Why a holistic approach to time management is so powerful
Feel like you're constantly running on a hamster wheel, with time slipping away faster than you can catch up?
Are you struggling to juggle all of your responsibilities, while also trying to make time for the things that matter most to you?
If so, I hear you. And you’re not alone.
In our world which is full of distractions and pressures, being intentional with your time is more important than ever.
But traditional approaches to time management fall short.
A holistic approach to time management offers a powerful solution.
Rather than focusing solely on productivity and efficiency, a holistic approach considers all aspects of your life and creates a more sustainable and balanced approach to managing your time.
In this post, we'll explore what a holistic approach to time management is and why it actually works.
If you're ready to feel like yourself and live your life the way you want to, keep reading!
What is a holistic approach to time management?
A holistic approach to time management goes beyond simply organizing tasks and schedules.
This radical way of managing time explores the interconnectedness of all the areas of life such as work, relationships, environment, finances, and your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
It recognizes that time is a precious and limited resource. It aims to help you make conscious, intentional decisions about how you spend your time to experience a greater sense of purpose, satisfaction, and overall well-being.
At the core of holistic time management is you. Your values, your priorities, and long-term vision.
It believes that when you are well, everything else is easier. Much easier.
Because of this, a holistic approach to time management is inherently anti-capitalist.
When you spend your time in a way that prioritizes enoughness, fulfillment, and wellness, you are challenging the dominant, capitalist narratives around time and productivity.
Holistic time management helps you resist the societal pressure to work longer hours and prioritize work/doing/productivity above all else. It helps you reclaim your life and live the way you want to.
My application of holistic time management also acknowledges that time is not only an individual problem or solution, it’s a collective one. How we’re able to spend our time is directly connected to the systems we live in and the privileges and support we have.
What happens when you don’t use a holistic approach to time management
Time management was founded by a fellow engineer, Frederick Winslow Taylor (the author of The Principles of Scientific Management published in 1911).
The goal of traditional time management? Optimizing productivity and efficiency to complete as many tasks as possible in the shortest amount of time, with the hope that if you get everything done, you can rest and relax.
The problem with this thinking? Work and to-dos never end.
Traditional time management does not take into account individual rhythms and needs and ignores the beautiful, magical, intuitive, and unpredictable-ness of life.
Trying to manage our time in a capitalist and extractive way leaves us feeling shame, failure, isolation, guilt, unrealistic expectations, falling behind, stress, exhaustion, overwhelm, and burnout.
It’s no wonder we’re exhausted, we’re still using many of his (and other neurotypical, middle-class, white male) principles.
Time management with a holistic approach actually works
A holistic approach to time management actually works because it recognizes and honors the fact that you are a unique and whole, human being.
And it emphasizes self-knowledge, mindfulness, compassion, trust, and intuition.
If you have trauma, a chronic illness, are neurodivergent, or are simply a human who doesn’t want to live exhausted on autopilot, holistic time management is here for you.
It’s about more than just checking off tasks on a to-do list.
It's about identifying and crafting an easeful life around your values and priorities. It also acknowledges and addresses the societal factors and deeper beliefs that cause you to feel overwhelmed, stressed out, or short on time.
Holistic time management will give you the skills, mindsets, and tools you need to finally have time for everything that’s important to you, including space to rest, have fun, and enjoy your days.
A holistic approach to time management allows you to engage with a life beyond being a cog in the machine.
You get to accomplish your goals while experiencing a life full of peace and freedom.
You get to be the person you want to be.
To create the art and beauty you want to see in the world.
And to experience more ease and joy than you’ve ever felt.
What’s more important than that?
Hire me as your time coach to create time for everything that’s important to you, including space to rest, have fun, and enjoy your life!
5 Life lessons learned as a full-time traveling entrepreneur in 2022
This year was an adventure.
I started 2022 dancing in Ljubljana, the capital of Slovenia. We spent the winter venturing through Italy–Trieste, Venice, Florence, and Rome. We went on to meet great friends in Porto, Portugal in February.
Took a trip to the US to visit family (and a short detour in Mexico) over the spring. Hopped back across the pond to spend the summer in Madeira, Portugal with said friends from Porto.
For the fall season, we checked out of the Schengen Zone and to Croatia where we visited Dubrovnik, Hvar, and Zagreb.
Now I’m writing this from Greece where we’ll be celebrating Christmas, and ringing in the first two months of 2023 in Cyprus.
This year I will have traveled to 11 countries, and I would say lived in (trips longer than a week) 5 countries.
All while running a successful online coaching business.
After taking a moment to pause and reflect on 2022, here are my life lessons learned this year. (In no particular order).
As well as how I’ll take each lesson ahead into the new year with me to continue growing and thriving.
Life lessons learned in 2022
This is the third time I’m doing a yearly recap, which means I’m approaching 3 years as a holistic time management coach this upcoming January! Woohoo!
As someone whose main passion in life is to just be more of herself, it’s really cool to be able to go back and read past life lessons. It’s amazing to see my healing and progress and say, “Yep! I’m still living and now teaching these lessons I learned two years ago.”
<<Read my life lessons learned in 2021 and 2020>>
Here’s to all of us becoming more of ourselves! 🥂✨
Life Lesson One: Get comfy with uncertainty.
As a digital nomad, I have no idea where I’ll live two months from now. As a business owner, I have no guarantee of a paycheck. When I first started traveling full-time back in July 2020, the uncertainty was absolutely terrifying. To the point of losing hair, tears, and many sleepless nights.
I wanted to be in as much control of my life as I feel like I could be. I wanted to feel at home within myself, no matter where in the world I was. Most importantly, I wanted to get out of my box and see the world. And all of those desires continued to outweigh my anxiety and worry, so I kept on.
It took about 2 years of traveling full-time to get to the place where I landed this summer: Comfortable with uncertainty. At one point, I had no idea where I was going to live the next week. I’ve learned how to be okay with not knowing where I’ll live or where my next client comes from.
I trust that no matter what, I can and will figure it out.
This is a huge, massive, ginormous life lesson that’s taken a lot to learn. However, the amount of peace that I live with is totally worth the effort. So with this, I plan to continue to travel in 2023, let the places I want to live call to me, run my business, and see what happens.
Though, if you’re like, “Yo, you went to an extreme for this life lesson…” you’re right. This leads me to lesson number two.
Life Lesson Two. Find the gray zone.
Black-or-white thinking sucks.
For example, hustle culture and anti-hustle culture. Hustle culture tells us we are worthy if we work all the time, feel exhausted, disregard needing breaks, and neglect our health. Anti-hustle culture says if we’re working hard, we’re doing it wrong. Success in business is somewhere in the messy middle.
Another example, oppressive society and culture tell us we have no agency over our time. Spiritual gurus gaslight us and tell us we have complete agency over our time. The agency we have is somewhere in the messy middle.
Want another? Rigidity versus openness. We’ve been taught time management, structure, and schedules need to be super rigid. Due to anti-hustle culture, many of us have tossed out all structure in the seek for freedom. Structure that truly benefits us is somewhere in the messy middle.
Everything we do and are as humans are in the messy middle ground. The balance between masculine and feminine or yin and yang. As I approach the new year, I want to use this life lesson learned to be even more creative with solutions to any frustration, new ideas, places to travel, and just life in general.
Life Lesson Three. I create my own time paradigm.
As I travel across time zones and cultures, I realize more than ever how deep the societal construct of time runs within us. From what time we should wake up, eat meals, work, and go to bed… it’s all made up. And vaguely changes depending on what country you’re in.
You could make your new year tomorrow if you wanted. Literally.
Of course, with a “normal” job and external constraints, the more you’ll live in society’s construct of time. However, over the last 2.5 years, I have been reclaiming more and more agency over my time (see lesson 2) by choosing how much I want to subscribe to society’s time construct.
The more I define and live within my own time construct, the more manageable my life feels.
So as of now, I’m taking this lesson learned by fully stepping into cyclical planning with my astrological chart. No more going back and forth between the moons and the gregorian calendar.
What this looks like is: I’ll be essentially letting go of months in the traditional sense and planning completely aligned with each new moon. My “new year” will be celebrated on July 23rd, the Leo (my ascendant) new moon.
I’m allowing things on a day-to-day level, and a macro level to take as much time as they want to take. I’m learning more about mother earth and indigenous wisdom.
Life Lesson Four. This shit really works.
As I enter my fourth year of developing holistic time management and coaching people, I am still astounded every time one of my clients creates literal magic.
From starting podcasts, writing books, making tons of money, starting businesses, traveling the world, managing teams more effectively, healing deep wounds, and creating trust and safety within. I’ve witnessed so many amazing humans accomplish deeply meaningful goals and finally be the person they want to be all because they teamed up with time.
Absolutely magical. ✨
Not to brag or anything, but on a personal note, I feel like everyone right about now (late Nov/early Dec) is t.i.r.e.d. where I’m feeling really energized and good. I’ve taken lots of breaks, short and long, throughout the year. I’ve imperfectly stayed balanced while focused on and aligned with my priorities.
I knew this before, but this year I feel like I finally understand it on a deeper, more holistic level with each day and with each person I get to work with.
With this life lesson, I plan to continue healing my own time misunderstandings and doing this deeply meaningful and important work of holistic time coaching.
Life Lesson Five. My home is inside of me.
In November this year, as I traveled on a Bus from Croatia to Bosnia, it finally hit me. There are buses, trees, roads, dogs, construction, and clouds everywhere on this planet.
The only thing that stays constant throughout is me. My heart. My mind. My body.
This life lesson may seem obvious, but it wasn't to me as someone who sought her worthiness and fulfillment through productivity and achievements. My happiness and peace were dependent on my external success and the approval of others.
If this year has taught me anything, what keeps me healthy and makes me successful is listening to myself, my joy, and my gut. Period.
I can leave places and situations that suck. I can speak up for myself. I can do what I need to do to feel safe.
It’s my job to build a strong home for myself, and protect it at all costs.
This is what holistic time management is all about, and I’m excited to see what the next 6 months bring as I now celebrate the new year in July!
What lessons did you learn in 2022?
I’d love to hear in the comments below or send me a DM on Instagram.
Is 2023 the year you get more intentional around your time?
Click here to learn how time coaching can help you thrive in the coming year.
How to manage your time better using your astrological chart
Have trouble identifying your purpose in life?
Maybe you don't feel all that fulfilled at the end of the day.
Unsure of how to best use your time and energy?
Perhaps you simply want to use your time in a more confident, productive, and joyful way than you already do.
No matter where you are right now… integrating your astrological chart into your schedule, time, and life might be the tool that helps you welcome in the next phase of your life and business.
Read below to discover how to use your chart to be more effective as you work towards your goals AND human.
Co-contributor: Alison Brownell
Let’s learn a little about Astrology
Astrology is the study of how planets and stars influence us.
Everyone has an astrological chart based on the month, day, year, time, and location they were born.
When everyday normal people think about Astrology, they’re often thinking about their Sun sign. Meaning the zodiac sign the Sun was in when they were born.
Thanks to the popularization of astro columns in newspapers in the early 1900s, and the fact that the Sun is straightforward to track because it's in the same place at the same time every year.
However, there are more planets than just the Sun in the sky. Each planet has its own archetype. There are also 12 signs, each representing a key part of life, from health to money to relationships and everything in between.
Where each planet is in the sky on your birth date, is the zodiac sign it’s in.
Our charts tell us so much more than just you’re a Virgo or Capricorn (aka where the Sun was when they were born.)
(If you've ever looked at your zodiac sign and felt disconnected from it, that might be why.)
When you put your birth information into this free chart calculator, you’ll see a complicated-looking circled chart. It’s a list of all the planets and where they were at the time you were born.
Where to look in your chart in terms of managing your time better?
There are two main places in your chart…
Saturn
If you ask yourself: How do I create a life where I feel accomplished and fulfilled? Well, Saturn is the place to look! He's so important in our charts, and yet still gets a bad rap.
Saturn is like that really difficult teacher you had all year, but once you finally graduated, you felt accomplished for making it through.
He's the dude that wants to make sure you’re on the right path – that you're spending your time wisely and doing the things that will help you grow.
Saturn will ask you if you want to spend time on the things you are doing on a macro scale. For example, am I working the right job? Am I studying the right subjects? Am I pursuing the right goals for me?
He’ll also guide you on a micro-scale. For example, Did I take good enough care of myself today? Did I spend time on the things that bring me joy?
Some helpful examples:
If your Saturn is in Pisces, it’s preferable to live and/or work in solitude and in contemplation. Being a remote worker at home? Heck yeah!
People with Saturn in Gemini's strengths include preciseness, accuracy, and logical thinking. They make an excellent teacher or guides.
For Saturn in Cancer, they’d be well suited for businesses related to real estate, home, family, and nurture.
When it comes to managing your time, what you choose to fill it with it’s the most foundational piece and extremely important.
Saturn will tell you (probably, over and over again) what to focus your precious time, energy, and life on depending on what astrological sign he’s in when you were born.
If you want to learn what to best focus your time and energy on, look to Saturn. I recommend you use this free Astrology website to get a breakdown of your Saturn.
Mars
Aside from Saturn, the other most important place to look at, in your chart, is Mars. In Astrology, Mars is associated with confrontation, energy, strength, ambition, and impulsiveness.
Mars is the planet of energy and action, it dictates how you take action. Where to place your time and energy is your Saturn, how to use them is Mars.
It's important to understand your unique rhythms and patterns in order to make the most of your time.
More helpful examples:
If Mars is in Libra… that’s the energy of partnership. So to be able to collaborate with people to get things done is an important piece of your process. Also having a balanced way of looking at projects is key.
Mars in Capricorn, your ambition is strong. This might look like someone who needs to set up their schedule and time around feeling accomplished. They also might tend to work late or on weekends because they’re so driven. (Watch for burnout here!)
Mars in Sagittarius needs to have freedom and doesn't necessarily like to be told how things are done. When it comes to traditional time management, time blocking might feel super restrictive for these people.
How to apply your unique Saturn and Mars to your schedule?
Look up your Saturn. What sign was Saturn in when you were born?
Look up your Mars. What sign was Mars in when you were born?
Write down the things about each planet’s sign that resonate with you.
Take Saturn’s sign and think about it in terms of your goals and how you spend your time on a macro and micro level.
Take Mars’s sign and think about it in terms of your rhythms, energy, scheduling, and how you take action.
Want to build a schedule that’s sustainable, unique to you, and in alignment with your astrological chart?
Book a sustainable Schedule VIP day to get organized and be more efficient with your time (while still being human!) now.
About the co-contributor:
Alison Brownell has been studying astrology and reading charts for nearly fifteen years. Combining this information with coaching and communication skills honed as a former college counselor, Alison is able to help you connect to your highest self in a way that feels mystical yet practical, and always empowering.
A practical guide to applying your human design type to your schedule
“Human beings have a right to be their own authority.” -Ra Uru Hu (founder of HD)
Hell yeah, they do!
Have you been trying to figure out how to get things done in a way that feels really good to you?
Without getting overwhelmed or super rigid in your approach?
Maybe you've been wondering how to fill your agenda with activities that make you feel like you're living your purpose on an energetic or soul level?
Yep, I hear these questions so often as a holistic time coach.
Let’s be real… traditional advice around time blocking and scheduling often makes us feel like failures in some way or another.
However, thanks to Ra Uru Hu, we do have the right to be our own authorities, especially when it comes to our precious time.
When you apply your human design to your schedule, it becomes so much easier to design your day to feel good to you and your soul. Continue reading to learn how!
This blog post is an expanded version of my Instagram Live conversation with Lexie Sparrow.
What is Human Design?
Human Design is a self-knowledge system. Similar to astrology, your chart is calculated based on when and where you were born.
However, Human Design combines Kabbalah, I'Ching, Myers-Briggs, astrology, biochemistry, genetics, and the chakra system all in one into this one big super-system.
Your chart tells you about your conscious and your subconscious gifts which are extremely helpful not only in your life but in business as well.
Conscious gifts are innate or things that you are generally aware of, for example, being a natural-born leader or speaking what other people are feeling.
Subconscious gifts are ones that we aren't necessarily aware of, but other people see in us.
Your chart can also tell you what some of your roadblocks are going to be. Because with your gifts also comes the opposite, which will be the challenges and the spaces where you can learn and grow.
What are the human design types?
The first place to start on your chart is called your energy type. Your type tells you when you're most productive, how you know when to do something, and signs that you’re on the right track. Which, as you know deeply impact how you spend your time.
Think of the Enneagram or Myers-Briggs self-assessments, if you’ve ever heard of them. For the Enneagram, you get a number. With Myers Briggs, you get a four combination. Human Design you get a type.
Your energy type is like the model of a car. But as we all know, there are different years that car was made, there are different colors, different interiors, or different add-ons. So this is like the very beginning of your design and a great place to start when diving into it.
There are five main types which I’ll go into each below: Generator, Manifesting Generator, Manifestor, Projector, and Reflector.
Generator
(AKA: The speeding train)
Yes, a train takes a while to get going, but once that train is going, it's going to take a lot for it to stop. This is what the generator energy is like.
You have a bunch of energy, most especially when you’re excited about something. But because it’s hard to stop doing something when your sights are set on something, it's important to wait until you know this is something I have to do.
Now it's not always possible to just work on things that we love to do. This is when delegating (or outsourcing) can come in and really support you.
How to apply your type when you’re designing your schedule:
Be sure it feels good to you. Create your calendar around the things that feel exciting, or a “hell yes” often as possible, and especially early each day and week.
Once you know when you’re most energized, it’s easy to create and stick to a rhythm making it easy to re-create into a reliable weekly agenda.
Refer back to your vision or goal in each time block description or task you add, especially for the things that you have to do but don’t love doing.
Include reminders to slow down, pause, or log off at the end of each day.
Group similar projects or goals together in your schedule so you can go deep and fast.
Take moments to look back at your schedule to look and celebrate all you’ve done.
Manifestor
Manifesterors are initiators, independent, quick starters, and change-makers. This energy is often described as a pushing energy. Manifestors are like, “I'm going here today, you can come with me if you feel like it and if you don't, then don't come with me, but I'm going.”
You are “supposed to” use your energy to inform people about what you’re actually going to do and allow others to follow along.
How to apply your type when you’re designing your schedule:
You need space to follow your energetic urges for what you want to work on and to be impulsive. But you also need some boundaries and systems in place, because otherwise nothing will ever get finished. Create a calendar that is essentially the bare minimum structure so you can accomplish the things that need to get done but still can react to things, change your mind, and flow.
Have a big to-do list somewhere, and then at the start of each day, add into your calendar the specific tasks that feel like a “hell yeah!”
If you’re finding you're just not finishing projects, reach out and hire a VA to keep you accountable or do all the small tasks you don’t want to do.
Your energy fluctuates so do not expect yourself to have an everyday morning and evening routine.
Wondering how to create a schedule made for you?
Digital Calendars For Humans will teach you how.
Manifesting Generator
MG’s have a ton of energy like a generator, but just as a manifestor does every day looks different. They are the original multi-passionate human. They can multitask and love to use their energy in many different ways.
How to apply your type when you’re designing your schedule:
Do not add anything that doesn’t excite you in some way in your schedule or back yourself into a corner by doing one thing a day (you probably won’t feel very accomplished at the end of that day).
Give yourself lots of options with some structure that generally feels aligned with your energy. I call this intuitive calendar management!
Put time caps on things, and maybe not to cap where you have to end it but like have a little check-in with yourself to make sure you’re still excited about it.
Have a big to-do list somewhere, and then at the start of each day, add into your calendar the specific tasks that feel like a “hell yeah!”
Remind yourself it’s okay to work on like five or six different things in a day, but keep track of where you started and finished on each project.
Projector
(AKA: The lighthouse)
Here we have a non-energy type. What does that mean? They don’t have much of their own energy and they derive energy from other people. They are generally called the non-workers. Efficiency (work smarter, not harder) is the name of their game.
However, you can quickly burn yourself out by kind of stealing other people's energy, so to speak. So rather look at output energy versus input energy. Output energy is things that are really going to drain you or steal your energy (ie, meetings, calls, or teaching). Input energy will give you energy back (ie, learning, studying, and being creative).
How to apply your type when you’re designing your schedule:
Batch output vs. input days or make sure that you’re balancing output activities with input activities every day and week.
Implement short work sprints and build in more rest breaks. For example, Wednesdays off instead of working the whole week and having to wait for the weekends.
Plan your weeks in a relaxed state, perhaps in your bed or on the couch with candles and music.
Sign up for regular co-working dates to leverage the energy of others.
Design your days in alignment with your natural gifts and talents. What are you really good at doing? How might you apply that to your time?
Struggle to follow traditional time blocking advice? Click here to read my top 5 secrets.
Reflector
We have another non-energy being. The rarest of the population, coming in at 1% of people. Reflectors don't have consistent energy. What often happens is they're picking up on other people's energy all the time which it can be really hard for them to figure out how they actually feel about what decisions they want to make.
If you’ve ever been around someone who’s excited and working hard, it’s easy for you to follow along (generally).
How to apply your type when you’re designing your schedule:
Include a lot more time to work on and sit with things so you can really figure out what's best for you in the big picture, not just in that moment.
Schedule things at least one month or two in the future so you have plenty of time and space to change your mind, make decisions, and tweak things.
Dedicate time to tune out the noise, go inwards, and come back to your truth. Regularly.
Creating a system of repeating tasks to automate things so you don’t have to think about them is amazing for you.
Apply unique-to-you boundaries to protect your energy within your agenda.
Grab your human design chart for free
Click here to go to the website I used to find my Human Design chart.
There are also a lot of amazing human design readers who will sit down with your chart and give you a customized reading which you can then integrate those findings into your calendar and time management.
However, beware! It can be easy to collect information and tools like Human Design without integrating and seeing the huge benefits in your life.
Integrate your Human Design Type.
Get the most out of your time.
Grab Digital Calendars For Humans now.
About the co-contributor:
Lexie Sparrow is a Holistic business strategist who helps coaches, healers, and wellness entrepreneurs build sustainable businesses online using tools like human design. Learn more about Lexie.
*Disclosure: I only recommend products I would use myself and all opinions expressed here are our own. This post may contain affiliate links that at no additional cost to you, I may earn a small commission. Read full privacy policy here.
Want to know what I learned this year? My 5 Biggest lessons from 2021
If I had to say one main truth about being on this planet, it’s this:
Life is about learning.
It’s the reason we go to school as kids. In fact, now that I say that… life IS a school.
This makes me giggle now as an adult because ever since I can remember, I loved school. I loved the scent of fresh new books, organizing my planner, and the energy of possibilities.
But just because I loved school, doesn’t mean it was easy.
Just like life, it takes desire, effort, time, dedication, and repetition to learn and more importantly, integrate what we learn.
That’s why I do these year recap blog posts.
One so I can share and connect with you. Two so I can go back, recognize my own progress next year, and continue integrating lessons. Wanna see what I learned in 2020? Click here.
Here’s to us learning, integrating, and living together. 🌱
What I learned this year
(In no particular order)
1) Good rest is the cure
Rest is one of those things that everyone should do more. Especially nowadays with the great resignation and antiwork movements. We’re all preaching rest, rest, rest.
Since burning out in 2013, I’ve been learning and teaching others how to slow down, rest, and heal internalized hustle. I am a rest preacher and truly believe deep down that pausing, resting, taking care of ourselves is the cure to every modern problem we face.
However this year, I integrated this lesson into my bones. In may I was playing tennis with my little brothers while I was home (I never play tennis), and I fell while running after a ball. I thought I rolled my ankle.
My husband told me to try walking on it. I tried, but my body said absolutely not. I went to urgent care and found out, sadly, I broke a bone in my foot.
For the next 4 weeks, I didn’t put a single ounce of weight on my foot. I truly rested it. Then the following 4, I slowly reintegrated weight without trying to push myself.
When it comes to resting most of us rest a little, then feel a lot better and rush back to our to-do lists. We rarely get past that point and experience deep, good, true rest. At least I didn’t prior to 2021.
This year and particular experience taught me about the kind of rest that feels uncomfortable. That feels like our skin is kind of crawling. The rest that makes you feel all the feelings always bubbling beneath the surface, ready and waiting to surface.
And yet, when you get past those initial feelings and get to the good rest…the healing, the renewal, and the peace that comes forth is everything you’ve been looking for.
2) Clear communication is key to business + life
This year I spend quite a lot of time and money learning how to communicate better.
I got so much clarity on my messaging in my business with the help of Lindsay, from Forza Collective. And I graduated from the best holistic coaching certification program ever (in my opinion of course), and am currently in the process of becoming an ICF-certified coach.
I learned just how important communication is for a successful business, relationship, and pretty much…life.
My communication is still a work in progress, as I believe it will always be. But this year I learned how to communicate with so much more clarity, confidence, and ease.
3) Self-expression is my true goal (and vulnerable AF)
When starting a business or embarking on any goal in life, knowing what you really want is something I learned this year.
As humans, we can easily create external measures of success that aren’t actually success to us. For example, as business owners, it’s easy to set a goal (financial or otherwise) because we see others setting similar goals. I’m looking at you… “The American Dream.”
What often happens is we spend a ton of time, energy, money, and precious life working towards that goal to later realize we still aren’t content.
Wouldn’t it be much easier to figure out what success really looked like, instead of waiting until that really de-stabilizing and sorta, depressing point? That’s what I’ve been learning in 2021.
While yes, I need money to pay my bills and take care of myself… when money comes in, I can still feel empty. What I’ve realized success actually looks like is being able to fully express myself (aka communicate), be creative and feel free, and be seen and heard by loved ones and people in my community.
True self-expression is another story, and something I’m focusing on now and in the next year!
4) How to validate myself
Prior to 2021, I was using social media and others to validate myself. That need for validation was a rocky and toxic relationship that I was desperate to get out of.
That’s one of the reasons why I made my word for 2021 was held.
I wanted to learn how to be with myself when difficult situations and emotions arose. I knew holding myself would be the key to letting go of past hurts, doing hard things with more ease, and expressing myself more authentically.
Validating and holding myself has been a work in progress for years but this year was a year of embodying this. I’m also extremely grateful to have Susan Pitler, an amazing somatic therapist, and other groups to support me in this journey.
This year, I’ve learned what it’s like to validate and deeply care for the tender part in my heart. And I learned what it’s like when I forget to validate myself and how much I’m not interested in living a life of shame, guilt, and shoulds.
I’m so grateful for the ability to validate myself in order to express myself and communicate even more in 2022.
5) Trusting me and the universe is a process
We’ve all been on a journey of reckoning with uncertainty over the last 2 years, and I’m no different. When life is uncertain, our tendency is to control as much as possible.
For the business owners I work with and myself that attempt at control looks like rushing around, pushing towards our goals, and scarcity thinking.
The antidote? Trust.
Trusting ourselves, and if you’re spiritual, trusting the universe/higher power/source/your God.
I’ve known this for quite some time, but this year I learned more about the process of trust, what it looks like, and red flags for when I’m lacking in trust.
Anytime I remember and relax into trust, everything feels so much easier.
How can you make your life easier?
To summarize, 2021 has been a year about making my life easier through deeply caring for myself–whether that looks like communicating better, resting, validating myself, or trusting the universe.
Have you reflected on your year and figured out what you’ve learned yet? If not, I have a blog post of self-reflection questions for an end-of-the-year review session. Click here to find out your 2021 lessons now.