Calendar Management: Why your intuition is more important than you think
What happens when we spend hours creating a plan and schedule that would work in an ideal world but doesn’t hold up with life’s unexpected twists and turns?
Many of my clients end up getting overwhelmed, sitting in indecision, and sometimes even giving up on planning altogether. This leads to lots of frustration, disappointment, and time wasted.
If this is you, I see you.
Many factors can throw off our carefully planned schedules, and it’s difficult to navigate these obstacles with confidence.
When it comes to creating adaptable and flexible plans (that don’t feel like a prison), your intuition is so important.
Your digital calendar is one of the best places to plan with and practice trusting your intuition.
In this post, I’ll guide you through how to identify your intuition, why it’s so hard to listen to, the benefits of using your intuition in your calendar management, and give you helpful tangible examples.
What is your intuition?
To me, my experience of intuition is simply a gut response to a decision, big or small, without necessarily having logical reasoning for it. Intuition can show up as a physical sensation, imagery, synchronicities, patterns, and more.
Curious about all the ways your intuition might be showing up? Check out Bustle’s 14 signs your intuition is speaking to you.
Also, personally, human design has also really helped me tap into my intuition. As a manifesting generator, I have a sacral (or gut) yes or no response to external stimuli and decisions.
However, at the end of the day, your experience of your intuition is what matters most.
What is YOUR experience of your intuition? How does it show up for you? Comment below and let me know!
Why is it so difficult to listen to your intuition?
For many reasons. The 3 biggest that I see are:
It’s almost impossible to tap into your intuition when you’re tired, overwhelmed, anxious, stressed out, in your head, or busy. If you’re often in these states… that’s your answer.
We confuse fear, critical, or “should” voice as intuition. (My intuition shows up as neutral, calm, and clear.)
Intuition isn’t often honored as an important business or time management skill/strategy in our culture. Even though 85% of CEOs in this one study confirmed that intuition was central to their decision-making process
We all have intuition, whether we realize it or not.
The more we understand it, the more we can apply it to better our lives.
The massive benefits of listening to your intuition
Honestly, the benefits of listening to yourself reach far and wide. But when it comes down to it, you get days that add up to a life more beautiful than you could ever imagine.
Listening to your intuition allows you to live a life true to you.
What’s better than that?
My clients, and I, often feel like we need proof to trust more. If you’re like us… I can confidently say you already have proof!
Ask yourself, “What’s happened in the past when I’ve listened to my gut?”
Ease, flow, peace, accomplishment, success, abundance. For me?
Changing my offerings in my business, then selling them out.
Choosing to become a digital nomad and experiencing more peace and freedom than ever before.
Being super tired, putting my work down, opening Netflix for a brain break, and watching an episode that gave me tons of ideas allowing me to return and accomplish what I was doing way faster and easier.
What’s happened in the past when you HAVEN’T?
Frustration, guilt, resentment, suffering, pain, delays, and spending loads of time and energy overthinking and NOT making a decision.
Some more personal examples:
Forcing myself to do a workshop with someone, spending a month marketing, and having to cancel it because of the low attention and excitement it received.
Attempting to be a morning person and work out first thing, always being miserable when I do it and when I don’t guilt-trip myself.
Not deciding what to do with my day so just go along with whatever comes up in my inbox, and ending the day feeling like I did nothing.
How do I use my intuition in my digital calendar?
Now you know what intuition is, how it shows up for you, and how important it is to listen to it.
Unfortunately, time management or calendar management advice rarely recommends you listen to your intuition.
The typical advice is to time block your whole day or week to the minute and perfectly stick to it. Then, if you can’t then something is wrong with you.
Good thing I’m not your average time management coach!
I know it’s nearly impossible to perfectly stick to your schedule every day, all day, AND be happy. I wouldn’t even want to anymore.
So, let’s start with what calendar management even is.
What even is calendar management?
Calendar management is the process of prioritizing your time and managing your life through the use of a calendar(1).
I use my digital calendar to organize and manage everything in my business and life. It’s basically my personal assistant, and it’s free!
Linking calendar management and your intuition
You can use your intuition when you’re creating a daily or weekly to-do list and/or schedule.
You can also flex your intuition throughout the day and week by moving time blocks around when you feel like doing the thing.
Tangible examples of intuitive calendar management
Asking yourself how your schedule feels to you.
Leaving gaps to move around tasks when you feel like doing them.
Dragging and moving time blocks/containers around without guilt.
Using language that feels good to you when naming events.
Putting tasks when you’re most energized, creative, and excited.
Scheduling time to work on goals and dreams that are deeply important to you in your calendar so they finally happen!
Ask yourself, “What it would look like to use my intuition more in my calendar?”
When you use your intuition in your calendar, you can…
Trust and listen to yourself more, leading to more peace and fulfillment.
Make decisions that will give you the freedom you want.
Have more energy, be more productive (in the good way), and be happy with yourself and how you spent your time.
Your intuition is the most important, yet underrated, time and life management skill out there.
Now you know how crucial it is…
Intuitive scheduling and time blocking? Yes, please!
Enroll in Digital Calendars For Humans now.
3 Ways generational trauma impacts your ability to be your own boss
I’ve noticed as of late, we are having a more open dialogue about the impact of childhood traumas.
We may find it easy to notice how our trauma shows up in our relationships, but what about how it may show up in our work environments and career choices?
Specifically with wanting to be our own boss.
It’s easy to want to go off on your own when you are sick and tired of other people telling you what to do.
What happens when you take the leap and become your own boss?
Unresolved trauma can prevent you from getting what you truly want–freedom, flexibility, and success.
Whether you’re in the beginning stages of entrepreneurship or have already taken the plunge, it’s so important to be mindful of past traumas.
In this blog, you’ll discover what generational trauma is and list 3 ways that old childhood trauma may show up in your ability to be your own boss.
Written by: Susan Abdel-Haq, LMFT
What is generational trauma?
Trauma is a term that we are starting to have more and more conversations about. Gone are the days when we contextualized “trauma” as being just “ an emotional response to a terrible event.
The reality is that trauma doesn’t just exist as isolated and single incidents.
According to GoodTherapy.org, “Intergenerational trauma (sometimes referred to as trans- or multigenerational trauma) is defined as trauma that gets passed down from those who directly experience an incident to subsequent generations.
Intergenerational trauma may begin with a traumatic event affecting an individual, traumatic events affecting multiple family members, or collective trauma affecting larger community, cultural, racial, ethnic, or other groups/populations (historical trauma).”
This can largely show up in how we were disciplined, raised, and even the messages that we get growing up that shape our core beliefs about ourselves and others.
These patterns are sometimes overt but oftentimes they are more unconscious and require more self-reflection.
How childhood trauma affects your success
Taking patterns from old work environments
Are you…
Valuing the product and services you provide (Aka charging what you are worth)?
Creating a traditional 8 am to 5 pm schedule that previously burned you out?
Holding on to this belief that in order to “make it”, you have to be working 24/7 and answering emails past the work time that you want?
Unfortunately, a lot of work environments may also be reinforcing old beliefs that are no longer helpful such as “You aren’t doing enough”, “You don’t get a say”, or even that your value is solely based on what you “produce”.
It can be easy to repeat old toxic work patterns, but you get to break away from all of that.
You get to create a schedule that you want!
YOU are your own boss now and get to create an income and lifestyle that works for you.
Check back in with the reasons why you left your old position to be your own boss. Are you repeating them?
If your current work setup feels all too familiar, then it could be a sign to make some changes.
Self-Limiting Beliefs
Limiting beliefs about yourself and what you are capable of achieving are often common for folks who have generational trauma.
Examples are:
“That probably won’t work for me”
“No one would pay me for that”
“I could never have what that person has”
When you come from a household where there is trauma such as neglect, emotional abuse, or dysfunctional modeled behavior, it can be extremely hard to release old narratives.
A way to break these patterns is to first start to notice when you are having these self-limiting beliefs then remind yourself why you want to become your own boss in the first place.
Is it to leave a greater impact? Triple your income? Work less? Meet more people?
Embrace the new narrative!
Boundaries (or lack thereof)
Most folks would agree that boundaries are important. However, boundaries are harder to set and enforce when they weren’t healthily modeled in your childhood.
When there has been trauma, people tend to steer in one direction (either being more rigid with no room for flexibility or being too loose and not feeling in control).
There is also often doubt when it comes to your overall judgment and follow-through of boundaries.
Take a moment to really think about what your limits are. Consider things like:
What drains me of my energy?
How many hours do I want to work?
What times do I want to be available?
When/how do I want to respond to inquiries/clients?
Don’t worry if you don’t have it all figured out.
Remember that boundaries evolve over time and give you many opportunities to trial and error certain things.
How to achieve what you really want: Be a good boss to yourself
When you treat yourself well, that’s when you achieve fulfillment, be more productive, and experience more energy.
Imagine how much easier it’ll be to achieve your goals.
However, if you’re struggling with making the most of your time, generational trauma might be impacting you.
As with anything, you can’t change what you can’t see.
That’s why having these 3 ways childhood trauma impacts your ability to be your own boss in your awareness is so beneficial.
The process to becoming your own boss isn’t easy and requires a lot of internal work. However, there is a strength that comes from surviving trauma and that same strength will ultimately lead you to success!
Always remind yourself that being your own boss takes so much courage and vulnerability.
And when in doubt, always go back to why you started your own business, make sure your needs come first, and reach out for support from trusted therapist or coach.
Want to feel confident, in control, and at peace with your time? Click here to get free + supportive resources!
About the contributor
Susan Abdel-Haq, LMFT is a trauma informed licensed psychotherapist practicing in California. Susan is trained in both EMDR and Brainspotting and enjoys integrating other modalities in her clinical work. She is passionate about holding space for people to work through the hard stuff and tap into their strengths. Susan specializes in working with folks who are struggling with relational trauma, Narcissistic abuse recovery, toxic family of origin work, people-pleasing, substance-use disorders, anxiety, and exploring aspects of their cultural identity to work towards healing.
Franco, D. F. (2021, January 7). Understanding intergenerational trauma: An introduction for clinicians. GoodTherapy.org Therapy Blog. Retrieved June 10, 2022, from https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/Understanding_Intergenerational_Trauma
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The Truth About Time Pressure (Why You Always Feel Rushed)
The unsettling truth about time pressure (and why it's not your fault)
The meaning of time pressure
How often do you feel pressed for time or catch yourself rushing through the day?
Often? You’re not alone. According to Gallup Poll in 2015, 48% of Americans said they don't have enough time.
That right there is time pressure.
The Conversation defines time pressure as “…how rushed or pressed for time people feel on a daily basis”. It also relates to whether individuals perceive they have sufficient time to do what they need or want to do (including time for work, family, leisure, travel, study, volunteering or exercise).”
Time pressure can also be known as time scarcity, time poverty, or time anxiety.
The impacts of living with time scarcity
If you’re an entrepreneur or a self-development fan, I am sure that you have read about, taken courses, or done some healing work around a scarcity mindset when it comes to money.
Time poverty is no different.
According to the American Psychological Association, a scarcity of resources, including financial resources, shapes everyone’s decisions and behaviors. Living with scarcity drains mental resources and increases negative emotions, which narrows our focus and impacts our day-to-day decisions.
When you’re focused on a resource(s) being limited or running out, it takes you out of the present moment and prevents you from living the life you want to live.
Scarcity creates additional stress and anxiety, which we know now the massive impacts of stress on our bodies and minds.
Time pressure has a significant and negative impact on your ability to effectively manage your time, grow your business, and live your life.
I do also have to mention that some folks feel more motivated and work well under deadlines which is an acute form of time pressure. However, when you have a chronic feeling that there are simply too few hours in the day, that’s when the negative impacts start to set in.
Why time anxiety is not your fault
I do an exercise with my holistic time coaching clients to get a gauge on any time pressure or anxiety they have.
Often, they're shocked about how many negative thoughts they have around time that adds to felt time pressure.
Some common thoughts are:
“I'm always late”
“I'm so behind”
“I can’t believe it’s already (insert month/year)”
“I'm way too slow”
“I'm so busy”
“I don't have the time”
“I never have enough time”
“I don't have time to relax” or “I'll relax when I'm done”
“I'm not productive”
“I waste so much time”
(Notice any over-generalizations or all-or-nothing thinking?)
Once my clients start noticing their time scarcity mindset in their lives and business, it’s a lot easier to make decisions and create sustainable time management strategies to mitigate other time pressures.
The three biggest questions that I asked myself when I started healing my time scarcity mindset were:
What did I see and learn from my parents, caregivers, and those around me as a kid, growing up around time?
What do I currently think and feel about time?
Why do I believe them? Why do I think they're true?
Personally, I realized that I had adopted a scarcity worldview from my childhood, education system, and previous wage-labor jobs. My clients are frequently in the same situation.
Time anxiety is not limited to just your or my personal experiences though. We also need to investigate who or what taught so many people that what we get done is insufficient or that there is never enough time.
Time poverty is a societal (and systemic) issue
Mindset work can feel gaslight-ey.
Thoughts are hard to catch. Especially when you don’t or you feel like you don’t have enough time.
Not enough time is 100% real, nor are all 24 hours the same for everyone.
I appreciate that the APA states that any negative actions connected to scarcity are not the fault of individuals experiencing a form of poverty; scarcity research indicates that these are universal processes.
I mean…if in 2015, 154 million Americans said they felt time scarcity, it makes sense to me that it's a systemic issue just as any other large-scale issue is.
This is where I always come back to the negative impacts of capitalism.
Redflag shares, “The competitive drive to accumulate wealth through the exploitation of human labour is the starting point for understanding capitalism and oppression.”
Human lives (aka our time!) are the most important resource to profit on the planet.
There will never be enough time to get everything done. It’s literally impossible.
This is why the traditional time management and productivity advice encouraging us to get more work done, faster leaves us exhausted and confused.
Time abundance and liberation are possible
Feeling a lack of time is one of the things that is easy to revert back to. It’s normalized and engrained to think, say, and communicate to the people in our lives about how busy we are and how little time we feel we have.
I want to make sure I share with you that there is hope.
Time abundance (feeling like you have more than enough time) and time liberation (feeling free around how you spend it) are possible for you. I believe they are possible for everyone.
Both require individual AND systemic shifts, that are equally important.
Individually, if you want more time, or at least to feel like you have more time, in your life TODAY, I suggest starting with your thoughts rather than anywhere else.
Why?
Because if you have a time scarcity mindset, you will never have enough time no matter what planner, calendar, hack, or tool you try.
Addressing your time beliefs can make a huge difference in your relationship with time and really support you in managing your time more aligned with your values.
What’s coming up for you after reading the unsettling truth about time scarcity? Feel free to comment below. I’d love to support your investigation, healing, and thriving.