Why a holistic approach to time management is so powerful
Feel like you're constantly running on a hamster wheel, with time slipping away faster than you can catch up?
Are you struggling to juggle all of your responsibilities, while also trying to make time for the things that matter most to you?
If so, I hear you. And you’re not alone.
In our world which is full of distractions and pressures, being intentional with your time is more important than ever.
But traditional approaches to time management fall short.
A holistic approach to time management offers a powerful solution.
Rather than focusing solely on productivity and efficiency, a holistic approach considers all aspects of your life and creates a more sustainable and balanced approach to managing your time.
In this post, we'll explore what a holistic approach to time management is and why it actually works.
If you're ready to feel like yourself and live your life the way you want to, keep reading!
What is a holistic approach to time management?
A holistic approach to time management goes beyond simply organizing tasks and schedules.
This radical way of managing time explores the interconnectedness of all the areas of life such as work, relationships, environment, finances, and your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
It recognizes that time is a precious and limited resource. It aims to help you make conscious, intentional decisions about how you spend your time to experience a greater sense of purpose, satisfaction, and overall well-being.
At the core of holistic time management is you. Your values, your priorities, and long-term vision.
It believes that when you are well, everything else is easier. Much easier.
Because of this, a holistic approach to time management is inherently anti-capitalist.
When you spend your time in a way that prioritizes enoughness, fulfillment, and wellness, you are challenging the dominant, capitalist narratives around time and productivity.
Holistic time management helps you resist the societal pressure to work longer hours and prioritize work/doing/productivity above all else. It helps you reclaim your life and live the way you want to.
My application of holistic time management also acknowledges that time is not only an individual problem or solution, it’s a collective one. How we’re able to spend our time is directly connected to the systems we live in and the privileges and support we have.
What happens when you don’t use a holistic approach to time management
Time management was founded by a fellow engineer, Frederick Winslow Taylor (the author of The Principles of Scientific Management published in 1911).
The goal of traditional time management? Optimizing productivity and efficiency to complete as many tasks as possible in the shortest amount of time, with the hope that if you get everything done, you can rest and relax.
The problem with this thinking? Work and to-dos never end.
Traditional time management does not take into account individual rhythms and needs and ignores the beautiful, magical, intuitive, and unpredictable-ness of life.
Trying to manage our time in a capitalist and extractive way leaves us feeling shame, failure, isolation, guilt, unrealistic expectations, falling behind, stress, exhaustion, overwhelm, and burnout.
It’s no wonder we’re exhausted, we’re still using many of his (and other neurotypical, middle-class, white male) principles.
Time management with a holistic approach actually works
A holistic approach to time management actually works because it recognizes and honors the fact that you are a unique and whole, human being.
And it emphasizes self-knowledge, mindfulness, compassion, trust, and intuition.
If you have trauma, a chronic illness, are neurodivergent, or are simply a human who doesn’t want to live exhausted on autopilot, holistic time management is here for you.
It’s about more than just checking off tasks on a to-do list.
It's about identifying and crafting an easeful life around your values and priorities. It also acknowledges and addresses the societal factors and deeper beliefs that cause you to feel overwhelmed, stressed out, or short on time.
Holistic time management will give you the skills, mindsets, and tools you need to finally have time for everything that’s important to you, including space to rest, have fun, and enjoy your days.
A holistic approach to time management allows you to engage with a life beyond being a cog in the machine.
You get to accomplish your goals while experiencing a life full of peace and freedom.
You get to be the person you want to be.
To create the art and beauty you want to see in the world.
And to experience more ease and joy than you’ve ever felt.
What’s more important than that?
Hire me as your time coach to create time for everything that’s important to you, including space to rest, have fun, and enjoy your life!
5 Self reflection questions for an end of the year review session
5 Self reflection questions for an end of the year review session
We 21st-century humans move through life at such a high speed, whether it feels fast in the moment or not, we often miss what’s right in front of us.
As a time coach, reflecting is the key to intentionality, healing, growth, progress, and success.
Self-reflection or introspection helps you acknowledge what you did, who you were, and what went right.
It can also help you determine what can go better moving forward. Better meaning more authentic or aligned. Not better according to society or guilt.
Want to feel more aware of how you spent your time?
Want to more easily celebrate yourself? Feel more compassion, motivation, and confidence?
Grab a pen and paper or open a fresh google doc to reflect on your last year with me!
Before continuing, PAUSE!
Before we pause and reflect, let’s get super meta and pause to take a few big deep breaths.
Feel free to close your eyes, put your hands on your heart for a gesture of self-compassion, and take three big deep breaths.
Open your eyes, when you’re ready, and we'll go ahead and get started.
5 Self-reflection questions for an end-of-year review session
Q1: What happened in your life and business?
The first question that I always need to journal or think about to decompress from the past year was: What happened in my life? What happened in my business or job?
Here’s what happened in my life and business and what I learned in 2022.
Pause reading this blog, and take some time to journal about this question. I’d recommend 10 to 15 minutes. Feel free to open up your digital calendar or planners to help jog your memory.
Q2: What happened in the world around you?
The second question is: What happened in the world around me?
So not just in your personal life, but expanding out to what happened in your community and the world.
In 2022, we seem to be recovering from COVID, wars and revolutions broke out, elections were had, and so much more. I often forget about how current events in the world impact me and add internalized stress and anxiety.
Feel free to take another 10 to 15 minutes to jot down all the things that happened in the world around you that you can think of.
Q3: What goals did you accomplish? Not accomplish?
The third question is: What were the goals that I set at the beginning of the year? Which of them happened, and which didn’t?
If you want to go deeper, ask yourself why you think that was the case. For the goals that happened, what supported you in accomplishing them? For the ones that didn’t happen, how can you give yourself permission to let go of them?
If you need help letting it go, go back to the last question, what happened in the world around you? What happened in your life? Hopefully, those two questions will give you a bit of permission or compassion around why they didn't come to fruition.
Pause reading and journal about that connecting to the last two questions and truly start to see kind of how all these things that impact our time, ourselves, and our lives start to fit together.
Q4: What have you learned over the past year?
The next question that I always love to reflect on is: What significant lessons can I gather from the last year of my life? Some additional questions are:
What have I learned from all the things that have happened?
What did I learn about what makes me successful?
Then, ask yourself: How might I carry these lessons with me into the new year?
Again, pause reading here to take some time to journal about your takeaways now.
Q5: How can you celebrate yourself and your efforts?
The fifth and final question is: How can I celebrate myself and my efforts?
If you're here reading this and reflecting on your last year, that is enough to celebrate. I’m celebrating you reflecting and reviewing the past year because it’s 100% going to set you up for success.
A simple and easy way to celebrate yourself is through self-talk. You can say to yourself, “Thank you for making it through another year. Thank you for reflecting. Thank you for caring about me. Thank you!!!”
Another question you can ask yourself is: What do I need to do to make sure I actually celebrate myself?
It’s really easy for people to move right past celebrating themselves. This is the most important part of the end-of-year review session. You deserve celebration and acknowledgment!
Ok, I lied. Q6: Where would you like to be in a year from now?
With your above reflections and this question, it’s time to create a plan for 2023 that is sustainable, realistic, and most importantly authentic to you.
Want to end 2023 knowing that you made the best use of your time, energy, and attention?
Want to be able to take more time off to rest and take care of yourself than ever before? Or discover the strategies that will help you stay focused on and follow through with what matters most in your life?
Whatever it is, I'm here for it.
Click here to learn how time coaching can support you as you thrive into the next phase of your life.
Partner Works Too Much? Why & What To Do About It
My partner means so much to me. We just celebrated four years (watch this short montage reel I created!) of marriage and it still feels like we’re in the honeymoon phase most days.
I credit much of the strength of our relationship to the healing and growth work I’ve done around time, worth, and success.
Why?
Simply put, time is your life. Time is your presence. And it’s how you show love.
Before I started healing my own misunderstandings around time... I spend most of it working. Not just on my “work-work”. I was always going and doing things.
Without checking everything off my to-do list and successfully achieving all my goals, I didn’t feel deserving of love or partnership.
Where did this leave me? Us?
While I cherished my relationship, it was suffering because of my inability to be with him. I rarely sat still long enough to form a real and deep connection with myself, let alone my partner.
Cue all the frustration, resentment, and guilt.
I created this blog for those of us craving more presence with our partners, our kids, our family members, or even ourselves. Keep reading for an inside look at making time for loved ones, because it is possible to have time for everything that’s important to you. And holistic time management can help get you there.
How do you know if you or your partner works too much?
These are the signs that I personally experience, and my clients’ experience, when we’re not making time for our loved ones.
Frustration, resentment, and/or guilt towards self or partner.
Feeling physically, mentally, or emotionally disconnected from your partner.
Never having time to cook and enjoy meals together.
Feeling unbalanced in domestic duties.
Struggling to not talk about work when you aren’t working.
Any successes you do have feel empty.
Think of something else I haven’t included in the list above? Feel free to share your unique experience in the comments below - who knows, others might be in the same spot.
Why is it so difficult to make time for our partners? We love them!
If your partner works too much or you find it difficult to make time for your partner... You are not alone.
As a time coach, an extremely common goal of my clients is to have more time for their loved ones. They want to know, “why is it so hard to make time for the people I love?”
Often it’s not about a lack of love. It’s because we’ve been taught to place more value on work, money (especially if we’re in survival mode), and success.
Many people label time with loved ones as rest, time off, and/or self-care. As we know, those are some of the most challenging things to actually have time for. We have to flip this inherent prioritization in order to reclaim our time.
If you’re a business owner, this feeling can compound even more. Our businesses feel like our babies in a way, taking time away from them feels impossible. Businesses that are passion-led and mission-based are deeply connected to our purpose.
Want to read more about the truth about the difficulty of taking time off? Click here.
What to do if you or your partner works too much?
The answer to this is a complex one. Because you and your relationships are unique, giving tips and advice doesn’t feel all that useful here.
The best thing I can offer are these three coaching questions:
Is making time for your loved one important to you?
If so, why? What will happen in your life if you make more time for them?
What is ONE small thing you can implement today to be more present with them? Some steps could look like:
Pause and take a deep breath (or three).
Setting clear expectations with your partner about how you spend your days.
Discover and focus on doing the things you both love to do together.
Heal any limiting beliefs around what’s preventing you from making time for them and being present.
Create time management systems to make the time actually happen. For example, a shared calendar to more openly communicate your schedules. In my Sustainable Schedule VIP Day, I’ve worked with clients to create shared calendars with their partners, for their kids, and a co-parenting schedule. Learn more here.
Adopt a practice mindset where it’s okay to mess up and fail sometimes.
Recognizing the little moments throughout the day.
Notice a trend in all these steps above? They’re all related to time management.
Why time management is so important for good relationships
Simply put, time is your life. Time is your presence. And it’s how you show love.
It’s also how you make money, pay your bills, and find fulfillment in your life.
Making time for everything that’s important and meaningful to you is no doubt a juggling act. I’ll be the first to say it is a constant work in progress. (Yes, even for me… a time coach).
Time management is the most important thing you can focus on because when you effectively accomplish everything you need to, tasks don’t bleed over into your time with your loved ones.
You can relax and enjoy the company of your people without feeling guilty (HUGE!)
When you prioritize and dedicate time and energy to your relationship, it will flourish.
If you are able to tap into the present moment when you’re with your partner, it’ll be a lot easier to feel connected and loved.
The opposite is also true. When you don’t spend time with the people that mean the most to you, the relationship will suffer in some way. Learn more about the benefits of rethinking how you manage your time.
Holistic Time Management is your best bet for making time for loved ones
Traditional time management focuses on helping you be your most productive self at work, sometimes at home. When you set goals, create a schedule, or write a to-do list… it’s rarely encouraged or taught to include things like rest, time off, and/or self-care.
If we equate our relationships with those things, it makes complete sense to me that they don’t happen as often as we’d like them to.
Holistic time management understands the entire scope of your life and what’s most important to you, like your relationships. Managing your time with a holistic approach will allow you to be a whole human being.
Learn more about why holistic time management works so well here.
Want your evenings back to spend with your partner (not thinking about work?)
Learn more about 1:1 holistic time coaching.
The Truth About Time Pressure (Why You Always Feel Rushed)
The unsettling truth about time pressure (and why it's not your fault)
The meaning of time pressure
How often do you feel pressed for time or catch yourself rushing through the day?
Often? You’re not alone. According to Gallup Poll in 2015, 48% of Americans said they don't have enough time.
That right there is time pressure.
The Conversation defines time pressure as “…how rushed or pressed for time people feel on a daily basis”. It also relates to whether individuals perceive they have sufficient time to do what they need or want to do (including time for work, family, leisure, travel, study, volunteering or exercise).”
Time pressure can also be known as time scarcity, time poverty, or time anxiety.
The impacts of living with time scarcity
If you’re an entrepreneur or a self-development fan, I am sure that you have read about, taken courses, or done some healing work around a scarcity mindset when it comes to money.
Time poverty is no different.
According to the American Psychological Association, a scarcity of resources, including financial resources, shapes everyone’s decisions and behaviors. Living with scarcity drains mental resources and increases negative emotions, which narrows our focus and impacts our day-to-day decisions.
When you’re focused on a resource(s) being limited or running out, it takes you out of the present moment and prevents you from living the life you want to live.
Scarcity creates additional stress and anxiety, which we know now the massive impacts of stress on our bodies and minds.
Time pressure has a significant and negative impact on your ability to effectively manage your time, grow your business, and live your life.
I do also have to mention that some folks feel more motivated and work well under deadlines which is an acute form of time pressure. However, when you have a chronic feeling that there are simply too few hours in the day, that’s when the negative impacts start to set in.
Why time anxiety is not your fault
I do an exercise with my holistic time coaching clients to get a gauge on any time pressure or anxiety they have.
Often, they're shocked about how many negative thoughts they have around time that adds to felt time pressure.
Some common thoughts are:
“I'm always late”
“I'm so behind”
“I can’t believe it’s already (insert month/year)”
“I'm way too slow”
“I'm so busy”
“I don't have the time”
“I never have enough time”
“I don't have time to relax” or “I'll relax when I'm done”
“I'm not productive”
“I waste so much time”
(Notice any over-generalizations or all-or-nothing thinking?)
Once my clients start noticing their time scarcity mindset in their lives and business, it’s a lot easier to make decisions and create sustainable time management strategies to mitigate other time pressures.
The three biggest questions that I asked myself when I started healing my time scarcity mindset were:
What did I see and learn from my parents, caregivers, and those around me as a kid, growing up around time?
What do I currently think and feel about time?
Why do I believe them? Why do I think they're true?
Personally, I realized that I had adopted a scarcity worldview from my childhood, education system, and previous wage-labor jobs. My clients are frequently in the same situation.
Time anxiety is not limited to just your or my personal experiences though. We also need to investigate who or what taught so many people that what we get done is insufficient or that there is never enough time.
Time poverty is a societal (and systemic) issue
Mindset work can feel gaslight-ey.
Thoughts are hard to catch. Especially when you don’t or you feel like you don’t have enough time.
Not enough time is 100% real, nor are all 24 hours the same for everyone.
I appreciate that the APA states that any negative actions connected to scarcity are not the fault of individuals experiencing a form of poverty; scarcity research indicates that these are universal processes.
I mean…if in 2015, 154 million Americans said they felt time scarcity, it makes sense to me that it's a systemic issue just as any other large-scale issue is.
This is where I always come back to the negative impacts of capitalism.
Redflag shares, “The competitive drive to accumulate wealth through the exploitation of human labour is the starting point for understanding capitalism and oppression.”
Human lives (aka our time!) are the most important resource to profit on the planet.
There will never be enough time to get everything done. It’s literally impossible.
This is why the traditional time management and productivity advice encouraging us to get more work done, faster leaves us exhausted and confused.
Time abundance and liberation are possible
Feeling a lack of time is one of the things that is easy to revert back to. It’s normalized and engrained to think, say, and communicate to the people in our lives about how busy we are and how little time we feel we have.
I want to make sure I share with you that there is hope.
Time abundance (feeling like you have more than enough time) and time liberation (feeling free around how you spend it) are possible for you. I believe they are possible for everyone.
Both require individual AND systemic shifts, that are equally important.
Individually, if you want more time, or at least to feel like you have more time, in your life TODAY, I suggest starting with your thoughts rather than anywhere else.
Why?
Because if you have a time scarcity mindset, you will never have enough time no matter what planner, calendar, hack, or tool you try.
Addressing your time beliefs can make a huge difference in your relationship with time and really support you in managing your time more aligned with your values.
What’s coming up for you after reading the unsettling truth about time scarcity? Feel free to comment below. I’d love to support your investigation, healing, and thriving.
Learn more about how to feel at peace with time (while still accomplishing deeply meaningful goals)!
10 Powerful mindset shifts to revolutionize how you spend your time and money
“How do I take more time off without impacting my revenue and income?“
If you’ve ever asked yourself that question, you’re in the right place.
Dave, from Turning Point Financial Life Planning, joins me for an in-depth interview about the real and deep connection between time and money.
You will walk away with:
Tangible language around the relationship between the two and why our resources always seem to be in opposition.
Clarity on what you can and can’t control when it comes to your time and money.
How holistic financial planning and time management is the key to finding your unique balance.
Tools we use to create time and money abundance in our lives and businesses.
How do you see the connection between time and money?
Dave
There is of course a relationship between time and money. We use time to earn money. We use money to buy ourselves time.
But what’s most striking to me about both time and money - is how many of us have a relationship with both time and money which is defined by scarcity.
There’s never enough time. There’s never enough money.
But what’s interesting is that while our immediate time and money resources often feel exceptionally constrained, we often assume that time and money resources will be more abundant in the future.
These beliefs might sound something like: I can’t save for retirement right now, but I’m sure it’ll all work out. I don’t have time to rest and recuperate right now, but as soon as I [insert goal here] I’ll be able to.
The trick is, of course, that all we ever have is the present moment.
How you are — and how you think — in the present moment is quite likely how you will be and how you’ll think in future present moments.
So what to do? We train ourselves to think, and relate, differently to money and time.
I believe this retraining begins with a deep reflection on who you are and what you want. What is important to you? How do you want to be leading your life?
Answering these questions is hard work. And it isn’t easy.
Aligning your use of time and money with a deeply meaningful and fulfilling experience of living is not a quick fix. It is a life-long practice.
But it’s incredibly rewarding and worthwhile.
Becca
Time and money are tools that societies have developed with the intention to help us live more collaboratively. The main difference between them though is money is completely invented by humans, while time is inherently natural–the sun rising and setting every day, standardized and commoditized.
Just like any other tool, both time and money can be used in a healthy and beneficial way on a collective and individual level, or in a corrupt and scarce way.
When an individual has enough time and money, most people would say they have a good quality of life. Almost everyone I work with as a time coach, as well as myself personally, is aiming for this sweet spot. Also, when an organization uses its time and money in a healthy way, they are able to make a positive difference in the lives they impact and one would most likely say that is the definition of success.
How often is this sufficient sweet spot achieved (or even noticed), individually or collectively? Rarely, unfortunately.
Why? I believe this for two main reasons.
The complex relationship that exists between us and the two.
Time and money are deeply intertwined: How we spend our time, impacts the amount of money we have. Likewise, how we spend our money, impacts the amount of time we have. Often the more we have, the more we’re able to create.
How each of us experience, use, and feel about both time and money are impacted by who we are as humans, our experiences, and our outlook on the world.Corruption and scarcity.
There’s a lot that can be said about why, how, and where. But if I had to summarize it: Our economic system, as we know it, is completely dependent on how much of our time (human life) can be bought as cheaply as possible to turn into a profit. This has created a society that is individualistic, and competitive and highlights a scarce relationship when it comes to our time and money.
Over the years, we’ve been taught to equate our influence and worth as humans with how much money or time we have. When one doesn’t have or doesn’t feel like they have, enough money, time, or both, there is often a felt sense of failure.
What can I control when it comes to time/money?
Dave
I have good news and bad news.
The BAD news is that you can control virtually nothing when it comes to time, money (or anything else in life).
The GOOD news is that you can control virtually nothing when it comes to time, money (or anything else in life).
Much as we might try and resist this inconvenient fact, we have the ability to control only two things: our attention and our actions.
That’s it. Your attention and your actions. That’s all you’ve got. What are you paying attention to right now? You can control where you direct that attention. What action are you taking right now? You can control that action.
But there’s a catch! (Isn’t there always a catch?) You can only control your attention and actions IN THE PRESENT MOMENT.
Literally, everything other than your current-moment actions and attention is outside of your control.
But this is actually good news - it can be a relief to recognize we can only do what we can do - and we can let go of trying to control the rest.
There is SO MUCH in your financial life that’s out of your control. Pretty much everything! That’s ok. You can let that go.
And then… let’s focus on where you can direct your attention… and what intentional actions you can perform to begin your journey to financial health and wholeness.
Becca
There’s a lot out there we don’t have control over in our world. However, because money and time are human constructs, I believe we have control of quite a bit.
We have control over:
What we do with the time and money we have. We get to vote with our minutes and dollars for the kind of world we want to see.
How we think and feel about time and money.
How much is enough in our lives.
I also know the overwhelm or apathy that can set in when thinking about how big and messy the world is can melt away when we focus on what we do have control over. How might you focus on what you have control over?
What is holistic financial planning?
Holistic financial planning takes care of you as a whole human being. It doesn’t impose unrealistic budgets (or any other unrealistic constraints) upon you, because it incorporates your humanity.
The whole point of financial planning is to build a better life for you as you actually are - not as you (or anyone else) thinks you should be.
Holistic financial planning begins with you and your life. What do you want your experience of living to be like? What do you want to spend your time doing? How much do you want to work? Beyond work, what else do you need time, money and energy for?
Holistic financial planning includes working to let go of productivity as self-worth (thank you, Brené Brown). We then intentionally structure meaningful and financially rewarding work as one part of your overall life plan.
Once we’ve thoughtfully defined the life you want, we get about the work of structuring your financial resources to support that great life. That is actually the easy part!
Sure, there are things to learn and work to do, but the hardest work is getting clear about your vision for your life. Don’t worry - I’ve got some tools to help you bring some clarity and definition to your great life. If you’d like, you can get a sneak preview here.
What is holistic time management?
There are millions of blog posts, articles, podcast episodes, and books out there giving advice on time management and productivity. However, even with all the advice out there, how many people truly feel like they have enough time and are able to spend their time how they want to?
Millions of people. Why?
Regular ol’ time management has one main goal: Be more productive and efficient at work. With the general undertone or implication to make more money, oftentimes for your company or boss. Traditional time management and productivity gurus say to be more productive at work and get everything done first to earn, self-care, rest, or time-off.
But we know that to-do lists never end and believing we can work really hard to get ahead only leads to stress, overwhelm, burnout, and often less money or success. That’s where holistic time management comes in.
Holistic time management’s one main goal is: Spend your time in a way that makes you healthy and fulfilled today.
The assumption in traditional time management is flipped on its head and says you can get everything done easier and achieve everything you want when you prioritize your well-being first. Because when you’re well-rested, healthy, happy, energized, and taken care of…time becomes abundant.
If you had to pick one tool to share, which do you think is most impactful?
Dave
Engaging with your money stuff and structuring your financial life - whether you hire someone like me to help you build a holistic financial plan - is NOT a one-and-done project. Rather, navigating our money is an ongoing practice.
For that reason, I believe that cultivating a consistent practice of engaging with your money and your finances is the single most powerful tool out there. Especially as a small business owner, you have myriad financial tasks to execute and money matters to contemplate.
For (almost) everyone I suggest the practice of a weekly “money date.” The money date isn’t an original idea, but I sorta have my own take on it. You can hear me speak in greater detail about the money date here.
The core of a money date is a weekly, scheduled time for you to sit with your money stuff — and see what comes up.
This isn’t a time to actually accomplish anything. Rather, it’s a time to simply be present, to bring your awareness to some financial matter. And be curious about what you discover. Curious about the external details. And curious about what internal, emotional responses and bodily sensations arise within you.
We engage to make better friends with our emotional responses, especially those which are a bit more challenging to hold (like fear, anxiety, or worry). By holding this space for exploration, your next, empowering money steps will begin to reveal themselves.
Becca
You!
There is so much pressure, information, and noise out there telling us how to best organize and spend our time. There are a ton of tools… and I believe they all can work.
The real tool is who you are, your core values, and what makes you tick. You don’t have to go searching outside of yourself. Pause, tune out the noise, ask yourself how you want to spend your time… and then do that.
Sounds simple, but oftentimes the most simple thing is the most powerful.
As a holistic time coach I get to help people leverage who they are in order to live more consciously, fully, and joyfully in their relationship with time. The work I do with my clients is profound because it all starts with getting to know who they are in relation to their time. It’s a time management tool, skill, and hack all wrapped up into one.
What’s a time and money quote you live by?
Dave
This quote has nothing to do with time or money. And it has everything to do with time and money.
When we’re thinking that we’re competent or that we’re hopeless—what are we basing it on? On this fleeting moment? On yesterday’s success or failure? We cling to a fixed idea of who we are and it cripples us. Nothing and no one is fixed.
That’s from Pema Chödrön’s book The Places That Scare You. And I’ve found money is often a place that scares us!
Becca
I have two I have to share here:
Scarcity is a lie. Independent of any actual amount of resources, it is an unexamined and false system of assumptions, opinions, and beliefs from which we view the world as a place where we are in constant danger of having our needs unmet.” - Lynne Twist from The Soul of Money.
I grew up in a false scarcity of time and money, but it felt just as real. I’m continuously working on healing my scarcity relationship and this quote helps me do that. It’s firm, convincing, and direct… all of which I need to make my overthinking mind take a pause and say “oh, yeah… that’s true.”
As long as you’re oriented toward the future, you can never just relax into what you already have or already are.” -Pema Chodron
Apparently, Pema Chodron has deeply impacted our relationship with time and money, Dave! Love it. As a buddhist, Pema reminds me that life is short, uncertain, and scary as hell. That’s why I live by this quote. It’s the solution required to heal scarcity and fear.
What mindset shifts will you integrate in your life and business from this interview? Comment below.
Want to feel confident, in control, and at peace with your time? Click here to get free + supportive resources!
How to take care of yourself when you have the winter blues
How to take care of yourself when you have the winter blues
Once the holidays pass and deep winter sets in, it's easy to forget that this is traditionally the season to slow down and rest.
Especially because we’re inundated with posts and workshops about setting goals and making plans for the new year.
Extra especially because most modern-day cultures and economies do not shift with the natural seasons. Can you imagine Walmart or Target and the oil industry opting to slow down or close? Ha.
However, nature doesn’t stay at top speed and max growth all year round. And guess what? As human beings, we are nature!
That’s why millions of people in America alone experience winter blues. Or more intensely, "seasonal affective disorder", also known as "seasonal depression.”
As business owners, it can feel extremely difficult to slow down. But it doesn’t have to be.
You have a unique opportunity to create a culture within your life and your business to shift with the seasons.
You became a small business owner to do this exact thing.
How to “beat” the winter blues
I'm just going to go ahead and say it: I hate the cold.
In the winter, my body hurts, I'm not motivated at all, and I just want to eat a bunch of food and hibernate. My husband basically has to drag me out of the house to get outside because of how much I hate the cold.
If you’re with me or you typically have lower energy and motivation in the winter months, you are not alone. Millions of people experience a sort of winter blues or seasonal depression. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you for wanting and/or needing to slow down in the winter.
In fact, I’d say you’re extremely in tune with yourself and I’m celebrating that about you.
Understanding why the winter blues happens to you
Internal and external factors greatly affect how we manage our time, get things done, and achieve our goals. In order to more holistically manage your time, taking them into account is extremely important. Want some examples?
Internal factors are our mental health, physical health, energy levels, menstrual cycle (if you have one), and more.
External factors are like the weather, our physical space, astrology (if you believe in astrology as I do), geographical allocation of resources, policies, and more.
As humans, we can’t ignore them. We have to work with them, including during the winter.
When you think of wintertime, what do you think of?
Cold weather
Long and dark days
Trees, plants, and things that have died off and don't grow for months
Animals hibernate or migrate to warmer places
Death and decay
Slowing down
Sleeping
Wintertime as an external factor causes a major shift in our bodies where they want to slow down and rest more.
So when winter rolls around and you have a ton on your plate, big goals, packed schedule… your body wants to do the exact opposite. This makes it extremely difficult for you to feel motivated, get focused, and be productive in the same way as other seasons.
Feel the urge to slow down, a lack of motivation, or an increase in negative self-talk in the winter months?
Then you are someone who is impacted by seasonal changes, and it’s extremely important to learn how to work with this external factor.
Shift your mindset around beating the blues
Most articles talk about beating the blues as if you’re in a fight against yourself. That’s not helpful for anyone.
You don’t have to beat the blues. You don’t have to be productive right now. You can rest more, and still be successful.
Shifting your mindset around beating the winter blues looks like:
Not suppressing the urge to rest and forcing yourself to work at high speed.
Letting go of the pressure to operate at the same speed you might during other times of the year.
Taking the best care of yourself through it…which typically means slowing down, a lot.
Doing what you need to do to come out on the other end prepared and ready for the next season to begin.
Listen to your body
Winter is the best season to practice being more mindful and listening to what your body needs. Your body wants to slow down, wants care, and wants ______. (You fill in the blank: What does your body need right now?) Mine needs a NAP.
This season is also a great time to lower self-expectations, do the bare minimum, reflect on your life or business, watch Netflix without feeling guilty, or just sit in front of a fireplace and chill.
Doing the bare minimum, slowing down, and resting might feel challenging at first. Listen to what your body needs and wants, and let go of the rest of the stuff until there's more sunlight.
Welcome this opportunity to rest and recharge because it doesn’t come very often in our society and our businesses.
Max out your sunlight time
Keep as many window shades as you can open as much as possible to allow more sunlight into your home.
When you feel brave, bundle up and get outside. I try to as much as possible but as I said, I really hate the cold. But, whenever I actually go outside it really helps me.
Prioritize movement & nourishment
I typically prioritize movement all year round, but I have to even more in the winter because I just want to sit on the couch and do nothing. So, I create a list of all the current ways I love to move my body and schedule them 3-4x a week in my calendar when I’m most energized and motivated.
Then, I incorporate warmth. This looks like going to hot yoga, exercising in front of a heater, or bundling up and getting outside. But I try to move 3-4 times a week, even if it's just like dancing around my house for a couple of minutes.
By the way, there are some awesome gentle & free movement classes on YouTube. Click here for my personal playlist of yoga and mindful movement classes.
Another thing that I prioritize all year round, but especially so in the winter is eating healthy and taking vitamins. In the winter when we’re feeling less likely to move our bodies and eat healthily, even just taking vitamin D and C helps me feel like I’m doing everything I can to stay healthy and well.
How might you prioritize taking care of your body in the winter?
Make loving decisions for you & your business
What I mean by this is making decisions that are grounded in self-love. If taking a trip to a warmer climate (COVID permitting) would be loving, do it. If taking a nap would be loving, do it. If it feels like you’re forcing yourself to move and eat healthily, don’t do it.
If taking a bunch of stuff off your to-do list is loving, do it. If saying no to another client is loving, great. If you don’t feel like marketing right now, that’s cool.
Use this season to be more loving towards yourself in the decisions you make.
Additional external support
In the winter, I seek out more support than in other seasons of the year.
I am a huge advocate of getting support whether it be from a therapist, coach, friend, or something else. Especially if you’re winter blues is intense.
Why? Because sharing with someone else the shoulds I feel to do more in the winter helps me release them.
Consider investing in some accountability or external support around this time to make sure that you take really good care of yourself, in the winter specifically.
How will you “beat the blues?”
Recognizing you have the winter blues and taking care of yourself throughout the winter is how you can beat the blues, successfully manage your business, and be prepared and ready spring.
What specifically will you do to beat the blues? Comment below on what you are going to do differently this year.
Want support with shifting with the seasons so you can successfully run your business and take really good care of yourself? I can help! Click here to book a free consult call.
Why taking time off is so hard and how to do it without feeling guilty
Why taking time off is so hard and how to do it without feeling guilty
Resting and taking time off is not exactly glamorous or sexy. But… Do you know what is?
Feeling energized, motivated, and joyful on a regular basis. And being successful without having to work all the time.
If that's what you're into or looking for, taking time off and rest is non-negotiable. So why is it so challenging to put everything aside and make time for you?
By the end of this blog, you will understand why it's so hard for you to take time away from your business and what to do about it.
Why is taking time off so hard (even when you plan for it)?
Puppies.
Confused? Let me explain.
If you’ve ever had a puppy, you know how much work they are. It makes me tired just thinking about getting one.
Your whole life revolves around your precious new pup. You have to continuously take care of it and train it so it doesn’t go to the bathroom inside. It wakes you up all hours of the night. When you go to work, you have to put your puppy in a crate so it doesn’t chew your entire living room apart.
Guess what happens when you are done with work?
Your puppy is so excited to see you! But you can’t just flop on the couch and relax… your puppy NEEDS to use the bathroom and run around to get all its energy out.
Now, imagine that your mind is that puppy.
You’ve been working, doing, and going for your entire life keeping your thoughts and feelings in that metaphorical crate. When you take time off, you’re confronted with all of it.
Resting is not a piece of cake
Hustle culture, societal and familial norms, self and other people’s expectations, and basically everything that we’ve been taught since the first grade is to get things done.
Our entire economy is based on labor and output, with one goal in mind: non-stop growth.
Our minds are wired to constantly think about all the things we have to do.
That's why so many people say they feel lazy or behind when they pause, take time off, and rest. And that’s why it feels so much easier to continue to work and stay busy until you basically HAVE to rest (equivalent to burnout).
Now you might have some more clarity around why it’s so difficult to rest. However, logically even when you know something, it can still be incredibly difficult to do
Especially when you are an entrepreneur and you feel like your business will fall apart when you take time away from it. If you feel like this, there are many different things you can do to let go of that misunderstanding. Click here to find out how I can help you create a healthy foundation for you to take time away from your business.
If resting is hard for you and you want to learn more about how our societal norms, capitalism, racism, and the patriarchy impact your ability to rest, follow the nap ministry. They have taught me so much!
What’s possible when you take time for you?
When you pause, take time for yourself, and rest you get to sit with yourself.
You get to notice and feel your feelings.
You get to examine, reflect, acknowledge, and celebrate yourself.
You get to notice what’s going well, and what needs to change.
It might feel like a lot. Just like a real puppy, when it first gets out your thoughts and feelings may feel overwhelming. But by continuing to work and delaying time off, you keep your metaphorical puppy in its crate dying to get out.
That’s why I recommend having someone to support you through this journey.
Curious about what’s waiting on the other side of the initial puppy wild energy?
When you take more time off, you’ll be able to…
Be present for the things that deeply matter to you (your loved ones, your health, etc.)
Regularly feel refreshed, energized, and creative (not only to be more productive later).
Heal any underlying feelings of unworthiness, scarcity, and insufficiency.
Start feeling more fulfilled, alive, and successful.
Shift your mindset around time so every day doesn’t feel like a stressful high-speed race.
Find what being content and at peace looks like to you.
Start believing in things like divine timing and increase your patience.
Begin to feel more confident in yourself and how you spend your time.
Increase your self-trust, self-discipline, and self-love.
The list goes on and on.
However, I always say when you regularly rest and take time for yourself, you begin truly living.
If you want any or all of those things, learning how to take more time off and be with yourself is your answer.
How do you take guilt-free time off?
There are some tangible solutions and non-tangible solutions. And the solutions you need are completely unique to you, your business, and your life.
How you might create more time off and rest without feeling guilty could look like:
Identifying that you have a desire to make more time for yourself.
If you often say or feel, “I never have enough time,” healing a time scarcity mindset.
Setting and keeping firmer boundaries around your time off.
Aligning your schedule and working hours.
Adopting a mindfulness practice to handle the thoughts and feelings that come up when you rest.
If you can’t rest because you need to work to pay the bills, figure out how much money you actually need to create a plan and schedule to reach that number.
Learning how to be more compassionate with yourself because you can’t heal guilt with more guilt.
Planning your time more realistically (no more overcommitting and over-scheduling).
Ask yourself, “What might be my next step so I can rest and reap the benefits of guilt-free time off?”
As a holistic time coach, discovering how to reach your goals and take more guilt-free time off is one of the ways I help the business owners I work with.
If you’re ready to go from "I never have enough time" to at peace and fulfilled with what gets done in your 24 hours, including rest and time off… schedule a free no-pressure consult call now.
4 Personalized steps to get back on track when your day gets derailed
4 Personalized steps to get back on track when your day gets derailed
Don’t you think that life seems to have completely different plans than us some days?
You just want to know how to get back on track when the day seems to just get away from you, that's why you clicked on this blog post and I got you!
At the end of this post, you are going to have a super short and quick plan for what to do when your day gets completely thrown off.
Ok so, the kids are sick, you get stuck down a social media rabbit hole for an hour or two, you forgot about a meeting, your dog needs to go to the vet, maybe you just had a bad night of sleep last night and you're in a crappy mood today?
Let's be real, COVID has derailed over an entire year of our lives too!
It never feels good when you make plans and yet you can't do it because of some of the things I just mentioned. It feels like you only get an hour of real work in a day. Ugh.
Personally speaking, in my life when my day gets derailed or my schedule gets derailed it's because I just don't feel like doing something. I wanted to bring that up because sometimes it's not external, maybe it's internal and oftentimes I blame myself. I can get into those shame and blame cycles of “oh it's my fault that my schedule got thrown off, I could have if I had more self-discipline or actually followed through”.
Like I talked about in the procrastination blog post (if you haven't read it, check it out!) it's okay to let things marinate, sit, enjoy the creative process, and give things more time. Sometimes the longer you wait to do something some beautiful ideas might come from that time.
How to get back on track
Let's get right to the solution, how to get back on track, and then I want to share with you how to prevent it in the future so things don't go haywire as often as they are right now.
1. When you notice that your day has been derailed, pause.
Awareness is the first piece, you have to notice that everything got thrown off or something happened that doesn't go according to plan. Honor it, honor this, it sucks big time when you create plans and they don't happen according to the plan that you want.
2. After you pause, ask yourself what do I need to do right here at this moment to get it back on track?
Instead of ruminating and sitting in the why is this happening to me and why can't I control everything, start just by asking yourself, “what I can do right here in this present moment? What can I do to get it back feeling good, feeling easeful, or accomplishing what I need to accomplish?”
Oftentimes for me, it's yoga, breathing, taking time to journal, talk to a friend, whatever I need to just like get back in my body.
3. Ask yourself, can you do what you need?
Can you actually do that yoga class, can you breathe, can you call a friend, can you take a nap. If so…
4. Do it!
If you can’t, go back and ask yourself “okay, so what can I do? How do I get my day back on track, what do I need to feel better?”
How do you prevent your day from being derailed?
So that is what you need to do when your day is derailed but how do you prevent your schedule, plans, and your day from being derailed in the future?
Something that my clients and I often talk about is that whenever your day or plans get derailed it is because of high expectations and this illusion of control over your time, the day, or your schedule. It's the high stakes and the pressure that we put on ourselves to be perfect.
As much as we love being in control we have to realize that, at some point, we're just not. So shifting your mindset to being more human, being more flexible, being more compassionate is going to take you to have more success.
Every single time that you create a plan add extra space for things to move around. Or simply knowing that your plans 99% most likely will shift and that is what it is. That is what being human is about.
So tangibly this is why I love digital calendars because when you put your to-do list in your calendar you can move your tasks around and still have a visual that it IS possible to still get everything done.
Also, you can create extra space in between tasks, client calls, meetings, etc. That's the beautiful part about your digital calendar too. When you create more space you allow yourself to live, you allow more compassion, ease, and space. And that is so beautiful.
No matter if you are trying to figure out how to get back on track and taking care of yourself at this moment reading this post or you are attempting to be more proactive in your scheduling. Or in your time management to allow derails to affect you less and less. You are adding more compassion to your day and to your life so that needs to be celebrated. That is going to help you so so much in your business, your life, your relationships, your health and you'll be more productive (that’s like the understatement here).
I help people be more productive but at the end of the day, it's more about compassion, just being human, and living our lives. That is possible when you are flexible and intuitive with your time. If you enjoyed this post leave a comment below sharing what your biggest takeaway from this post was and what you are going to do to make a shift in your life, whether it's on the mindset side or, the tool side.
Want to feel confident, in control, and at peace with your time? Click here to get free + supportive resources!
The five minute mindfulness meditation for when you feel like quitting
The 5 minute mindfulness meditation for when you feel like quitting
I've 100% had moments that I wanted to quit my business!
I wanted to just run away, throw in the towel, and just, not have to deal with it anymore…
It was just too complicated and too much. If you have been in that situation or if you're in that situation right now, at this moment, I want you to know that it is 100% normal to have this experience when you are starting your business!
I made this 5-minute meditation for you so you can come back to who you are deep down. You can release any of the things that are weighing you down. You can come back to why you started your business in the first place so you can be re-motivated, reinvigorated, reignited in your passions and your drive to change the world + to do amazing things with your business.
If when you feel like quitting or it's just too much for you, come back to this 5-minute meditation, come back to this exercise. Just take a few minutes to go inwards, to breathe, be with yourself. That is the most beautiful thing that you can do to take care of yourself.
For whatever reason, if you feel like quitting your business and you need support. Someone to help you go inwards and figure out what's going on and how to be more intentional with your time so you don't feel so overwhelmed and like it's just too much to handle I’m here to support you.