A timeline of my life: Why I became a holistic time management coach
My ancestry and how I grew up deeply impacted me & my time.
The legacy my immigrant entrepreneur family left me wasn’t just a strong work ethic. In my family, there was also workaholism, alcoholism, and perfectionism.
My worth was so tied up in my achievements, in 2013, I finished a college term paper from my hospital bed, sick with a deadly intestinal infection (the same one that kills 30,000 Americans every year and would kill my Holocaust-surviving grandfather two years later) because under no condition could I settle for anything less than an A.
My illness and four miserable months of recovery didn’t cure me of my addiction to hustle and achievement.
After college, in 2017, I got a prestigious engineering job working for the US government, just like my grandparents.
But that time did open a crack in the matrix where a tiny, unexpected seed of another way could silently germinate beneath the ongoing chaos.
First I got into yoga, meditation, reiki, and other healing modalities, and then I started my own business teaching yoga.
I continued to go above and beyond for my work and my beloved to-do list and I said yes to everything that promised to maximize my efficiency.
I passed on hanging out with my friends.
I got annoyed with my husband when he tried to hug me because I needed to get shit done.
I injured myself doing yoga trying to relax.
If only I could be more efficient, I thought, I could catch up with everything I had to do, and THEN I could breathe and enjoy some time off. Right…?
Except I was unhealthy and unhappy and I knew what I was doing wasn’t working.
That seed of awareness had germinated, taken root, and was beginning to sprout.
Me hustling for time off was like that bombing for peace saying. It just wasn’t possible.
There was never going to be space for that new life, for the how of making real, lasting change until I let go of what was draining the life out of me.
One day at a time, over the course of years, I healed what fed the hustle and feelings of unworthiness.
I simplified my life and business and gave that sprout what it needed to grow. And grow. And grow…
It took time but my priorities slowly shifted away from proving my worth by some toxic, external definition of success to an internal one of a simple, authentic human experience.
From a tiny seed in a tiny crack, real change began and ultimately led to my work as a Holistic Time Coach and Educator in 2020.
Time is the most precious resource we have. Capitalism and other oppressive systems exploit all of our time and lives in unequal ways.
Traditional time hacks and management systems are built to work with these systems. They are not the cure for our real time-related problems because they’re not designed to help us lead a more fulfilling, more human life.
They’re designed to make us a more productive commodity in the labor force.
Healing individual and collective time wounds is cultural and intergenerational healing.
I'm still on my journey, peeling back the layers of overdoing in order to reclaim the agency I do have over my time and life within the systems we live in.
My thoughts to those of you who’ve cracked open the matrix but don’t yet know the how?
Breathe.
Continue to breathe space into that crack, even when you feel like you should be doing something “more.”
Know that you are worthy not only of your goals, but also of your dreams and the boundaries, priorities, and self-care that will help you realize them.
Then exhale.
Release the hustle, chaos, and control.
Let go of toxic productivity and achievement-based worth that’s been force-fed to us our entire lives.
Working with me is not just about managing time better (though we definitely declutter your calendar and get realistic about your capacity).
It’s about real change.
And real change requires more than a crack in the matrix, more than quick-fix hacks and bandaid tools on deeper wounds.
This is about believing you, just as you are, are worthy of a life well lived, whatever that looks like to you.
All of the clarity, skills, and steps required to create the fulfilling life you desire emerge from here.
If you’re ready to get real about your calendar and your healing, let’s revolutionize your relationship with time and yourself so the life you want–and deserve!–can flourish.
Learn more about working with me.
Partner Works Too Much? Why & What To Do About It
My partner means so much to me. We just celebrated four years (watch this short montage reel I created!) of marriage and it still feels like we’re in the honeymoon phase most days.
I credit much of the strength of our relationship to the healing and growth work I’ve done around time, worth, and success.
Why?
Simply put, time is your life. Time is your presence. And it’s how you show love.
Before I started healing my own misunderstandings around time... I spend most of it working. Not just on my “work-work”. I was always going and doing things.
Without checking everything off my to-do list and successfully achieving all my goals, I didn’t feel deserving of love or partnership.
Where did this leave me? Us?
While I cherished my relationship, it was suffering because of my inability to be with him. I rarely sat still long enough to form a real and deep connection with myself, let alone my partner.
Cue all the frustration, resentment, and guilt.
I created this blog for those of us craving more presence with our partners, our kids, our family members, or even ourselves. Keep reading for an inside look at making time for loved ones, because it is possible to have time for everything that’s important to you. And holistic time management can help get you there.
How do you know if you or your partner works too much?
These are the signs that I personally experience, and my clients’ experience, when we’re not making time for our loved ones.
Frustration, resentment, and/or guilt towards self or partner.
Feeling physically, mentally, or emotionally disconnected from your partner.
Never having time to cook and enjoy meals together.
Feeling unbalanced in domestic duties.
Struggling to not talk about work when you aren’t working.
Any successes you do have feel empty.
Think of something else I haven’t included in the list above? Feel free to share your unique experience in the comments below - who knows, others might be in the same spot.
Why is it so difficult to make time for our partners? We love them!
If your partner works too much or you find it difficult to make time for your partner... You are not alone.
As a time coach, an extremely common goal of my clients is to have more time for their loved ones. They want to know, “why is it so hard to make time for the people I love?”
Often it’s not about a lack of love. It’s because we’ve been taught to place more value on work, money (especially if we’re in survival mode), and success.
Many people label time with loved ones as rest, time off, and/or self-care. As we know, those are some of the most challenging things to actually have time for. We have to flip this inherent prioritization in order to reclaim our time.
If you’re a business owner, this feeling can compound even more. Our businesses feel like our babies in a way, taking time away from them feels impossible. Businesses that are passion-led and mission-based are deeply connected to our purpose.
Want to read more about the truth about the difficulty of taking time off? Click here.
What to do if you or your partner works too much?
The answer to this is a complex one. Because you and your relationships are unique, giving tips and advice doesn’t feel all that useful here.
The best thing I can offer are these three coaching questions:
Is making time for your loved one important to you?
If so, why? What will happen in your life if you make more time for them?
What is ONE small thing you can implement today to be more present with them?
Some steps could look like:
Pause and take a deep breath (or three).
Setting clear expectations with your partner about how you spend your days.
Discover and focus on doing the things you both love to do together.
Heal any limiting beliefs around what’s preventing you from making time for them and being present.
Create time management systems to make the time actually happen. For example, a shared calendar to more openly communicate your schedules. In my Sustainable Schedule VIP Day, I’ve worked with clients to create shared calendars with their partners, for their kids, and a co-parenting schedule. Learn more here.
Adopt a practice mindset where it’s okay to mess up and fail sometimes.
Recognizing the little moments throughout the day.
Notice a trend in all these steps above? They’re all related to time management.
Why time management is so important for good relationships
Simply put, time is your life. Time is your presence. And it’s how you show love.
It’s also how you make money, pay your bills, and find fulfillment in your life.
Making time for everything that’s important and meaningful to you is no doubt a juggling act. I’ll be the first to say it is a constant work in progress. (Yes, even for me… a time coach).
Time management is the most important thing you can focus on because when you effectively accomplish everything you need to, tasks don’t bleed over into your time with your loved ones.
You can relax and enjoy the company of your people without feeling guilty (HUGE!)
When you prioritize and dedicate time and energy to your relationship, it will flourish.
If you are able to tap into the present moment when you’re with your partner, it’ll be a lot easier to feel connected and loved.
The opposite is also true. When you don’t spend time with the people that mean the most to you, the relationship will suffer in some way. Learn more about the benefits of rethinking how you manage your time.
Holistic Time Coaching is your best bet for making time for loved ones
Traditional time management focuses on helping you be your most productive self at work, sometimes at home. When you set goals, create a schedule, or write a to-do list… it’s rarely encouraged or taught to include things like rest, time off, and/or self-care.
If we equate our relationships with those things, it makes complete sense to me that they don’t happen as often as we’d like them to.
Holistic time management understands the entire scope of your life and what’s most important to you, like your relationships. Managing your time with a holistic approach will allow you to be a whole human being.
Learn more about why holistic time management works so well here.
Want your evenings back to spend with your partner (not thinking about work?)
Learn more about 1:1 holistic time coaching.
Don't know how to slow down and enjoy life more? Here's how she did it.
At a point in your life where you’re trying to slow down and enjoy life more yet don’t exactly know where to go from here?
You know a lot of the systems you’ve been using and the old ways of thinking about time and productivity aren’t serving you anymore and you’re not sure what else things could look like?
You’re not alone.
The pandemic has made quite a lot of people
Rethink what they’re doing with their lives
How they spend their time, and
Finally, realize they have needs and desires…like slowing down… they need to listen to.
Learn about how Kasia slowed down and the massive impact it had on her business, relationships, and health.
Tell us who you are and what you do.
Hi! I’m Kasia, a specialist in the field of menstrual cycle disorders, and a graduate of pharmacy and clinical nutritionist at Wiecej Niz Hormony.
Why did you want to work with me?
I was at a point in my life where I was slowing down, and I knew a lot of things I used to do didn’t work for me.
My systems didn’t work because I was trying to fit myself into them, instead of the opposite.
I didn’t know how to create my own flexible structure.
What doubts did you have before working together?
I was trying to figure out if I really needed this or if it was just a whim.
I was worried that I would place all of my future hopes in it, and I didn’t want to do that to myself again.
Of course, financially I wasn’t sure if it was the best time or if it wasn’t worth it…. BUT it was one of the best decisions of my life.
What has been your favorite part so far?
Every part!
I am in the center, and I am able to make decisions for myself. There are no shoulds and pressure.
The space you created for me is so calming and loving.
You ask me so many questions… permission to tell you something, what our next steps are.
I feel taken care of!
What would you say was the biggest thing that changed for you?
I let go of all the shoulds and musts and prioritize myself. Even though it sounds so simple and everyone talks about that, I didn’t do it because I thought there are still things I should do, rules to follow in order to be successful in my life and business. I now put myself first when it comes to my schedule and to-do lists.
My business grew and I earn more money.
I finally know so much more about myself and my needs.
I decluttered my life from so many things that don’t serve me.
I’m so much more in tune with myself, respect myself more, my time more.
My google calendar doesn’t scare me anymore, finally!
…and so much more. I could talk about this forever.
Who would you recommend me to work with?
People who are struggling with finding the perfect time management system.
People who want to live more in tune with themselves, want to discover their values, and want to live a peaceful joyful life.
Any last thoughts?
It was one of the best investments of my life working with you.
It completely transformed my life in a way I couldn’t even believe was possible.
Want earning more money while feeling in tune with yourself to be way less stressful and painful? Apply to work with me here.
5 Critical steps to take when shiny object syndrome is slowing your business growth
Have you ever…
Threw money at a problem only to realize later it didn’t solve your issue?
Found yourself paying for and or taking course after course and not implementing most of what you learned?
Had a million and four ideas for new products or services, and you jump from one idea to the next without really seeing them through?
Answered yes to any of these? You might be suffering from shiny object syndrome.
If business owners aren’t careful, they can easily find themselves trapped by something termed shiny object syndrome.
Find yourself in this boat? Don’t fret! Keep reading to find out how to get your focus back.
Written by: Leslie Taylor & Associates
One of the biggest challenges I have faced in my business and watched my clients face is trying to figure out where to focus limited resources—time and money.
Even though I help entrepreneurs do this by providing them with greater insight into their businesses, the decisions are generally not easy, there are usually additional unknowns, and there is always some level of risk.
If you have been in business for any length of time, you likely understand by now that the name of the game is to figure things out as quickly as possible before you run out of money.
Figuring “it” out refers to understanding the right combination of things that will allow us to see cash flowing into our businesses and ultimately into our pockets. While we want to figure “it” out as soon as possible, sustainable business growth takes time. So, on the one hand, while we can and should learn from others, there are some things we must learn and validate on our own.
Ultimately, no matter how smart the owner, every business has gaps, inefficiencies, and things that no one on the team is good at doing.
Fortunately, there are a million and one options for fixing all the things.
Unfortunately, there are a million and one options for fixing all the things.
What is shiny object syndrome?
Shiny object syndrome is a type of distraction in which an individual is constantly chasing new, different, or the shiniest and most exciting things, and never making real progress.
Shiny object syndrome can distract to the point that a business ultimately fails because it never properly identifies and addresses the critical issues.
As an entrepreneur, you might have suffered from shiny object syndrome if:
You purchased a solution to a problem only to realize later that that particular solution didn’t solve your most pressing issue
You find yourself paying for and or taking course after course or working with coach after coach and not implementing most of what you learned
You have a million and four ideas for new products or services, and you jump from one idea to the next and on to the next…and the next never really seeing them through
If this is you, or has been you at some point in time, here are a few steps you can take.
What to do if you’re experiencing shiny object syndrome?
1) Ask WHY?
Do you have a sales problem, an expense problem, a profitability problem, or an operations problem?
While the cause of the issue could be due to a variety of things, most issues fall within one of these four areas. It is worth noting that it is possible to have some combination of these four.
Often by getting to the core of the problem, it is easier to determine the next action.
A sales problem looks like your business doesn’t have a steady and semi-controllable stream of clients and customers paying for your goods and services. It could be that sales activity is low, or that it fluctuates greatly. Any solutions forward must directly address the sales issue, if not you are wasting time and money.
An expense problem means a business hasn’t assessed its spending for money leaks. The solution forward must help the business look for and correct the money leaks before they run out of resources.
A profitability problem means the business is making sales consistently, but the money in the bank account doesn’t show it. The business has low or no cash even though the money keeps flowing in and clients/ customers are buying. The solution forward should first help identify the source of the profitability problem (pricing, excessive discounting, etc.), then help you address the issue.
An operations problem means that something in the way the business is doing business is keeping it from reaching goals. Maybe one of your employees is overloaded (maybe that is you, the owner), perhaps your customer experience is lacking in some way, or maybe your product has quality issues, or possibly your website is slow and potential clients get frustrated and leave. Again, the solution forward must address the operations issue directly.
2) Set goals for your business
Create goals for your business for the year that include a financial roadmap (budget) and look at your goals daily or weekly.
To stay focused, I keep a copy of my vision posted in my office and try to look at my goals every Monday morning before starting the week.
3) Be accountable to your goals
When considering any solution to grow or improve your business hold it up against your goals.
Possibly, more importantly, hold it up against your budget. How will this be paid for? Cash, loan, credit card, owner financed from personal funds?
4) Plan New Ventures
Vet new product and service ideas through a business plan format.
No, you may not need to create a full-blown business plan, but consider all the sections of a business plan and take the new idea through each section— goals, target market, the problem you are solving, marketing plans, and financial projections. Especially financial projections because you are in business to do what??? Make MONEY!
5) Give it a chance
Give new product or service ideas a real chance before you consider moving on to the next thing.
Once launched, give it at least 6 months and during that time gather feedback and make adjustments as needed based on that feedback.
Still unsure of how to heal shiny object syndrome?
Even with all these techniques, staying focused is still not an easy task for busy entrepreneurs. There are simply too many things calling for our attention.
When I am most needing to stay focused or accountable, I have found the use of an accountability partner or group to be helpful so that I could be more focused on those really big things that will move my business significantly.
If you need help determining whether you have a revenue, expense, profitability, or operations problem, or you simply need help tracking and understanding what is going on in your business, Leslie Taylor can help. As a business solutions expert, she has helped dozens of businesses untangle complex issues and clarify a path to greater profitability. Schedule a Discovery Session with her now.
Want to learn more profitable strategies for your business? Check out Leslie’s free guide 5 Things You Must Do If you Want To Increase Your Profits.
About the contributor:
Leslie Taylor is the Chief Profitability Strategist of Leslie Taylor & Associates Business Solutions where she helps small businesses maximize their potential of profitability.
3 Ways generational trauma impacts your ability to be your own boss
I’ve noticed as of late, we are having a more open dialogue about the impact of childhood traumas.
We may find it easy to notice how our trauma shows up in our relationships, but what about how it may show up in our work environments and career choices?
Specifically with wanting to be our own boss.
It’s easy to want to go off on your own when you are sick and tired of other people telling you what to do.
What happens when you take the leap and become your own boss?
Unresolved trauma can prevent you from getting what you truly want–freedom, flexibility, and success.
Whether you’re in the beginning stages of entrepreneurship or have already taken the plunge, it’s so important to be mindful of past traumas.
In this blog, you’ll discover what generational trauma is and list 3 ways that old childhood trauma may show up in your ability to be your own boss.
Written by: Susan Abdel-Haq, LMFT
What is generational trauma?
Trauma is a term that we are starting to have more and more conversations about. Gone are the days when we contextualized “trauma” as being just “ an emotional response to a terrible event.
The reality is that trauma doesn’t just exist as isolated and single incidents.
According to GoodTherapy.org, “Intergenerational trauma (sometimes referred to as trans- or multigenerational trauma) is defined as trauma that gets passed down from those who directly experience an incident to subsequent generations.
Intergenerational trauma may begin with a traumatic event affecting an individual, traumatic events affecting multiple family members, or collective trauma affecting larger community, cultural, racial, ethnic, or other groups/populations (historical trauma).”
This can largely show up in how we were disciplined, raised, and even the messages that we get growing up that shape our core beliefs about ourselves and others.
These patterns are sometimes overt but oftentimes they are more unconscious and require more self-reflection.
How childhood trauma affects your success
Taking patterns from old work environments
Are you…
Valuing the product and services you provide (Aka charging what you are worth)?
Creating a traditional 8 am to 5 pm schedule that previously burned you out?
Holding on to this belief that in order to “make it”, you have to be working 24/7 and answering emails past the work time that you want?
Unfortunately, a lot of work environments may also be reinforcing old beliefs that are no longer helpful such as “You aren’t doing enough”, “You don’t get a say”, or even that your value is solely based on what you “produce”.
It can be easy to repeat old toxic work patterns, but you get to break away from all of that.
You get to create a schedule that you want!
YOU are your own boss now and get to create an income and lifestyle that works for you.
Check back in with the reasons why you left your old position to be your own boss. Are you repeating them?
If your current work setup feels all too familiar, then it could be a sign to make some changes.
Self-Limiting Beliefs
Limiting beliefs about yourself and what you are capable of achieving are often common for folks who have generational trauma.
Examples are:
“That probably won’t work for me”
“No one would pay me for that”
“I could never have what that person has”
When you come from a household where there is trauma such as neglect, emotional abuse, or dysfunctional modeled behavior, it can be extremely hard to release old narratives.
A way to break these patterns is to first start to notice when you are having these self-limiting beliefs then remind yourself why you want to become your own boss in the first place.
Is it to leave a greater impact? Triple your income? Work less? Meet more people?
Embrace the new narrative!
Boundaries (or lack thereof)
Most folks would agree that boundaries are important. However, boundaries are harder to set and enforce when they weren’t healthily modeled in your childhood.
When there has been trauma, people tend to steer in one direction (either being more rigid with no room for flexibility or being too loose and not feeling in control).
There is also often doubt when it comes to your overall judgment and follow-through of boundaries.
Take a moment to really think about what your limits are. Consider things like:
What drains me of my energy?
How many hours do I want to work?
What times do I want to be available?
When/how do I want to respond to inquiries/clients?
Don’t worry if you don’t have it all figured out.
Remember that boundaries evolve over time and give you many opportunities to trial and error certain things.
How to achieve what you really want: Be a good boss to yourself
When you treat yourself well, that’s when you achieve fulfillment, be more productive, and experience more energy.
Imagine how much easier it’ll be to achieve your goals.
However, if you’re struggling with making the most of your time, generational trauma might be impacting you.
As with anything, you can’t change what you can’t see.
That’s why having these 3 ways childhood trauma impacts your ability to be your own boss in your awareness is so beneficial.
The process to becoming your own boss isn’t easy and requires a lot of internal work. However, there is a strength that comes from surviving trauma and that same strength will ultimately lead you to success!
Always remind yourself that being your own boss takes so much courage and vulnerability.
And when in doubt, always go back to why you started your own business, make sure your needs come first, and reach out for support from trusted therapist or coach.
Want to feel confident, in control, and at peace with your time? Click here to get free + supportive resources!
About the contributor
Susan Abdel-Haq, LMFT is a trauma informed licensed psychotherapist practicing in California. Susan is trained in both EMDR and Brainspotting and enjoys integrating other modalities in her clinical work. She is passionate about holding space for people to work through the hard stuff and tap into their strengths. Susan specializes in working with folks who are struggling with relational trauma, Narcissistic abuse recovery, toxic family of origin work, people-pleasing, substance-use disorders, anxiety, and exploring aspects of their cultural identity to work towards healing.
Franco, D. F. (2021, January 7). Understanding intergenerational trauma: An introduction for clinicians. GoodTherapy.org Therapy Blog. Retrieved June 10, 2022, from https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/Understanding_Intergenerational_Trauma
*Disclosure: I only recommend products I would use myself and all opinions expressed here are our own. This post may contain affiliate links that at no additional cost to you, I may earn a small commission. Read full privacy policy here.
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