"Do I still want to be a coach?" A reset for space-holders

“I don’t know if I want to keep doing this.”

It’s a sentence I’ve heard more and more from the most thoughtful, committed space-holders I know—and I’ve whispered it to myself, too.

Many of us come into coaching, healing, or facilitation work with a deep desire to help people, build purpose-driven businesses, and claim more freedom over our time.

At first, it feels hopeful. Expansive. Like we’ve finally found a path that aligns with our values.

But over time, that clarity can get buried under the weight of what we’re told we should do to succeed: Build the funnel. Grow the list. Create the signature offer. Be visible every day.

And somewhere in that maze of marketing plans and launches, we stop hearing ourselves.

This is how hustle creeps in—not out of greed, but longing. Not because we’re doing it wrong, but because we want it so badly to work.

Time Shame: When decisions get recast as failure

Eventually, many of us ask:

• Is this even working?

• Am I doing something wrong?

• Do I even want to keep doing this?

Then we start blaming and punishing ourselves.

• If only I’d launched earlier…

• If only I’d spent my time better...

• If only I’d been more disciplined, more visible, more consistent.

I call this Time Shame—a neaky, corrosive belief that convinces you the reason you’re not where you want to be is because you misused your time.

In this case, time shame tells us our business isn’t thriving because we misused our time. It confuses overextension for laziness. It recasts survival as failure.

And it doesn’t just live in our thoughts. It stays with us and shapes our decisions today.

We overcommit. Say yes when we mean no. Operate from panic instead of clarity.

Time shame is a systemic, internalized response to a world that values speed over sustainability.

When you can’t meet the pace or expectations, it’s easy to assume the problem is you. That you didn’t try hard enough. That you’re “behind.” That maybe you’re not cut out for this work after all.

Especially if you’re neurodivergent, chronically ill, a caregiver, or holding marginalization, there’s often no space to pause without shame.

Growing a sustainable business takes time

No one says this enough: it takes years to build something aligned, ethical, and sustainable. Especially if you're doing it without replicating hustle culture.

You’re not just building a business. You’re building a body of work. And that happens over seasons, not sprints.

It’s completely normal to need other sources of income while building your business. Forcing your business to carry the entire financial burden before it’s ready often leads to closing it down.

Letting your space-holding practice take the time it needs to grow is an act of resistance in a culture that prioritizes fast profits over real people.

Questions to Consider

• Have I made things harder for myself by trying to “make up” for time I think I lost?

• What if “I don’t know if I want to do this anymore” is actually a turning point, not a failure?

• How would your business look if it followed your body’s pace—not just your mental ambition?

• What would it look like to rechoose this path, instead of abandoning or doubling down?

Rechoosing, not quitting

If you're here—wrestling with doubt, questioning whether to keep going, wondering if it's all worth it—I want you to know that it is. It just might not happen on the timeline your brain wants it to.

What changed for me wasn’t a new business coach or another launch strategy.

Instead, I stopped asking how to “get back on track” and started asking whose track I was even on.

I gave myself permission to slow down. To listen. To remember why I started this in the first place.

And that’s what I’m offering now to other space-holders in the same place.

If this conversation speaks to where you are, I’d love to invite you to learn more and enroll in the 2025 Holistic Time Practitioner Certification summer cohort.

It’s a 12-week live cohort for space-holders who want to grow a steady practice—slowly, intentionally, and in alignment with their values—while learning to support clients navigating time shame and make time for what actually matters to them.

We begin July 31st.

Whether or not you join, I hope you know:

Your gifts are so needed. Especially right now. You’re not too late. You’re not too far gone.

You’re in the thick of becoming. That’s not behind.