many ways. I no longer have all these habits and external goals I’m constantly striving towards. Deep down in my heart, I feel more complete and content than I ever have.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m still constantly growing and healing. But there is a difference between that and setting a ton of goals and believing I’ll be happier once I achieve all of them.
I know it sounds cheesy, but I genuinely go with the flow and am open to whatever opportunities the universe presents to me. And lucky for me, I have the space and time to listen! My quarterly planning reflect these beliefs.
Where to go from here?
If you’re reading this, you might be thinking to yourself, “now what?” The beautiful thing about that is you get to decide!
If you have a ton on your plate, and you don’t want to feel stressed and overwhelmed all the time anymore, quarterly planning can really help you.
I invite you to check out my holistic quarterly planning worksheet.
If figuring out what a life of knowing yourself better, trusting yourself more, and enjoying a slow, peaceful yet ambitious life is important to you, learn more about working with me one-on-one.
I’d love to hear more about what you’re going through and if I can support you in discovering a new way of moving through the world.
Don't know how to slow down and enjoy life more? Here's how she did it.
At a point in your life where you’re trying to slow down and enjoy life more yet don’t exactly know where to go from here?
You know a lot of the systems you’ve been using and the old ways of thinking about time and productivity aren’t serving you anymore and you’re not sure what else things could look like?
You’re not alone.
The pandemic has made quite a lot of people
Rethink what they’re doing with their lives
How they spend their time, and
Finally, realize they have needs and desires…like slowing down… they need to listen to.
Learn about how Kasia slowed down and the massive impact it had on her business, relationships, and health.
Tell us who you are and what you do.
Hi! I’m Kasia, a specialist in the field of menstrual cycle disorders, and a graduate of pharmacy and clinical nutritionist at Wiecej Niz Hormony.
Why did you want to work with me?
I was at a point in my life where I was slowing down, and I knew a lot of things I used to do didn’t work for me.
My systems didn’t work because I was trying to fit myself into them, instead of the opposite.
I didn’t know how to create my own flexible structure.
What doubts did you have before working together?
I was trying to figure out if I really needed this or if it was just a whim.
I was worried that I would place all of my future hopes in it, and I didn’t want to do that to myself again.
Of course, financially I wasn’t sure if it was the best time or if it wasn’t worth it…. BUT it was one of the best decisions of my life.
What has been your favorite part so far?
Every part!
I am in the center, and I am able to make decisions for myself. There are no shoulds and pressure.
The space you created for me is so calming and loving.
You ask me so many questions… permission to tell you something, what our next steps are.
I feel taken care of!
What would you say was the biggest thing that changed for you?
I let go of all the shoulds and musts and prioritize myself. Even though it sounds so simple and everyone talks about that, I didn’t do it because I thought there are still things I should do, rules to follow in order to be successful in my life and business. I now put myself first when it comes to my schedule and to-do lists.
My business grew and I earn more money.
I finally know so much more about myself and my needs.
I decluttered my life from so many things that don’t serve me.
I’m so much more in tune with myself, respect myself more, my time more.
My google calendar doesn’t scare me anymore, finally!
…and so much more. I could talk about this forever.
Who would you recommend me to work with?
People who are struggling with finding the perfect time management system.
People who want to live more in tune with themselves, want to discover their values, and want to live a peaceful joyful life.
Any last thoughts?
It was one of the best investments of my life working with you.
It completely transformed my life in a way I couldn’t even believe was possible.
Want earning more money while feeling in tune with yourself to be way less stressful and painful? Apply to work with me here.
5 Critical steps to take when shiny object syndrome is slowing your business growth
Have you ever…
Threw money at a problem only to realize later it didn’t solve your issue?
Found yourself paying for and or taking course after course and not implementing most of what you learned?
Had a million and four ideas for new products or services, and you jump from one idea to the next without really seeing them through?
Answered yes to any of these? You might be suffering from shiny object syndrome.
If business owners aren’t careful, they can easily find themselves trapped by something termed shiny object syndrome.
Find yourself in this boat? Don’t fret! Keep reading to find out how to get your focus back.
Written by: Leslie Taylor & Associates
One of the biggest challenges I have faced in my business and watched my clients face is trying to figure out where to focus limited resources—time and money.
Even though I help entrepreneurs do this by providing them with greater insight into their businesses, the decisions are generally not easy, there are usually additional unknowns, and there is always some level of risk.
If you have been in business for any length of time, you likely understand by now that the name of the game is to figure things out as quickly as possible before you run out of money.
Figuring “it” out refers to understanding the right combination of things that will allow us to see cash flowing into our businesses and ultimately into our pockets. While we want to figure “it” out as soon as possible, sustainable business growth takes time. So, on the one hand, while we can and should learn from others, there are some things we must learn and validate on our own.
Ultimately, no matter how smart the owner, every business has gaps, inefficiencies, and things that no one on the team is good at doing.
Fortunately, there are a million and one options for fixing all the things.
Unfortunately, there are a million and one options for fixing all the things.
What is shiny object syndrome?
Shiny object syndrome is a type of distraction in which an individual is constantly chasing new, different, or the shiniest and most exciting things, and never making real progress.
Shiny object syndrome can distract to the point that a business ultimately fails because it never properly identifies and addresses the critical issues.
As an entrepreneur, you might have suffered from shiny object syndrome if:
You purchased a solution to a problem only to realize later that that particular solution didn’t solve your most pressing issue
You find yourself paying for and or taking course after course or working with coach after coach and not implementing most of what you learned
You have a million and four ideas for new products or services, and you jump from one idea to the next and on to the next…and the next never really seeing them through
If this is you, or has been you at some point in time, here are a few steps you can take.
What to do if you’re experiencing shiny object syndrome?
1) Ask WHY?
Do you have a sales problem, an expense problem, a profitability problem, or an operations problem?
While the cause of the issue could be due to a variety of things, most issues fall within one of these four areas. It is worth noting that it is possible to have some combination of these four.
Often by getting to the core of the problem, it is easier to determine the next action.
A sales problem looks like your business doesn’t have a steady and semi-controllable stream of clients and customers paying for your goods and services. It could be that sales activity is low, or that it fluctuates greatly. Any solutions forward must directly address the sales issue, if not you are wasting time and money.
An expense problem means a business hasn’t assessed its spending for money leaks. The solution forward must help the business look for and correct the money leaks before they run out of resources.
A profitability problem means the business is making sales consistently, but the money in the bank account doesn’t show it. The business has low or no cash even though the money keeps flowing in and clients/ customers are buying. The solution forward should first help identify the source of the profitability problem (pricing, excessive discounting, etc.), then help you address the issue.
An operations problem means that something in the way the business is doing business is keeping it from reaching goals. Maybe one of your employees is overloaded (maybe that is you, the owner), perhaps your customer experience is lacking in some way, or maybe your product has quality issues, or possibly your website is slow and potential clients get frustrated and leave. Again, the solution forward must address the operations issue directly.
2) Set goals for your business
Create goals for your business for the year that include a financial roadmap (budget) and look at your goals daily or weekly.
To stay focused, I keep a copy of my vision posted in my office and try to look at my goals every Monday morning before starting the week.
3) Be accountable to your goals
When considering any solution to grow or improve your business hold it up against your goals.
Possibly, more importantly, hold it up against your budget. How will this be paid for? Cash, loan, credit card, owner financed from personal funds?
4) Plan New Ventures
Vet new product and service ideas through a business plan format.
No, you may not need to create a full-blown business plan, but consider all the sections of a business plan and take the new idea through each section— goals, target market, the problem you are solving, marketing plans, and financial projections. Especially financial projections because you are in business to do what??? Make MONEY!
5) Give it a chance
Give new product or service ideas a real chance before you consider moving on to the next thing.
Once launched, give it at least 6 months and during that time gather feedback and make adjustments as needed based on that feedback.
Still unsure of how to heal shiny object syndrome?
Even with all these techniques, staying focused is still not an easy task for busy entrepreneurs. There are simply too many things calling for our attention.
When I am most needing to stay focused or accountable, I have found the use of an accountability partner or group to be helpful so that I could be more focused on those really big things that will move my business significantly.
If you need help determining whether you have a revenue, expense, profitability, or operations problem, or you simply need help tracking and understanding what is going on in your business, Leslie Taylor can help. As a business solutions expert, she has helped dozens of businesses untangle complex issues and clarify a path to greater profitability. Schedule a Discovery Session with her now.
Want to learn more profitable strategies for your business? Check out Leslie’s free guide 5 Things You Must Do If you Want To Increase Your Profits.
About the contributor:
Leslie Taylor is the Chief Profitability Strategist of Leslie Taylor & Associates Business Solutions where she helps small businesses maximize their potential of profitability.
How to manage your time better using your astrological chart
Have trouble identifying your purpose in life?
Maybe you don't feel all that fulfilled at the end of the day.
Unsure of how to best use your time and energy?
Perhaps you simply want to use your time in a more confident, productive, and joyful way than you already do.
No matter where you are right now… integrating your astrological chart into your schedule, time, and life might be the tool that helps you welcome in the next phase of your life and business.
Read below to discover how to use your chart to be more effective as you work towards your goals AND human.
Co-contributor: Alison Brownell
Let’s learn a little about Astrology
Astrology is the study of how planets and stars influence us.
Everyone has an astrological chart based on the month, day, year, time, and location they were born.
When everyday normal people think about Astrology, they’re often thinking about their Sun sign. Meaning the zodiac sign the Sun was in when they were born.
Thanks to the popularization of astro columns in newspapers in the early 1900s, and the fact that the Sun is straightforward to track because it's in the same place at the same time every year.
However, there are more planets than just the Sun in the sky. Each planet has its own archetype. There are also 12 signs, each representing a key part of life, from health to money to relationships and everything in between.
Where each planet is in the sky on your birth date, is the zodiac sign it’s in.
Our charts tell us so much more than just you’re a Virgo or Capricorn (aka where the Sun was when they were born.)
(If you've ever looked at your zodiac sign and felt disconnected from it, that might be why.)
When you put your birth information into this free chart calculator, you’ll see a complicated-looking circled chart. It’s a list of all the planets and where they were at the time you were born.
Where to look in your chart in terms of managing your time better?
There are two main places in your chart…
Saturn
If you ask yourself: How do I create a life where I feel accomplished and fulfilled? Well, Saturn is the place to look! He's so important in our charts, and yet still gets a bad rap.
Saturn is like that really difficult teacher you had all year, but once you finally graduated, you felt accomplished for making it through.
He's the dude that wants to make sure you’re on the right path – that you're spending your time wisely and doing the things that will help you grow.
Saturn will ask you if you want to spend time on the things you are doing on a macro scale. For example, am I working the right job? Am I studying the right subjects? Am I pursuing the right goals for me?
He’ll also guide you on a micro-scale. For example, Did I take good enough care of myself today? Did I spend time on the things that bring me joy?
Some helpful examples:
If your Saturn is in Pisces, it’s preferable to live and/or work in solitude and in contemplation. Being a remote worker at home? Heck yeah!
People with Saturn in Gemini's strengths include preciseness, accuracy, and logical thinking. They make an excellent teacher or guides.
For Saturn in Cancer, they’d be well suited for businesses related to real estate, home, family, and nurture.
When it comes to managing your time, what you choose to fill it with it’s the most foundational piece and extremely important.
Saturn will tell you (probably, over and over again) what to focus your precious time, energy, and life on depending on what astrological sign he’s in when you were born.
If you want to learn what to best focus your time and energy on, look to Saturn. I recommend you use this free Astrology website to get a breakdown of your Saturn.
Mars
Aside from Saturn, the other most important place to look at, in your chart, is Mars. In Astrology, Mars is associated with confrontation, energy, strength, ambition, and impulsiveness.
Mars is the planet of energy and action, it dictates how you take action. Where to place your time and energy is your Saturn, how to use them is Mars.
It's important to understand your unique rhythms and patterns in order to make the most of your time.
More helpful examples:
If Mars is in Libra… that’s the energy of partnership. So to be able to collaborate with people to get things done is an important piece of your process. Also having a balanced way of looking at projects is key.
Mars in Capricorn, your ambition is strong. This might look like someone who needs to set up their schedule and time around feeling accomplished. They also might tend to work late or on weekends because they’re so driven. (Watch for burnout here!)
Mars in Sagittarius needs to have freedom and doesn't necessarily like to be told how things are done. When it comes to traditional time management, time blocking might feel super restrictive for these people.
How to apply your unique Saturn and Mars to your schedule?
Look up your Saturn. What sign was Saturn in when you were born?
Look up your Mars. What sign was Mars in when you were born?
Write down the things about each planet’s sign that resonate with you.
Take Saturn’s sign and think about it in terms of your goals and how you spend your time on a macro and micro level.
Take Mars’s sign and think about it in terms of your rhythms, energy, scheduling, and how you take action.
Want to build a schedule that’s sustainable, unique to you, and in alignment with your astrological chart?
Book a sustainable Schedule VIP day to get organized and be more efficient with your time (while still being human!) now.
About the co-contributor:
Alison Brownell has been studying astrology and reading charts for nearly fifteen years. Combining this information with coaching and communication skills honed as a former college counselor, Alison is able to help you connect to your highest self in a way that feels mystical yet practical, and always empowering.
5 Powerful healing herbs for moments of stress and recovery
The nervous system weaves the connection from our brain, mind, emotions, and intentions with our physical body.
It helps us communicate with the world around us through movement, touch, taste, smell, and perception and regulates our internal environment through breath, circulation, digestion, and so much more.
So, when our nervous system is dysregulated, we can feel dysregulated physically, mentally, and emotionally.
If you’re running a business, your nervous system gets deregulated quite frequently.
From nerve-wracking sales conversations, long hours, feelings of overwhelm, and the pressure of making money to pay the bills… it’s a lot.
However, when you take care of your mind, body, and spirit, life and business become so much easier.
Read this guest blog post to learn how healing herbs can take better care of you, your nervous system, and your business.
Written by: Andie Inscoe, MS (she/her)
Why are herbs so important?
Short- and long-term stress can interrupt the healthy function of the nervous system and the harmonious function of the body as a whole.
This leaves us feeling stressed, anxious, depleted, overwhelmed, tense, and restless, with poor digestion, low energy, susceptibility to sickness, and overall weakened resilience.
Herbs offer a gentle hand when we are going through stressful times or enduring the ever-present stressors of modern life.
The phytochemicals in plants communicate directly with our cells, protect and support the healthy structure and function of tissues, organs and harmonize the whole body.
Healing herbs have the power to soothe and relax the mind, body, and spirit, restore nerve tissue, increase the body’s resilience to stress, provide nutrients and minerals, support the immune system and digestion, improve sleep quality, and so much more.
5 Powerful healing herbs
Chamomile
Latin name: Matricaria recutita
Part used: Flower
Herbal actions:
Relaxes the nervous system
Eases digestive troubles
Aromatic
Reduces spasms
Mildly sedating
Chamomile is a friend when stress brings you into the space of feeling physically and mentally agitated, overwhelmed, very emotional, or “fussy” by your surroundings. It settles stomach tension, cramping, and upset caused by nervousness or uneasiness. It is a calming flower, with a mild sedative quality that eases anxiety before bedtime and calms nightmares.
Preparation(s):
Infusion - add 1-2 tsp to 1 cup of recently boiled water. Cover and allow to steep for 15-20 minutes. Strain and enjoy.
Tincture - 1-5 dropperfuls, 1-4 times daily in a little water
Rose
Latin name: Rosa spp.
Part used: Buds
Herbal actions:
Ease the heart
Elevate mood
Reduces stress
Aromatic
Relaxes the nervous system
Reduces tension
Aphrodisiac
Calming to the heart and mind
Rose’s loving gifts center around the heart. Rose is a tried and true remedy for stress surrounding grief, loss, depression, anxiety, and emotional shock, especially involving loved ones, love affairs, and any emotions felt strongly in the heart space. It calms, relieves tension, and lightly elevates the mood. Rose is useful when feeling a lack of self-love or when wanting to enhance love and intimacy for yourself or with others.
Preparation(s):
Infusion - add 1/2-1 tsp to 1 cup of recently boiled water. Cover and allow to steep for 15-20 minutes. Strain and enjoy.
Tincture - 10 drops to 1 dropperful, 3 times daily in a little water
Rose Hydrosol - spray around and inhale 2-3 deep breaths, as needed
Milky Oat Tops
Latin name: Avena sativa
Part used: Milky tops
Herbal actions:
Nutritive, mineralizing
Tonify and restore healthy function to nerve tissue & the nervous system
Uplifting to the spirit
Milky Oat Tops bring strength and restoration when stress has been chronic or long-term, bringing vitamins and minerals to nourish and replenish a depleted system. Oat Tops encourage recovery from intense overwork, overwhelm; feelings of fatigue, depletion; physical and mental exhaustion; and particularly stressful periods of time or illness. It is gently calming and brings along a sense of long-needed wellbeing.
Preparation(s):
High mineral, nutritive infusion - lightly grind ½-1 cup herbs and add to 1 quart of recently boiled water, allow to steep 8 hours to overnight. Strain and enjoy.
Skullcap
Latin name: Scutellaria lateriflora
Part used: Aerial parts
Herbal actions:
Tonify and restore healthy function to nerve tissue & the nervous system
Reduces spasms
Induces sleep
Reduces anxiety
Skullcap is called upon when having trouble relaxing, with tension tightening especially around the head, neck, and shoulders. When stress results in an overactive mind causing mental, emotional, and physical irritation, that may result in light spasms. There may be feelings of anxiety, overwhelm, panic, or oversensitivity to light, sounds, or textures. Skullcap is especially calming at night, as it soothes the mind and body and encourages sleep and restfulness, and can be helpful if stress is keeping you from sleeping.
Preparation(s):
Infusion - add 1-2 tsp to 1 cup of recently boiled water. Cover and allow to steep for 15-20 minutes. Strain and enjoy.
Fresh plant tincture - 1-4 dropperfuls, 1-3 times per day in a little water (MUIH)
Reishi Mushroom
Latin name: Ganoderma lucidum
Part used: Mushroom fruiting body
Herbal actions:
Increases non-specific resiliency to stress (adaptogen)
Immune supportive
Calming to the spirit
Antioxidant
Cardiotonic
Reishi carries when there is long-term stress where the immune system may be compromised, with frequent sickness, colds, and flus. When stress is unyielding and there is a necessity to shoulder through, Reishi mushrooms increase our resiliency to consistent stressors, provide protective mechanisms for the nervous system, and enhance immunity. It is calming and uplifting to emotions, the spirit, and an overactive nervous system.
Preparation(s):
Pre-extracted powder or capsules - 1 g, twice per day
Dual extract tincture - 1-5 dropperfuls, 3 times per day in a little water
Tips for sourcing bulk healing herbs and herbal products
It’s important to look for the Latin Name of a plant when sourcing to make sure you’re getting what you’re looking for. Some plants with the same common name can come in many varieties or even be completely different plants in different places!
You want to use reputable sources to avoid unethical harvesting, adulteration, and poor quality. Plant compounds are only as rich as the soil they were grown in.
Always consider the sustainability of harvesting and growing practices, and at-risk status of plants. Click here to review my favorite resource for this.
Bulk herbs
When possible, buy local! Mountain Rose Herbs has a directory of local herb growers by region.
Pacific Botanicals (online retailer)
Mountain Rose Herbs (online retailer)
Tinctures
Learn how to make your own! There are many online and print resources available for Herbal Medicine Making. I recommend:
Pre-extracted Mushroom Powders
Which healing herbs are you interested in incorporating into your life?
Let us know in the comments below!
A Note on Botanical Safety: All information is provided solely as a personal resource for maintaining optimal health and wellbeing. The information provided is not medical advice. Herbs are not intended for the treatment of disease, injury, physical, or mental ailment. Always consult your healthcare provider when taking herbs with specific conditions or while taking medications.
References:
Notes and teachings from the Master’s of Science in Therapeutic Herbalism program at the Maryland University of Integrative Health. Courses taught by Andrew Pengelly & Betsy Miller.
Notes and teachings from Matthew Wood from the Matthew Wood Institute of Herbalism.
Sajah Popham, Advanced Clinical Herbalism: The Nervous System [PDF Document].
Sharol Tilgner, Herbal Medicine from the Heart of the Earth.
Thomas Easley & Steven Horne, The Modern Herbal Dispensatory.
About the Contributor
Andie Inscoe (she/her) is a clinical herbalist with a Master’s of Science in Therapeutic Herbalism from the Maryland University of Integrative Health. Tailoring herbal remedies, lifestyle, and food recommendations, Andie offers virtual herbal consultations for creating sustainable practices that support nourishment, balance, and healthy function of the mind, body, and spirit.
Andie is passionate about working alongside folks who feel run down and at odds with their health/lifestyles, want to connect more fully with nature, and are looking to dig deeper and connect with their own fundamental ability to life and healing. Together they seek to understand what’s going on underneath symptoms and strategize ways to best support themselves in this moment.
3 Ways generational trauma impacts your ability to be your own boss
I’ve noticed as of late, we are having a more open dialogue about the impact of childhood traumas.
We may find it easy to notice how our trauma shows up in our relationships, but what about how it may show up in our work environments and career choices?
Specifically with wanting to be our own boss.
It’s easy to want to go off on your own when you are sick and tired of other people telling you what to do.
What happens when you take the leap and become your own boss?
Unresolved trauma can prevent you from getting what you truly want–freedom, flexibility, and success.
Whether you’re in the beginning stages of entrepreneurship or have already taken the plunge, it’s so important to be mindful of past traumas.
In this blog, you’ll discover what generational trauma is and list 3 ways that old childhood trauma may show up in your ability to be your own boss.
Written by: Susan Abdel-Haq, LMFT
What is generational trauma?
Trauma is a term that we are starting to have more and more conversations about. Gone are the days when we contextualized “trauma” as being just “ an emotional response to a terrible event.
The reality is that trauma doesn’t just exist as isolated and single incidents.
According to GoodTherapy.org, “Intergenerational trauma (sometimes referred to as trans- or multigenerational trauma) is defined as trauma that gets passed down from those who directly experience an incident to subsequent generations.
Intergenerational trauma may begin with a traumatic event affecting an individual, traumatic events affecting multiple family members, or collective trauma affecting larger community, cultural, racial, ethnic, or other groups/populations (historical trauma).”
This can largely show up in how we were disciplined, raised, and even the messages that we get growing up that shape our core beliefs about ourselves and others.
These patterns are sometimes overt but oftentimes they are more unconscious and require more self-reflection.
How childhood trauma affects your success
Taking patterns from old work environments
Are you…
Valuing the product and services you provide (Aka charging what you are worth)?
Creating a traditional 8 am to 5 pm schedule that previously burned you out?
Holding on to this belief that in order to “make it”, you have to be working 24/7 and answering emails past the work time that you want?
Unfortunately, a lot of work environments may also be reinforcing old beliefs that are no longer helpful such as “You aren’t doing enough”, “You don’t get a say”, or even that your value is solely based on what you “produce”.
It can be easy to repeat old toxic work patterns, but you get to break away from all of that.
You get to create a schedule that you want!
YOU are your own boss now and get to create an income and lifestyle that works for you.
Check back in with the reasons why you left your old position to be your own boss. Are you repeating them?
If your current work setup feels all too familiar, then it could be a sign to make some changes.
Self-Limiting Beliefs
Limiting beliefs about yourself and what you are capable of achieving are often common for folks who have generational trauma.
Examples are:
“That probably won’t work for me”
“No one would pay me for that”
“I could never have what that person has”
When you come from a household where there is trauma such as neglect, emotional abuse, or dysfunctional modeled behavior, it can be extremely hard to release old narratives.
A way to break these patterns is to first start to notice when you are having these self-limiting beliefs then remind yourself why you want to become your own boss in the first place.
Is it to leave a greater impact? Triple your income? Work less? Meet more people?
Embrace the new narrative!
Boundaries (or lack thereof)
Most folks would agree that boundaries are important. However, boundaries are harder to set and enforce when they weren’t healthily modeled in your childhood.
When there has been trauma, people tend to steer in one direction (either being more rigid with no room for flexibility or being too loose and not feeling in control).
There is also often doubt when it comes to your overall judgment and follow-through of boundaries.
Take a moment to really think about what your limits are. Consider things like:
What drains me of my energy?
How many hours do I want to work?
What times do I want to be available?
When/how do I want to respond to inquiries/clients?
Don’t worry if you don’t have it all figured out.
Remember that boundaries evolve over time and give you many opportunities to trial and error certain things.
How to achieve what you really want: Be a good boss to yourself
When you treat yourself well, that’s when you achieve fulfillment, be more productive, and experience more energy.
Imagine how much easier it’ll be to achieve your goals.
However, if you’re struggling with making the most of your time, generational trauma might be impacting you.
As with anything, you can’t change what you can’t see.
That’s why having these 3 ways childhood trauma impacts your ability to be your own boss in your awareness is so beneficial.
The process to becoming your own boss isn’t easy and requires a lot of internal work. However, there is a strength that comes from surviving trauma and that same strength will ultimately lead you to success!
Always remind yourself that being your own boss takes so much courage and vulnerability.
And when in doubt, always go back to why you started your own business, make sure your needs come first, and reach out for support from trusted therapist or coach.
Want to feel confident, in control, and at peace with your time? Click here to get free + supportive resources!
About the contributor
Susan Abdel-Haq, LMFT is a trauma informed licensed psychotherapist practicing in California. Susan is trained in both EMDR and Brainspotting and enjoys integrating other modalities in her clinical work. She is passionate about holding space for people to work through the hard stuff and tap into their strengths. Susan specializes in working with folks who are struggling with relational trauma, Narcissistic abuse recovery, toxic family of origin work, people-pleasing, substance-use disorders, anxiety, and exploring aspects of their cultural identity to work towards healing.
Franco, D. F. (2021, January 7). Understanding intergenerational trauma: An introduction for clinicians. GoodTherapy.org Therapy Blog. Retrieved June 10, 2022, from https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/Understanding_Intergenerational_Trauma
*Disclosure: I only recommend products I would use myself and all opinions expressed here are our own. This post may contain affiliate links that at no additional cost to you, I may earn a small commission. Read full privacy policy here.
Feeling overwhelmed in life? Take a deep breath with this powerful story.
Have you seen that meme that’s like…
“I’m just trying to survive while working 8 hours a day, while being a parent, while starting a side hustle, while making sure my house stays somewhat clean, while also trying to take care of myself?”
Amy was living that day in and day out.
Joy? Forget about it.
If you’re living that right now too, I see you.
Take a deeeep breath.
Maybe another one.
And another.
While you may want to burn everything to the ground today, I’m here to remind you that something different is possible.
A overwhelm and stress-free (or at least a looooot less) might feel impossible today, and as a holistic time coach, I’m here to remind you it is possible.
Let Amy’s story give you hope that a life full of ease, peace, and balance can happen for you too.
Want the journey towards that life to be a lot easier (and quicker)? I invite you to work with me!
Tell us who you are and what you do.
My name is Amy Cissell. I’m a USA Today Bestselling Author of paranormal women’s fiction, paranormal romance, and contemporary fantasy. And I’m a day jobber.
What was your business and life like before you began working with me?
I was overwhelmed & felt guilty about being overwhelmed.
I had too many things to do, unrealistic goals, and a fear of saying no to more and more.
I was balancing parenting, a day job, an insane writing schedule, a side hustle, and taking care of house stuff.
I felt terrible and worked from 7 am - 10 or 11 pm almost every day, less dinner times.
I took almost zero time to take care of myself, and I didn't even know what was important.
What doubts did you have before working together?
I really didn't think anything would change. I didn't know HOW it could.
There was so much to do and unless this was magic "make more time/time turner" situation, there was no way to get through my to-do lists any faster or to cure the procrastination that I felt so guilty about.
I worried it would be a gigantic waste of money.
What surprised you about working with me?
It was so fun! And positive. I learned things about myself - something I didn't expect after 4.5 decades of living and a million therapists.
What has happened in your life or business since we worked together?
I have learned to say no.
I scaled back my side hustle (editing for indie authors) to my two favorite clients in 2022 and made sure that everyone knows I'm not available for more.
I planned my 2022 writing schedule with realism so I won't find myself stressed and overwhelmed about my goals.
I was able to take a leap to a new day job that will pay more and better benefits knowing that it's not forever and I can make everything work without feeling like I've done too much.
I've made more on royalties in 2021 than ever before, and my editing business is booked through 2022, so I know what my income stream will look like.
I have discovered what I enjoy about NOT working, and although it's sometimes still a struggle, I no longer feel (very) guilty when I take that time for myself.
I take every other Sunday completely off work, and every other Saturday off after 3 pm.
I take time in the mornings to enjoy my solitude before jumping into my schedule.
What would you say to someone considering hiring Becca?
It's literally life-changing.
I work less, have waaaaaaay less stress, and am getting at least as much done.
I've remembered what gives me joy and try to link everything I have to do with that.
I don't have to find joy in my day job, but I can find joy BECAUSE of it.
I have the money to do things I love to do and I know that there is no reason to always be on 100% all the time.
Ready to go from feeling exhausted and overwhelmed to having time for yourself, rest, and everything else your soul is craving?
Click here to schedule a no-pressure consult call with me now.
A practical guide to applying your human design type to your schedule
“Human beings have a right to be their own authority.” -Ra Uru Hu (founder of HD)
Hell yeah, they do!
Have you been trying to figure out how to get things done in a way that feels really good to you?
Without getting overwhelmed or super rigid in your approach?
Maybe you've been wondering how to fill your agenda with activities that make you feel like you're living your purpose on an energetic or soul level?
Yep, I hear these questions so often as a holistic time coach.
Let’s be real… traditional advice around time blocking and scheduling often makes us feel like failures in some way or another.
However, thanks to Ra Uru Hu, we do have the right to be our own authorities, especially when it comes to our precious time.
When you apply your human design to your schedule, it becomes so much easier to design your day to feel good to you and your soul. Continue reading to learn how!
This blog post is an expanded version of my Instagram Live conversation with Lexie Sparrow.
What is Human Design?
Human Design is a self-knowledge system. Similar to astrology, your chart is calculated based on when and where you were born.
However, Human Design combines Kabbalah, I'Ching, Myers-Briggs, astrology, biochemistry, genetics, and the chakra system all in one into this one big super-system.
Your chart tells you about your conscious and your subconscious gifts which are extremely helpful not only in your life but in business as well.
Conscious gifts are innate or things that you are generally aware of, for example, being a natural-born leader or speaking what other people are feeling.
Subconscious gifts are ones that we aren't necessarily aware of, but other people see in us.
Your chart can also tell you what some of your roadblocks are going to be. Because with your gifts also comes the opposite, which will be the challenges and the spaces where you can learn and grow.
What are the human design types?
The first place to start on your chart is called your energy type. Your type tells you when you're most productive, how you know when to do something, and signs that you’re on the right track. Which, as you know deeply impact how you spend your time.
Think of the Enneagram or Myers-Briggs self-assessments, if you’ve ever heard of them. For the Enneagram, you get a number. With Myers Briggs, you get a four combination. Human Design you get a type.
Your energy type is like the model of a car. But as we all know, there are different years that car was made, there are different colors, different interiors, or different add-ons. So this is like the very beginning of your design and a great place to start when diving into it.
There are five main types which I’ll go into each below: Generator, Manifesting Generator, Manifestor, Projector, and Reflector.
Generator
(AKA: The speeding train)
Yes, a train takes a while to get going, but once that train is going, it's going to take a lot for it to stop. This is what the generator energy is like.
You have a bunch of energy, most especially when you’re excited about something. But because it’s hard to stop doing something when your sights are set on something, it's important to wait until you know this is something I have to do.
Now it's not always possible to just work on things that we love to do. This is when delegating (or outsourcing) can come in and really support you.
How to apply your type when you’re designing your schedule:
Be sure it feels good to you. Create your calendar around the things that feel exciting, or a “hell yes” often as possible, and especially early each day and week.
Once you know when you’re most energized, it’s easy to create and stick to a rhythm making it easy to re-create into a reliable weekly agenda.
Refer back to your vision or goal in each time block description or task you add, especially for the things that you have to do but don’t love doing.
Include reminders to slow down, pause, or log off at the end of each day.
Group similar projects or goals together in your schedule so you can go deep and fast.
Take moments to look back at your schedule to look and celebrate all you’ve done.
Manifestor
Manifesterors are initiators, independent, quick starters, and change-makers. This energy is often described as a pushing energy. Manifestors are like, “I'm going here today, you can come with me if you feel like it and if you don't, then don't come with me, but I'm going.”
You are “supposed to” use your energy to inform people about what you’re actually going to do and allow others to follow along.
How to apply your type when you’re designing your schedule:
You need space to follow your energetic urges for what you want to work on and to be impulsive. But you also need some boundaries and systems in place, because otherwise nothing will ever get finished. Create a calendar that is essentially the bare minimum structure so you can accomplish the things that need to get done but still can react to things, change your mind, and flow.
Have a big to-do list somewhere, and then at the start of each day, add into your calendar the specific tasks that feel like a “hell yeah!”
If you’re finding you're just not finishing projects, reach out and hire a VA to keep you accountable or do all the small tasks you don’t want to do.
Your energy fluctuates so do not expect yourself to have an everyday morning and evening routine.
Wondering how to create a schedule made for you?
Digital Calendars For Humans will teach you how.
Manifesting Generator
MG’s have a ton of energy like a generator, but just as a manifestor does every day looks different. They are the original multi-passionate human. They can multitask and love to use their energy in many different ways.
How to apply your type when you’re designing your schedule:
Do not add anything that doesn’t excite you in some way in your schedule or back yourself into a corner by doing one thing a day (you probably won’t feel very accomplished at the end of that day).
Give yourself lots of options with some structure that generally feels aligned with your energy. I call this intuitive calendar management!
Put time caps on things, and maybe not to cap where you have to end it but like have a little check-in with yourself to make sure you’re still excited about it.
Have a big to-do list somewhere, and then at the start of each day, add into your calendar the specific tasks that feel like a “hell yeah!”
Remind yourself it’s okay to work on like five or six different things in a day, but keep track of where you started and finished on each project.
Projector
(AKA: The lighthouse)
Here we have a non-energy type. What does that mean? They don’t have much of their own energy and they derive energy from other people. They are generally called the non-workers. Efficiency (work smarter, not harder) is the name of their game.
However, you can quickly burn yourself out by kind of stealing other people's energy, so to speak. So rather look at output energy versus input energy. Output energy is things that are really going to drain you or steal your energy (ie, meetings, calls, or teaching). Input energy will give you energy back (ie, learning, studying, and being creative).
How to apply your type when you’re designing your schedule:
Batch output vs. input days or make sure that you’re balancing output activities with input activities every day and week.
Implement short work sprints and build in more rest breaks. For example, Wednesdays off instead of working the whole week and having to wait for the weekends.
Plan your weeks in a relaxed state, perhaps in your bed or on the couch with candles and music.
Sign up for regular co-working dates to leverage the energy of others.
Design your days in alignment with your natural gifts and talents. What are you really good at doing? How might you apply that to your time?
Struggle to follow traditional time blocking advice? Click here to read my top 5 secrets.
Reflector
We have another non-energy being. The rarest of the population, coming in at 1% of people. Reflectors don't have consistent energy. What often happens is they're picking up on other people's energy all the time which it can be really hard for them to figure out how they actually feel about what decisions they want to make.
If you’ve ever been around someone who’s excited and working hard, it’s easy for you to follow along (generally).
How to apply your type when you’re designing your schedule:
Include a lot more time to work on and sit with things so you can really figure out what's best for you in the big picture, not just in that moment.
Schedule things at least one month or two in the future so you have plenty of time and space to change your mind, make decisions, and tweak things.
Dedicate time to tune out the noise, go inwards, and come back to your truth. Regularly.
Creating a system of repeating tasks to automate things so you don’t have to think about them is amazing for you.
Apply unique-to-you boundaries to protect your energy within your agenda.
Grab your human design chart for free
Click here to go to the website I used to find my Human Design chart.
There are also a lot of amazing human design readers who will sit down with your chart and give you a customized reading which you can then integrate those findings into your calendar and time management.
However, beware! It can be easy to collect information and tools like Human Design without integrating and seeing the huge benefits in your life.
Integrate your Human Design Type.
Get the most out of your time.
Grab Digital Calendars For Humans now.
About the co-contributor:
Lexie Sparrow is a Holistic business strategist who helps coaches, healers, and wellness entrepreneurs build sustainable businesses online using tools like human design. Learn more about Lexie.
*Disclosure: I only recommend products I would use myself and all opinions expressed here are our own. This post may contain affiliate links that at no additional cost to you, I may earn a small commission. Read full privacy policy here.
Why time management books might not help you manage your time better
Why time management books don't help you manage your time better
It’s summer 2022. That means fewer work hours, more adventures, and a lot more reading for me. Personally, I have no goal in terms of the number of books I’ll read. However, I’ve read 16 books so far this year... and I have no plans to stop!
If you struggle with spending your time how you want to, focusing, getting things done, or procrastinating less, I'm guessing you're planning to read a time management book (or maybe, five) this summer.
Before you pick up any books, you need to know why most time management books don't actually help you manage your time better!
My hope is that this blog will either convince you to read romance fiction instead (😂) or help you make the most of any book you have or will read so you can truly start spending your time how you want to.
What’s wrong with time management books?!
I’m going to say this bluntly (with love). Almost every time management book claims it’ll help you...
accomplish more in less time
work less and take off more
find time for relaxation
take better care of yourself
feel less stress and anxiety
Yet the chance of that actually happening is slim to none. Why?
If they did deliver on their promises, 201,000 people a month wouldn’t be searching for time management help still.
Millions of people wouldn’t be working 50-60+ hours a week or unable to take off without feeling guilty.
Of course, another question is…Is it the advice that’s bad or is it the inability to integrate the advice given? I’ll get back to that in a sec.
For many reasons, the very concept of productivity books isn’t working.
The main reason is: You have to make time to read a book… that’s supposed to give you more time?
As you are merely trying to get everything done in your business and life, reading and integrating the tips in any book become yet another thing for you to do.
Blegh.
What if the time you spent reading about time management books, you spent listening to what you needed?
What do you want to do with your time? How might you make that happen? The strategies that you come up with are 10x more likely to work anyways.
This is what I support my clients with as a holistic time coach. Click here to read more about working with me.
Of course, sometimes we do need strategies from outside to experiment with, which is where time management books can help us. Here’s my best advice:
How to best use time management books
(In my “expert” opinion)
1. Take them with a big grain of salt
I used to read time management books that promised I'd become a productive magical unicorn if I followed their advice. I'd get all excited, thinking I'd finally figured out all my problems, try to implement the advice, and then discover it didn't work for me.
Or, it would work for a little bit… until they didn’t. So I’d move on to the next book while internalizing that something is wrong with me.
Does this cycle sound familiar at all?
The productivity industry has convinced us of three things: we need to be better or different, it will fix us, and if it doesn’t, something is wrong with us… not it.
When you approach any struggle in your life with any shame or guilt about who you are, progress is nearly impossible.
So before we go any further… I’d like to tell you that you are amazing. You don’t need to be fixed. Nothing is wrong with you.
Read the time management books that make you feel good about yourself, that align with your values, and laugh at the books or pieces of advice that don’t.
Don’t find any time management books that do that? Consider working with me!
2. Shift your expectations
Most of the folks I coach have really high expectations of themselves and feel like they should already know how to perfectly get things done and manage their time.
On top of that, time management books have an underlying assumption of: “You’ll be able to get everything done one day following my advice, and that’s when you can relax.”
Most productivity books and tips are imbued with toxic productivity and hustle culture. Read more about toxic productivity and how it impacts you here.
Your high expectations, societal pressure, and the underlying tone of toxic productivity only lead to overworking, more stress, and exhaustion. Yep, you read that right. Time management books often share advice that does the literal opposite of what they say they’ll help you get.
Time management isn’t easy.
Choosing what to do with your life and actually doing it is terrifying.
A book won’t make that decision for you.
When you read a time management book with a lot lower expectations, it will be much easier to throw out the things that don’t feel good to you.
3. Make them fit you, not the other way around
The people that write books about productivity, or create apps and programs, are sharing what works best for them.
Speaking of, did you know most productivity tips, apps, and strategies are made for software developers and engineers? Makes sense they don’t work for the majority of people!
That being said, you will most likely never find a time management book out there that has been made by someone in the exact same situation that you are in right here, right now. Unless you’ve written a time management book!
Yes, there will probably be some time management tips, strategies, books, and things out there with people similar to where you are but at the end of the day, there is no one exactly like you.
Which is a beautiful thing. However, it does make it a little bit more difficult to manage your time in a unique-to-you way.
What do you do? You get to create your own rules!
When you read a book, think of it as reading about someone else’s rules. Then ask yourself what rules of theirs make sense or feel good to you?
At the end of the day… the best time management strategy: How can you be more you?
4. Small changes, seriously.
I know so many people preach small changes and progress. But if you’re anything like me… we just want to get it all done as quickly as possible and keep moving.
Again, if you're already struggling with time, you don't have time to read books, and then implement all the information they throw at you.
When anyone attempts to change a ton of things about how they organize and spend their days and weeks, it will be extremely overwhelming and unhelpful. It will end in throwing everything out, and starting over.
It’s important to choose one to three small (I’m looking at you!) shifts that feel good and you’d want to make after reading any time management book.
Now that we’re here, to answer my previous question: “Is it the advice that’s bad or is it the inability to integrate the advice given?”
It’s both/and. Some advice really sucks, but other times, we try to change too much at once when we’re already stretched thin on time.
That said, the jury is still out for me whether time management books help people manage their time better. After reading this, what do you think? Will you read any time management books this summer? Let me know in the comments below.